June 28, 2010 | 9:26 am

Forever Now

Posted by Emily Stern

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I want to dwell in your forever,
forever.
forever,
for now
is your forever.

For Jamie and Nico
June 27, 2010

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June 20, 2010 | 7:50 am

Act 3: of One.

Posted by Emily Stern

ACT 3:
HALACH: AL ERETZ KEDEM,
              THIS IS BIGGER
              THAN SOMETHING
              YOU CANNOT HAVE.
              THE SPIRIT OF
              THIS LAND
              GIVES HER
              DISSERTATION
              ON THE
              PHILOSOPHY OF
              HOPE.
LEAH:      ALL I WANT
              IS MY
              COURSEWORK
              DESIGNED
              BY THE ONE
              FOR MY
              HIGHEST
              GROWTH.
HALACH: SHE HAS LEARNED
              TO TRUST
              THE SEEDS.
              AND FROM
              THAT ALL
              MY GRAVITY
              PULLS THE EARTH
              IN LOVE
              ALL THE PARTS
              THAT ARE
              BUOYANT
              LET “LETS GO” BE.
LEAH:     I WOULD LIKE
              THE WORLD
              TO JUST
              BE ALIVE,
            TO BE LIKE . . . 
JACOB:    GATHER STONES
              ALL AROUND.
            WE PARTOOK,
                MADE A MOUND
    THE FLOWERS
                    TOLD STORIES
      TO MY PORES.
                    I STORED THEM
                  ON OUR TRAVELS
AND WHEN OFF
                THE ROAD, I TOLD
                THE BIRDS.
AND EVERYTHING
                IS BUZZING WITH
                ALIVENESS.
SO MUST I BE TOO?
LEAH: MAY HASHEM WALK
                BETWEEN YOU AND ME
WHEN WE’RE OUT
                OF EACH OTHER’S SIGHT.
I’D LIKE TO BE FEELING THIS,
                JUST AS I’M FEELING THIS
SO IT MUST BE ALL RIGHT.
IF I LIKE WHAT I AM
AND I SEE YOU IN ME.
                I LIKE WHAT YOU ARE.
I LIKE WHAT I SEE.
                IF I AM WHAT I AM
AND IT’S ALL MEANT TO BE,
I WELCOME FOREVER,
                THE WHOLE WORLD
HOWEVER, JUST AS
                SHE COMES TO ME.
JACOB: WITHOUT CHANGING THIS EXPRESSION
TO BE MORE LIKE THE WAY
                I’VE KNOWN HER
WHAT IS OUR CONNECTION
WITHOUT GETTING ANY CLOSER?
LEAH: I DO NOT ANSWER.
                I DO NOT CHANGE MY FACE.
I DO NOT SPEAK A WORD.
                YOU KNOW
                I HAVE HEARD.
                AND OUR LOVE
                GREW DEEPER
WIDER, FULLER, TALLER, HIGHER
                BUT JUST TO KNOW—
I BECAME THE KIND OF TREE
WHO HAD A CLOUD ON TOP
INSTEAD OF LEAVES,
                DOWN IN THE FACE OF CAN I ?
I HAVE BORNE OUT MY SOUL
                BEFORE THE WORLD.

HALACH:       DIDN’T YOU HAVE FAITH
                EVERY STEP OF THE WAY?

*********

The matriarchs and pratriarchs are buried together, albeit Rachel. Says Jacob, “I am to be gathered unto my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field.” (Gen.49:29) “There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife. There they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife.  and there I buried Leah.” (Gen. 49:31, JPS translation) However he speaks of Rachel, “and i buried her there on the road to Ephrath” (Gen. 48:7) Therefore, In this play, HALACH, is a representation of RACHEL, as well as the walk or journey of the nations. (aka The Seeds.)

This is a poetic exploration
told in 3 acts
of contraction and expansion,
searching and questioning,
praying, of breaking,
being on the land as a person of faith,
this seeing of the stars in the sky,
the seeds in the ground,
the glass that breaks at weddings,
The tablets that shatter in the sand
The birth that exists here,
and most of all hope. 
It is told through our matriarchs and partriarchs
to show the continuation of our lineage
interwoven with the living Torah of guidance.

 

 

