March 17, 2008 | 12:04 pm

Linens and things

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

“We need towels.”

I turn to my husband as we poke through the linen closet.

“How is it we don’t have towels? We have a cabinet full of sheets for a bed we no longer have and yet we have no towels?”

“We have the towels in the bathroom,” he tells me.

“Yes, but those are the ‘show’ towels,” I tell him as he pulls out a Mickey Mouse towel for my 25-year-old cousin who is staying with us for the night. “I know we registered for towels.”

“We have the ones from Bloomingdales,” he says. “I think we took off the ones from the other registry.”

Ah yes, I remember. We were told the ones at Bloomingdales were better quality. So we took off the less expensive ones at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Yes. That was a smart move that really worked out.

Yes, the Bloomingdales ones are nice and soft, but we also didn’t get very many. The two of us are used to our other towels, so of course, we’re fine with saving the nice ones for our guests.

“How is it we didn’t get more towels?” he asks.

“Because Nambe is prettier. So we have beautiful platters and vases that our guests can dry off with,” I tell him.

I try looking on a higher shelf in case I missed one. No luck.

“Can a sheet be used as a towel?” I ask as I pull out white one covered in flowers that I’m sure hasn’t been on a bed since the Bush the First years.

“I don’t think so,” he tells me.

I toss it back in.

“Well, at least we have all those coupons for 20% off at Bed, Bath and Beyond,” I say as I give up and close the closet doors.

So the new towels are not the top-of-the-line, and might not be as nice as the ones from Bloomingdales. But they’ll get the job done—at least better than a cake platter and a sheet will.

March 13, 2008 | 1:24 pm

Who says you can’t go home?

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

If anyone had told me 16 years ago that I would be sitting in my high school auditorium with my husband, my bubbe, my father and my father’s girlfriend—I would have said they were crazy.
But isn’t it funny how life can change?

The first time I sat in that auditorium I was a lowly freshman; my sister, who last week was singing and dancing on stage, was just two months old; my father was still married to my stepmother; and my husband was a senior in high school nearly 2,000 miles away.

Last weekend, I went home to Chicago. My husband, who had spent the week in the Midwest on business trip flew to meet me and we spent the night at my bubbe’s house in the burbs. I was in charge of driving, since I was the most comfortable with getting behind the wheel in snow.

After dropping my husband and bubbe off in the front, I parked the car in the large lot – odd for me, because when I was a student, I would usually park in back (closer to the school).

As I, in my winter boots, made my way to the entrance, I couldn’t help but notice my shadow … taller than the last time I had entered the building.

I walked into the lobby area in front of the auditorium and spotted two of my teachers – a rarity considering most of my sister’s teachers are younger than I.

“Hi Mr. H!” I said, to the man who taught me theater for two of the four years I was at the school.

He turned and his mouth dropped open and he exclaimed “Shoshana!”

The teacher he was with, who was the drama club supervisor, had a huge smile on her face.
I gave Mr. H a hug and turned to the handsome man next to me: “Mr. H, I don’t think you’ve met my husband. Mr. H taught me all I know about improv.”

As my husband shook Mr. H’s hand he said, “so YOU are the one who taught Shoshana all of her tricks?”

Mr. H said, “Guilty.”

I acknowledged the other teacher standing next to him and said: “They both did. I had my first directing job in Mrs. F’s drama program.”

Mr. H asked what I was doing there and I told him my sister was in the musical.

He shook his head and said: “I feel old” and then introduced me to his daughter, who was born when I was a sophomore.

The lights flickered and it was time to go in.

As we walked away, my husband asked if this whole thing was strange for me.

As I sat there with my family, I looked at the stage I had the pleasure of stepping onto many times in my four years at that high school.

I looked at him, squeezed his hand and smiled: “No,” I told him. “It’s like being home – only I think the room shrunk.”

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March 10, 2008 | 1:42 pm

It’s a double date

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

It has been a long time since I could call my dad and say “I made a new friend today.” I consider it one of the perks of being married. Since October, my husband and I have met several new married friends whom we’ve had dinner with, encountered on a vacation or made plans to get together with after meeting at a party. Suddenly, it is like a hidden world has opened and we have entered the realm of “couple friends.”

Sites like Kupple.com can help find “geographically desirable” friends with common interests. The roll-call forum on Cruise Critic allowed us to meet a great couple our age on our trip last year from Barcelona to Venice.

My husband and I have gone on several “double dates” — and it is a very cool experience. Some have been single friends who got married; some were married friends that are looking for couples to hang out with; and some are married couples that have become friends merely because our husbands share a common love of video games.

