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Hollywood Jew

May 17, 2010 | 8:40 am

Tiger’s Jewish mistress Rachel Uchitel will pose for Playboy

Posted by Danielle Berrin

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Rachel Uchitel, best known as Tiger Woods’ favorite mistress has inked a deal to pose for Playboy. But there’s a catch: she has three weeks to back out, no strings attached, in case she discovers her inner-Jewish modesty. Besides, she only plans to bare her top half and backside anyway.

Perhaps beneath her fame-hungry, gold-digging mistress exterior, Uchitel is just a nice Jewish girl trying to make her way in the world. (Yes, she really is: read about it here.) And what better way to punctuate the Tiger-fame-wave than by leveraging her notoriety into a high profile Playboy spread?

But if what she’s looking for is a way out, the Torah has her covered. What exactly does the good book say about posing in the nude?

Luckily Los Angeles is host to uber-hip dean Rabbi Brad Artson, who presides over the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at American Jewish University. In an essay on Parashat Yitro, Artson writes about the difference between nudity and nakedness.

Nudity, he says, is a state of personal intimacy and trust, “beautiful and simple” like a baby’s tush; Nakedness, however, is a state of mind and implies a lack of protection, vulnerability, objectification.

“Nakedness can also be an assault on those forced to view another person undressed,” Artson writes. “Only someone very powerful, arrogant, or angry (socially or sexually) is in a position to impose their nakedness on others. To be forced to confront someone’s nakedness can be jarring. To endure someone’s exhibitionism is to have one’s privacy and modesty shredded.”

Hmmm… Playboy as assault on personal dignity. Of course! Revenge.

But there may be another motive yet…

Of all the mistresses in the woods, Uchitel was considered by Tiger the most fair. A recent Vanity Fair spread investigating the Woods scandal referred to her as “The Love Affair,” because, according to the magazine, Uchitel and Woods had a relationship that was “based not only on lust but also on love.” In his essay, Artson quotes a 13th century Spanish text, the Sefer Ha-Hinnukh that says, “For out of one’s action is the heart acted upon.”

Now that could mean one of two things: either she’s hoping her exhibitionism and sexual freedom will help her get over him, or maybe, just maybe, she’s trying to win him back.

More Rachel Uchitel on Hollywood Jew:
Yes, Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel is Jewish

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Inner Jewish modesty? That time is over. How’s ‘bout her inner hope for decency reborn. Maybe after she, whoops, gets pregnant and has the inner instinctual protection for her spawn calling - you know instead of the other type callings she get for her port of entry.

Comment by MissClarity on 5/17/10 at 3:46 pm

wow i didnt know she was jewish, im also jewish and have a big thing for black guys, so tiger just went way up in my book, it is very nice to know he doesnt just go for dumb blonde shiksas, and if i bent over in front of him, he just might grab a handdful of this tight little jewish tush hahaha.

Comment by elicia fienberg on 5/17/10 at 3:51 pm

This Uglytel woman is an immoral, shameless, money hungry w-h-o-r-e that has been trying desperately to trap a rich$$$$ man and has failed badly. Finally Uglitel has realized that her lovers were using her for nothing more than dirty, kinky, anything goes sex. In revenge she have threaten her lovers and demanded money for her silence. All Uglitel has now is a w-h-o-r-e reputation, spite, rage and a very used ugly silicone enhanced plastic body that looks more like a man on steroids.  She is trying to cash on it before she gets too old, since she is already pushing forty. Truly, truly, pathetic!!!

Comment by CLB on 5/17/10 at 4:13 pm

Why is this article obsessing about the fact that she is Jewish? If she was protestant, or catholic would they do the same thing?
Anti-semitism is so subtle that the people who are, are not even aware of it.
Miriam Feldman

Comment by miriam feldman on 5/17/10 at 4:33 pm

To Miriam Feldman - Consider the source is a blog titled “Hollywood Jew” at “JewishJournal.com.”

Comment by Clare on 5/17/10 at 4:52 pm

i never realized ‘til now that the whole blonde bimbo stereotype was a jewish slur against gentiles.

miriam sounds like glen beck.
http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/glenn_beck_cant_help_himself_he_has_nazi_tourettes_20100513/

Comment by Proton Soup on 5/18/10 at 3:52 pm

Rachel is only following a long line of Jews who used their naked bodies to get a man. Remember Bathsheba? 2 Samuel 11:1-5. I have never heard a rabbi use this portion of Torah to show us how clever women are, when it comes to getting “their” man.

Comment by Bob Hope on 5/24/10 at 2:26 pm

To Proton soup
What my comment has to do with Glen Beck is a mystery.
I cannot bear to listen to him, so it comes as a surprise that I’m like him.
Miriam Feldman

Comment by miriam feldman on 5/24/10 at 5:23 pm

miriam, it is your comment about the subtlety of anti-semitism.  as if there were one around every corner.  i find it a bit paranoid, like beck.

