September 21, 2009 | 3:31 pm

Are You There God?  It’s Me, Mihal

Posted by Mihal Levy

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Dear God,

It’s been a while.  Sorry we’ve lost touch.  I hope you remember me; we haven’t spoken since the days of my Holly Hobbie diary and its important content - questions about boys and acne care products.  I figured the Internet was the best way to reach you nowadays (and I have since lost the key to my diary).  I just have a few questions I was hoping you could help me with.  I’m sure you must be busy this time of year, with American Idol decisions for next season, world peace and the whole inscribing in the book of life thing these next few days.  So, I’ll be quick…or try to be anyway.

1.  I don’t find enjoyment in activities that I used to or frankly never really enjoyed: laundry, dishes and dusting, to name a few.  What am I doing wrong?  I’ve been waiting for things to get better for a few years now.  Do I just find new hobbies and give up on these?  But, how do other women do it and enjoy it?  You know, the women on television.  Especially the laundry, they seem happy doing it.  I even tried switching fabric softeners, thinking that was the issue, but there was no spring in my step and no snuggly bear jumping out my dryer.  Is it me?  I want to be like those women in crisp white outfits, whose husbands can’t wait to come home to brighter whites.  Sure, my husband has never said anything out loud.  But I know the truth.  I could really use a pointer or two here, please help.

2.  Are play dates really necessary?  My son seems perfectly happy watching DVDs all day while I write.  He never complains.  When we finally head out to the park, we usually meet another child with his mom, or at least I think it is his mom, later discovering it’s the nanny, when mom finally comes to pick him and the nanny up after her manicure appointment. The freshly mani-pedied mom asks me when my employer will be there to pick me up, or if I need a ride home.  Then we trade phone numbers so we can set up the next play date.  I get both mom’s and nanny’s cell phone numbers.  So, who do I call?  It just gets way too complicated.

3.  And lastly, can you explain “Me time?”  What is that?  And is this something that people actually get?  How do I get it and where?  Is it available on the Internet?  I hear people saying that I should have more me time, but can’t seem to find it.

That’s it, for now.  Enough about me, how are you?  I’m looking forward to your response.  Feel free to reach me via email, snail mail or burning bush, however you handle things these days.
Sincerely,
Me