Bruno’s Top Five Jewish Moments

Universal Pictures has issued an embargo on reviews until the day before “Bruno’s” July 10 release, but here are some top Jewish moments from Sacha Baron Cohen’s highly anticipated (and litigious) mock documentary about a flamboyant gay fashionista who aspires to become the “biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler.”

1) When Bruno fails to achieve uber-fame by solving the problems in Darfur, he comforts himself with the knowledge that “luckily, there is still one sh—hole left to fix in the world:  “The Middle East”  (or “Middle Earth,” as he calls it).  But he doesn’t make many friends while traipsing in a black hat, pais and a speedo through a religious area in Israel, where enraged residents chase him out of the ‘hood. 
2) Bruno conducts dialogues between Israeli and Arab leaders, including an ex-Mossad chief and a Palestinian mayor of Jerusalem.  Alas, he confuses the word “hummus” with “Hamas.”
3) Bruno decides the best way to become famous is to be kidnapped by Muslim extremists, and so visits a leader of Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade in a refugee camp in Lebanon. “I want the best guys in the business.  Al Qaeda is so 2001,” he tells the man. “Your king Osama looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus,” he adds.  Needless to say, Bruno gets kicked out rather than kidnapped.
4) Bruno and his manager, desperate to land celebrity interviews, consult a chart they have made of top actors.  There is “Wilhelm Schmidt” (Will Smith), Adolf Pittler (Brad Pitt) and lastly, a man Bruno calls “Der Fuhrer.”  The camera pans to reveal the photograph of said star:  Mel Gibson.

5) After congressman Ron Paul pronounces Bruno a “queer,” the fashionista laments, “I couldn’t even shtup Rupaul (sic).  How am I going to get famous?