Comment by Proton Soup on 5/24/10 at 5:39 pm

Rachel claims “I’m not a “home wrecker, gold digger, tramp, whore ... I’m not those things.”
Um… yes you are. And it’s really disappointing that the Jewish Journal has provided her with an appearance of legitimacy. Rachel, try looking Tiger’s children in the eyes and explaining why their father won’t be living in their home as they grow up. Shameful piece of pseudo-celebrity “journalism”.

Comment by Ben Gurion on 5/24/10 at 6:48 pm

Holocaust Porn - Made in ISRAEL


  You have to see it to believe it and even seeing it might not help.

Don’t worry - there are no pictures in this excerpt from Israel: Whose Country Is It Anyway? by Andrea Dworkin. But, its content is for mature audiences only.

  I’ve been sent it over the years by feminists in Israel—I had seen it—I didn’t really believe it. Unlike in the United States, pornography is not an industry. You find it in mainstream magazines and advertising. It is mostly about the Holocaust. In it, Jewish women are sexualized as Holocaust victims for Jewish men to masturbate over. Well, would you believe it, even if you saw it?

  Israeli women call it “Holocaust pornography.” The themes are fire, gas, trains, emaciation, death.

  In the fashion layout, three women in swimsuits are posed as if they are looking at and moving away from two men on motorcycles. The motorcycles, black metal, are menacingly in the foreground moving toward the women. The women, fragile and defenseless in their near nudity, are in the background.

  Then the women, now dressed in scanty underwear, are shown running from the men, with emphasis on thighs, breasts thrust out, hips highlighted. Their faces look frightened and frenzied. The men are physically grabbing them. Then the women, now in new bathing suits, are sprawled on the ground, apparently dead, with parts of their bodies severed from them and scattered around as trains bear down on them. Even as you see a severed arm, a severed leg, the trains coming toward them, the women are posed to accentuate the hips and place of entry into the vaginal area.

Now, we know where this guy got his ideas from.

  Or a man is pouring gasoline into a woman’s face. Or she’s posed next to a light fixture that looks like a shower head.

  Or two women, ribs showing, in scanty underwear, are posed in front of a stone wall, prisonlike, with a fire extinguisher on one side of them and a blazing open oven on the other. Their body postures replicate the body postures of naked concentration camp inmates in documentary photographs.

  Of course, there is also sadism without ethnicity, outside the trauma of history—you think Jewish men can’t be regular good ol’ boys? The cover of the magazine shows a naked woman spread out, legs open, with visual emphasis on her big breasts. Nails are driven through her breasts.

If that’s what good ol’ israeli boys like - God help us from their perverts!

  Huge pliers are attached to one nipple. She is surrounded by hammers, pliers, saws. She has what passes for an orgasmic expression on her face. The woman is real. The tools are drawn. The caption reads: Sex in the Workshop.

  The same magazine published all the visual violence described above. Monitin is a left-liberal slick monthly for the intelligentsia and upper class. It has high productions and aesthetic values. Israel’s most distinguished writers and intellectuals publish in it. Judith Antonelli in The Jewish Advocate reported that Monitin “contains the most sexually violent images. Photos abound of women sprawled out upside-down as if they have just been attacked.”
  * * *

  For purists, there is an Israeli pornography magazine. The issue I saw had a front-page headline that read: ORGY AT YAD VASHEM. Yad Vashem is the memorial in Jerusalem to the victims of the Holocaust. Under the headline, there was a photograph of a man sexually entangled with several women.

  What does this mean—other than that if you are a Jewish woman you don’t run to Israel, you run from it?

So much for the ‘Holy Holocaust.’

They make a big stink if gentiles express even the slightest skepticism about it in public.

Yet, here they are - an entire nation built in its wake - openly masturbating over Holocaust pornography, that presumably THEY produce. After all, who else would dare desecrate their holy grail with such perversions unless they had their express permission???

Can it possibly get any more twisted than this???

If so, I don’t want to know about it.

  I don’t know if Israeli men are different from other men by virtue of using the Holocaust against Jewish women, for sexual excitement. I do know that the use of Holocaust sex is unbearably traumatic for Jewish women, its place in the Israeli mainstream itself a form of sadism. I also know that as long as the Holocaust pornography exists[,] only male Jews are different from those pitiful creatures on the trains, in the camps. Jewish women are the same.

  How, then, does Israel save us?

It doesn’t.

Since its inception, the ‘Jewish only’ state has been one perverse nightmare after another for the whole world - Jews and Gentiles alike.

Comment by Bob Hope on 5/25/10 at 2:25 am

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