Both of us were a little unsure at first of how this would work. It’s one thing to befriend a single person—but a couple? When I used to date, I would come home and wonder: will he call me again? I thought it went well — but maybe I was wrong. Nah — I’ll get a call.

It is a whole new ballgame now: you can enjoy post-date conversation with your hubby. And there is no worry about “the one” as having many couple friends is very cool. Then you always end up meeting friends of friends and finding out you have other friends in common.

Making a new friend is great; making two is better; and having a spouse to accompany you is the best part of all! Who knew I’d be back in the dating game so soon after saying “I Do”?

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March 6, 2008 | 12:07 pm

Let’s stay together

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

Why can’t people seem to stay together? We invest time in their relationships. Applaud their triumphs as couples and mourn when things don’t go well. So why is it that everyone is breaking up?

I blame the networks.

While my adorable hubby was out of town at a conference, I was able to enjoy watching the myriad reality shows that he watches with me. From the time he left, until the time he returned, two of the shows that we watch every week: “The Biggest Loser” and “Big Brother” went from couple-themed shows to solo shows. The two were even touted as being shows based on partnerships: NBC’s “Biggest Loser: Couples” and CBS’s “Big Brother: Til’ Death Do You Part.”

On the NBC show, teams of friends (and one team of strangers) were working toward a common goal – good health. Their stories were inspiring; the way they worked together to accomplish something can teach any married or dating couple a lesson in loyalty.
The other show, what could be termed brain candy (something that feels good when you are in the moment, but makes you feel sick after), paired up strangers that CBS declared were “soulmates.” Hardly—although it was fun to watch the drama and the make-out sessions.
But this week something happened.

The couples on both shows, who were voted off by their fellow cast members as couples, were split. “Big Brother” even dropped “‘Til Death Do You Part” and now just has a heart inside the show’s logo.

I understand the need to maintain ratings at any cost —but would it have been so bad to allow the couple experiment to continue? Yes it would have meant a shorter season, but as Jack on one of my favorite shows, “Lost,” says so often: “If we don’t live together, we die alone.”

In a previous blog post, I talked about a new ABC reality show called “Here Come the Newlyweds.” The concept was cute, but the kicker: the couples have to vote each other off. Last week they eliminated a pair who opted to take 10,000 over a guaranteed immunity. The other teams rationalized that they had the money already. At least ABC won’t be splitting up these pairs, I hope.

On Monday, the granddaddy of break-up shows, “The Bachelor” is having a ‘Where Are They Now” special. We know where they are: Not together. Of the dozen bachelors and three bachelorettes there is only one – ONE – who is married to their “pick.” And even she was a reject from the show’s first season.

Here’s a novel concept. Let’s have a show where couples start together and stay together and no one is kicked off. If you do well you get more points, but you don’t have to leave.
The one show that comes close to this relationship nirvana is the CBS show “The Amazing Race.” Couples have to work together, never are asked to sever their relationship and only are eliminated by their own doing.

Is the formula working? “The Amazing Race” is the only Emmy-award winning show mentioned in today’s post. You be the judge.

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March 3, 2008 | 10:00 am

Walking down the (grocery) aisle

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

They say money doesn’t grow on trees. Technically it does, just not with the presidents on it. This week, I took a journey down the road of money management in a way that I wouldn’t necessarily have before.

I knew that this was a week for a “big shop”: what we term a visit to the grocery store that involves spending $100+. On the way home from work I had a choice to make. Do I go to Ralphs, which is in a slightly nicer part of town, has a great parking lot and a larger selection; or Vons, which is closer to my home, has a pain in the butt parking lot and less selection because it is is a smaller space.

The kicker: In my neighborhood, Ralphs costs more — and as a newlywed on a budget, who has to save where she can given the high cost of gas these days, Vons looked like the pick.

I have club cards for both locations, so I knew I’d be saving some money regardless, but I figured why save a little when you can save a lot?

So I exited the freeway in a slightly roundabout manner (the lack of left-turn lights near the shopping center drives me bonkers), maneuvered around the spaced-out pedestrians and “I really shouldn’t be behind the wheel” drivers and parked.

I had my shopping list (a MUST for couples on a budget), and something in my tummy (because you never want to go shopping on an empty stomach).

Yes the aisles were tight, but they had everything on my list—even some items the Ralphs near me didn’t carry like my low-sugar Smuckers apricot jelly. I knew produce would be costly, but almost everything was on sale. My yummy bottled Starbucks were $2 off I skipped getting more cereal in favor or 2-for-1 oatmeal; even the store brand of bread couldn’t beat the name brand “buy one get one free” sale.

