September 21, 2009 | 5:08 pm

It’s raining falafel in Israel

Posted by Adam Wills

Follow me on

Sony’s 3D animated comedy “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” was No. 1 this weekend ($30.1 million), raining out the much-hyped “Jennifer’s Body,” which scared up only $6.8 million. But for those in Israel who went to see “Meatballs,” it was missing one critical element: meatballs (What War Zone, courtesy of i09):

If you like meatballs, however, you might want to catch it in the States because you’ll be getting a slightly different delicacy served here.

“Rain of Falafel,” anyone?

Oh, come ON. Don’t even pretend like there are no meatballs in this country. I’ve SEEN them. Sure, they were served with chumus but…

September 17, 2009 | 8:15 pm

Ahoy Vey, Matey!

Posted by Adam Wills

Mogen David Pirate necklace available at moderntribe.com.

Avast! Grab some grog, and hoist the colors. It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day! And this year it falls on Rosh Hashanah!

My 2006 Talk Like a Pirate Day interview with Edward Kritzler, author of “Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean” (Doubleday, 2008), fast became one of The Jewish Journal’s most popular stories online. Given the tie-in with Rosh Hashanah, the topic this year was a no-brainer ... but Journal contributor Paul Kujawsky beat me to the punch! Arrrrrrr!

Ahoy Vey, Matey!
by Paul Kujawsky

On Saturday, Sept.19, people all over the world will celebrate a special holiday—a holiday beloved everywhere, full of deepest meaning.

I refer, of course, to International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Created in 1995 by two guys, Cap’n Slappy (Mark Summers) and Ol’ Chumbucket (John Baur), International Talk Like a Pirate Day emerged from near-total obscurity when humorist Dave Barry wrote a 2002 column touting the holiday. Since then, it’s taken off like wild cannon fire.

Sept. 19, 2009, is also the 1 Tishrei 5770. This will be the first time in history that International Talk Like a Pirate Day falls on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Thus, the insistent question: How to integrate the observance of these two important holidays?

I wrote to the Southern California Board of Rabbis, asking for guidance. Inexplicably – unbelievably—they never responded. Unfortunately, neither of the International Talk Like a Pirate Day organizers is Jewish. So we’re on our own.

Start with your clothes—that sets the tone for the day. Instead of your usual tallit, you can take a Jolly Roger (the black flag with grinning skull and crossbones) and attach tzitizt to each of the four corners. Voila, you’re swashbuckling now!

Your kippah can also be adorned with the skull and crossbones, or, better yet, replace your shtreiml with a three-cornered hat. A hook or a peg leg is a nice touch. Only wear a single earring (both for men and women). And there should be a parrot on your shoulder. (If it’s dead parrot you’re veering into Monty Python territory, and things will be weird enough for you anyway.)

Now you’re ready to start talking like a pirate. The basic unit of pirate talk, the urtext of piratish, is “Aarrgh!” Throw that around liberally. Rather than “amen,” try “aarrgh-men.” But “L’Shana Tova Tikatevu—aarrgh!” might seem a bit forced; try “Ahoy Vey, Matey!” instead.

The cantor plays a crucial role on Rosh Hashana/Talk Like a Pirate Day. Piratical music should infuse the nusach of the day, and creativity is called for. “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life For Me)” is good for “Adon Olam” (but then, what isn’t?). Not everyone realizes that “A Muppet’s Treasure Island” has some great tunes. And of course, you can always draw from “Di Yam Gazlonim”—“Pirates of Penzance” in Yiddish (“I am the very model of the modern Jew from Hollywood…”).

The rabbi’s drash is the highpoint of the day. But if you fear that your rabbi can’t rise to the occasion, fear not: Your average rabbi can write a sermon on any topic. There are bunches of pirate stories in the Talmud—these can be twisted into lessons about judgment, kingship, repentance and that sort of thing with minimal effort by the practiced rabbinical imagination. Mentioning Bernard Madoff isn’t obligatory, though it couldn’t hurt.

