Jewish Journal


October 2, 2009

Why Jews Would Make Great Zombies (Top 10 Reasons)



Zombieland,” a post-apocalyptic zombie comedy written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick and directed by Ruben Fleischer is out today, surprise cameo (which Variety spoiled) and all. Starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg (”Adventureland”), America’s answer to “Shaun of the Dead” has won over critics and it’s inspired GeekHeeb to consider the…

Top 10 Reasons Why Jews Would Make Great Zombies

10. Brains can’t be half as bad as beet-jellied gefilte fish.

9. Deathly moaning made more jaunty with a nigun.

8. Jewish community already rife with soulless animated creatures who have insatiable appetites—lawyers.

7. Torah walk + foot drag—the perfect zombie shlep.

6. Chraiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.

5. Attacking a Jewish zombie = hate crime. Thanks ADL!

4. Returning from the dead saves relatives days sitting shiva.

3. None of that rank embalming fluid smell.

2. Unlike a golem, you’re your own boss.

1. Lose a body part? Been there, done that. (guys only)

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