January 13, 2010 | 2:35 pm

Glee Audition

Posted by Mihal Levy

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Dear Mr. Brennan, Mr. Falchuk and Mr. Murphy (or anyone who knows them or is related to someone who knows them who can introduce me to them),

I was going to write about auditioning for Glee before I even heard about the open call for auditions for next season.  So you can imagine how excited I was to hear that you will actually be holding auditions.  I have a great idea that I wanted to run by you (not that your ideas are not great, please don’t get me wrong).  Here is my idea: How about hiring me for a role on Glee, or at least an audition?  (You didn’t see that one coming, did you?)

Ok, I know what you are thinking: why me?  Well, let me tell you.  (First, let me think about it for a bit.)  I guess being a fan of the show doesn’t cut it.  (I even drudged up an old headshot of mine for your review - doesn’t everyone who lives in L.A. have one on file?  It’s not thaaaaat old, by the way.)  So, here are the top ten reasons I came up with why I should be on Glee.

1)  I met many members of the cast on a few occasions and we got along.  (That’s a plus, right?) 
2)  I have a background in musical theater - off-Broadway, of course…way off, in fact.  Let’s just say more to the west…way west - California.  Which is where I performed in high school.  (My high school drama teacher is a Facebook friend, so she can confirm the fact.  I am sure she remembers me…vaguely.  High school was a while ago…but not too long ago.)
3)  I can sing.  (Ask my three-year-old son.)  You should hear me in the car.
4)  I have been told that I look like I could be Lea Michele’s younger sister, even though I am older (hint-new character).  This is probably because I am a member of the tribe.  We all look alike, don’t we? 
5)  I studied music and sang throughout college as well (but got my degree in psychology.  Maybe I shouldn’t mention that last part…so, scratch that.)
6)  Please change the open call age limit from 26 years old and add just a few years.  I know you probably hear it all the time, but I don’t look my age…or better yet, even act my age.  (Just a side note - Stockard Channing was 32 when she played Rizzo in Grease.)
7)  I have a sense of humor, or don’t (depending on what you are looking for.)
8)  I work well with children and animals…and adults and producers and actors and directors and…you get the point. 
9)  I don’t require special perks on my rider.
10) And if I am a little off-key, there is always Auto-Tune.

And I know the drill, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”  So I won’t be calling you (because that would just be stalking at this point), but I will wait for your call or email or text message or IM or Facebook request or Twitter direct message…

By the way, I even have my audition mashup ready to go: Bette Midler’s “The Rose” and Depeche Mode’s “Blasphemous Rumors.”

Yours Truly,

Jew Mama, a.k.a. Mihal Levy