Then it was the moment of truth: checkout time. I saw the numbers add up ... more and more, higher and higher. The checker hit the button for the total and I saw it: $120! I guess I hadn’t saved as much as I thought. Then he hit another button — all the “club” savings. My new total: $96!

I was so excited .... I couldn’t wait to tell my husband (something told me the people at Vons wouldn’t care very much that they would be getting less money from me).

In the end, it is amazing how the little things can make us so happy. Sure the parking wasn’t as great—and I kept having to skirt around families in the tight aisles — but saving that money, over time, will make life so much better.

I’d rather use the extra $30 toward our anniversary cruise in October — margaritas are so much more fun than fabric softener.

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February 27, 2008 | 5:06 pm

Being the Mrs.

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

Last Monday I had a slight identity crisis. I was at a temple Sisterhood meeting when a file folder was passed around. If you owed money for ordering birthday and anniversary cards, you looked up your name, noted the balance due and put in a check.

When the folder reached me, I pulled out my checkbook and searched through to find my envelope. It wasn’t there. At first I thought maybe I didn’t owe any money – but I knew I had sent a few tributes.

Then it hit me: My envelope moved to a different letter. Sure enough, the one with my name on it was now in the “F” section based on my married name, not my maiden name—where I had originally been searching for it. My maiden name had been crossed out and the married name put in its place.

Later, when a sign-up sheet to help at the Women’s seder was passed around, I wrote my maiden and married name on it. I figured it was one thing for me to get used to it, it was quite another for my friends to keep seeing it.

I’ve been trying to use my married name more and more, but since I am not legally changing it, I have to check when I sign up for things which name I can use – more often than not, using both names is not a problem (like the “win a Disney Cruise ” contest I signed up for this morning).

On Feb., 14, my husband and I spent our first Valentine’s Day as Mr. and Mrs. – which meant I got to buy his card from an entirely different section at Hallmark: The “To My Husband” zone. (Amazingly enough, the “to my wife” section was totally intact, while the husband section looked like a hurricane had hit it.)

When we went to our favorite restaurant that night for dinner, the owner looked at us and said: “It’s the Fs!” And I got a warm feeling in my heart.

Last weekend I attended a Spirituality Day event at our synagogue – it was the first time my full name has been on a tag since we were married in October.

Being an “old married lady” is quite a kick. You seem to achieve this knowledge about life – other married women look at you differently. You are thought of as a peer. Others turn to you for advice. You become a guru — but without the chanting.

However, no matter what, I’m still me – just with a longer name … and a more squished name tag.

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February 25, 2008 | 7:35 pm

Newlyweds in TV land

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

While watching an episode of “Lost” recently, my husband and I caught a promo that made us take notice:

On March 2 at 10 (ET/PT), ABC is starting a show called “Here Come the Newlyweds” where seven couples will try to win a ton of money to kickstart their life.

My husband turned to me and said—how come we didn’t try out for that?

I looked at him and said: You honestly want to be on TV in front of millions of people? We didn’t even want guests to see our house until we put away the wedding gifts.

Looks like an interesting show. Will you be watching?

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February 16, 2008 | 11:04 pm

Like ‘sands through the hourglass’ . . .

Posted by Mrs. Shoshana F

Welcome to the Jewlyweds blog. Having navigated through Tales of a Jewish Bride-to-Be, there is a whole new world that needs a map, a compass and a bottle of Arrowhead. Luckily, this time I get to chart a new path with my husband.

As we start this journey, I have to confess something:

I was wrong. So very wrong. I thought after the wedding was over, my husband and I would have plenty of time to just relax and enjoy without having to meet with vendors or pick out things for our registries or deal with an ever-growing guest list.

What an idiot I was. Before I was engaged, my life was jam-packed with events and meetings and family and errands and travel. Why in the world would I think that after my insane life became a part of my husband’s insane life that it all would be any easier?

I blame pop culture. With the exception of “Father of the Bride II,” you don’t get sequels to wedding movies. I’d like to see “While You Were Sleeping 2: All the Stuff I Did While You Were Still in Bed”; “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2”: The Family Comes for Dinner – Again”; or “When Harry Met Sally 2: Life on the Side.”

This weekend we have family in town; the weekend after we are free – as far as I know, for the moment, I think. The week after, my husband is off to bring technology to the Heartland. Then the following weekend we have a conference. Not to mention Purim and Pesach-related activities. I think things will start to slow down after that – but as I noted above, I’ve been wrong before. I’d love to know if other newlyweds feel the same.

Forget about a wedded bliss weekend – we’re looking for five minutes where we don’t have to be somewhere or do something. If you can send us five minutes of your time, we’re starting up a collection.

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