(By the way, those doubters and scoffers who frown on mixing piratism and Judaism should take a peek at Edward Kritzler’s “Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean.” Perhaps Jewish piracy doesn’t have the longest or most glorious history, but we’ll take what we can get.)

Yes, this year on Sept. 19, Jews are doubly blessed. If everyone gets into the spirit of the day with proper pirattitude, no one will have to walk the plank.

Paul Kujawsky writes on the Middle East for Examiner.com.

4 Comments — Leave your comment

September 14, 2009 | 4:01 pm

Rachel Weisz attached to project by ‘Jennifer’s Body’ director

Posted by Adam Wills

Rachel Weisz, GeekHeeb’s favorite Egyptologist, will be subjected to Cronenberg-style body delight horror in the next project by “Jennifer’s Body” director Karyn Kusama, according to an interview with i09:

io9: What’s next for after Jennifer’s Body - will you stay in the supernatural, horror or genre realm?

KK: There’s a screenplay I wrote a while ago with a partner that has a sort of element of horror, although I would call it a psychological horror in the David Cronenberg tradition, that I’m tying to get made.

io9: How are you influenced by David Cronenberg?

KK: He’s a very important filmmaker to me. I’ve watched a lot of his movies with a lot of admiration. I feel like he’s somebody who early in his career found ways to marry concepts of horror and certainly elements of gore, but those elements had some sort of deeper meaning, beyond the surface of the movie.

io9: And you’re applying that to your screenplay inspired by him? Can you talk about that at all?

KK: It definitely does fall into sort of a body horror movie that deals very, very specifically with our concept of gender. I can’t really talk to you specifically about it other than to say that Rachel Weisz is attached to the film.

io9: Rachel Weisz and gender issues - I’m excited!

KK: Me too actually. Let’s hope that some day it finally gets some money.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

September 14, 2009 | 2:13 pm

ScarJo complains home cluttered with comics

Posted by Adam Wills

Scarlett Johansson, who plays Russian super spy Black Widow in “Iron Man 2,” says her home is being overrun with comic books because of all the research she and hubby Ryan Reynolds, who played Deadpool in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” have done for their roles. And while this sounds like a dream come true for most fanboys, ScarJo says it’s enough, Contact Music reported:

“There is a lot of superhero stuff going on for us at the moment. We have quite a few stacks of comic books. We’re in different universes but it’s fun to get into that whole world together even if there is quite a stack of comic books taking up space!”

Although Scarlett wants to dump the comics, the 24-year-old blonde star is keen to reprise her role for another Marvel comic book adaptation.

She recently said: “The Black Widow has many different incarnations and different storylines so I’m hoping she will be able to continue in that way. I’m hoping that if the fans like the character and support the character, we’ll see her again.”

Ryan is already in talks to have his own spin-off movie - based around Deadpool, a disfigured and mentally unstable mutant mercenary.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

September 8, 2009 | 5:57 pm

Nimoy retiring Spock ears?

Posted by Adam Wills

William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy at DragonCon 2009. Photo by Derek Deweese | dwrd.com/Geeks of Doom

Leonard Nimoy told fans at a DragonCon panel that he will not return as Elder Spock in the sequel to J.J. Abrams’ 2009 “Star Trek,” Geeks of Doom reported:

“There are no plans for me to return for the second movie,” he said in response to a question asked by an attendee.

William Shatner, who has been absence from the convention scene for the past few years, joined Nimoy on stage for a discussion that began with a playful exchange about why Shatner wasn’t featured in the new movie.

Shatner admitted he’s never seen the movie, but not because of any sort of grudge.

“I think the Spock character is very well established as portrayed by Zachary Quinto. And I think if you saw the movie Bill, you’d say the same of Chris Pine,” Nimoy said.

After a long pause from Shatner, he replied with the classic Shatner-esque: “…Bullshit” — causing the audience to erupt in laughter and softening the blow that Nimoy would no longer be a part of the universe he helped create.

“I ain’t seen the movie ya’ll,” Shatner quipped back in his best Southern accent.

0 Comments — Leave your comment