Today is my birthday, and unlike Benjamin Button or Joan Rivers, I’m getting older. Maybe if I keep telling myself that I’m not really getting older, it won’t bother me that much.
I remember when birthdays used to be fun. Do you remember those days? Party hats, ballerina cakes (even though I was never much of one), party favors and if you grew up in the Los Angeles area there was Farrell’s ice cream parlor. Now the last remaining Farrell’s is out in Valencia and having become lactose intolerant doesn’t make for a fun time to be had there anyway. (Sorry, was that too much information?) Birthdays used to be fun, especially when you reached a milestone age. Twelve/Thirteen: Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Sixteen: driver’s license. Eighteen: yay, I am an adult, or so they tell me. Twenty-one: I can drink…legally.
Then, you hit the big 3-0! After that, it is all down hill. What milestone is left? A shopping day at Ross devoted to me, discounted movie theater tickets, early bird dinner specials? Come to think of it, it may not be that bad. But, I’m nowhere near discounted movie theater ticket age, unfortunately. When you are actually in your thirties…what’s there to celebrate? A shift in face care products from “cleansing” to “age-defying?” A rise in health insurance premiums? I’ve thought and thought and thought about this. So, I came up with a list of things I am celebrating.
Here is the list:
(Besides the obvious and clichéd “health, my family and friends, love…blah blah blah…”)
1) Still on the verge of preventative aging products and not actual anti-aging.
2) 30-second quick dry nail polish.
3) The moments I am able to use the restroom or shower at home with the door closed, not having to look after my son.
5) The Swiffer among other quick cleaning products.
6) Tums for those things that I was able to eat…once.
7) Ben-Gay for strains from strenuous movement, like bending over or sleeping in the wrong position.
8) The many uses of baby wipes, long after my son has been out of diapers.
9) Online shopping.
10) The parking ticket that I got the day before my birthday - luckily it wasn’t another moving violation.
I’m off to celebrate with my family. I celebrate them every day, as they do me. Maybe it’s not that bad.