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June 13, 2010 | 7:23 pm

ACT 2: of Becoming One

Posted by Emily Stern

ACT 2

HALACH:		AND ISAAC SAID ,
ISAAC:		I FEEL SUCH LOVE HERE.
REBECCA:		WHO IS THAT MAN WALKING IN THE FIELD TOWARDS US? WHO IS THIS STRANGER STARING BACK AT ME? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? WHO IS THIS I SEE? A STRANGER HERE TO CHANGE ME, A MESSENGER FROM GD. WHO IS THIS STRANGER AND HOW COULD IT BE THAT THIS COMPLETE STRANGER’S NO STRANGER TO ME? PLEASE GD LET ME ONLY SPEAK TRUE THINGS. THERE IS SO MUCH TO TELL.
ISAAC:		INNUMERABLE ONE, IS IT ALL OR NOTHING?
REBECCA:		HE WERE A LAUGH WRITTEN OUT LONG HAND.
ISAAC:		I FELT MY WHOLE BODY BURST. ARE WE GENERATING A LIGHT THAT FEELS LIKE A CANDLE WRAPPED IN YELLOW AND BLUE?
REBECCA:		HOW CAN YOU LOVE A FLAVOR JUST ONE FLAVOR SO DEEPLY SO PURELY SO TRUE? HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME? AND LOVE HOW I LOVE YOU? AND HOW CAN YOU SAVOR THIS MOMENT SO DEEPLY, AND GIVE ALL THE LOVE THAT YOU DO? DO YOU ALL KNOW THAT THIS A JOKE A PRACTICAL JOKE? I’VE STOPPED HUMORING YOU. HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME OR LOVE ME OR LOVE ME OR LOVE ME THE WAY THAT YOU DO?
ISAAC:		AND IT’S AN URGENT MATTER BEING HERE WITH YOU. DOING EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE MEANT TO BE DOING.
REBECCA:		I AM AFRAID I AM REALLY MYSELF. IF THERE IS A PART I’M PLAYING….
ISAAC:		IF LOVE WERE TO OPEN, TO FULLY OPEN . . .
REBECCA:		THERE’S NO WHERE TO THE PERFECT LOVE, AND THE ONLY WHERE TO DO IS UP… GO TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN.
ISAAC:		YOUR PRESENCE HAS AWAKENED A LEVEL OF MY PSYCHIC SOUL NEVER BEFORE SPOKEN TO DIRECTLY. YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE, YOU LOOK ME IN THE HEART.
HALACH:		THEY ARE FACING THE SUN. THEY SAY THIS IS PRETTY, BUT WHAT IS LOVE? THEY ASK TO BE TAUGHT WHAT SONG IS BY BEING SUNG.
ISAAC:		KALLAH KALLAH KALLAH, SISTER LISTENER TEACHER FRIEND, DANCE AND DANCE TILL THERE’S NO END, TASTING SWEETEST HONEY WITH YOUR TOE IN PROMISING YOUR HAND.
REBECCA:		IF LOVE WERE TO OPEN, TO FULLY OPEN, I’D SAY I HOPE I MADE NO ASSUMPTIONS OF ONE AND ONENESS,
HALACH:		AND THEY WILL JOIN THEIR HANDS AND THEN THEY BOTH WILL TURN THEIR HEADS AND LOOK INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES.
ISAAC:		V’ZOT HAMITZVAH HACHooKeem v’hameshpateem ASHER TSEEVA YA. ELOHEYCHEM L’LAMAAD ETCHEM LA’ASOT B’ARETZ ASHER ATEM OVREEM SHMA L’REESHTAH: L’MAAN TEERA ET YA ELOHECHA TO KEEP WITH ALL OF HIS MITZVOT THAT I COMMAND YOU. THAT YOUR SON AND THE SON OF YOUR SON ALL DAYS OF YOUR LIFE SO THAT YOUR DAYS MAY BE LENGTHENED.
REBECCA:		WALK BEFORE ME, AND I MAY LEARN TO FLY. I DANCE TILL THERE’S NO END IN THE PROMISE OF MY HAND. OF WATERY STONES.  (Her torah) WHAT IS HERE IS WHOLE AND WIDE, LET US CHANGE EACH OTHER’S LIVES.
HALACH:		AND HE SAID I FELT SUCH LOVE HERE TRUST COME TO WHISPER—- KALLAH IMAGINE THIS MOMENT JUST SPIRALS OF LIGHT NOW ARE THE WILLOWS. IT RAINED LAST NIGHT, A CAMP IN THE KIND OF KINGDOM WHERE SHE BROKE HIM REMEMBRANCE. WATERS FROM THE MOST HIGH HAVE FULL OF GROUND AND LOVE
REBECCA:		LAMPS OF FOLDED TABLETS. THAT THE GROUND REMEMBERS,
HALACH:		AND THEN THE GROUND COMES TO MEET THEM. THE FLOWERS TOLD L’DOR V. DOR
ABRAHAM:		JOKSHAN MEDAN MIDIAN ISHBAK AND SHUAH.
ISAAC:		I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING FROM GD. I ONLY WANT TO SEE WHAT SHE (REBECCA) WANTS. DO YOU WANT TO GIVE MY SOMETHING THAT I AM TO RECEIVE? DO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME? IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO GIVE ME, IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY, IF THERE SIMPLY IS SOMETHING TO UNTANGLE IN MY MIND, MY SOUL, IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRUST ME WITH, TRUST ME WITH THE WIDTH OF THIS LAND.
HALACH:		(whispered) THE FLOWERS TOLD THE STORIES OF YOUR POEMS.
REBECCA:		EACH A LITTLE PIECE INSIDE THE OTHER, JOKSHAN BEGOT SHEBA AND DEDAN THROUGH GLASS.
ISAAC:		A TRANSLATION OF PRESENCE OFFERED ME A LANGUAGE
REBECCA:		THAT SEEMS TO TRANSLATE TO A FACE THAT MOVES. AND IS MOVING ME. HE SAID RISE AND I SAID COME DOWN. I KNOW THE PLACE YOU’RE LIVING IN WHEN IT WAS SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT BECAUSE LIGHT WAS NEVER FIRE THAT WAS JUST THE MOVEMENT. WHAT I WANTED TO DO NOW. CHANGE THE NATURE OF THE MOMENT. WITH YOU.
ISAAC:		MAYBE LIKE A HAND AS YOU OFFERED ME A LANGUAGE. ONE STEP AND A TIME . ASSHURIM LETUSHIM LE’UMMIM MIDIAN EPHAH EPHER ENOCH ABIDA ELDAAH.

**********
ACT 1 spins around ABRAHAM and SARAH as they enter a new transient and transcendent land amidst the stars.  This scene expresses the process of awakening and transcendent nature of asking the question who am i? The characters in the play locate themselves within the question and the quest. They are wrestling with their divine spirit.“pray tell me your name. but he said “why do you ask my name?” (Gen. 23:30)

We move to Act 2, the coming together of ISAAC and REBECCA in as they begin to walk through life as a couple. Symbolically expressed language and imagry of commitment, marriage, childbirth, and the receiving of Torah. I have tried to equate the breaking of tablets to a ground memory, ancestral memory, or bodily memory within all life.  Apology for the heterosexuality of it all, hopefully wavering in the multiplicity therein.

This is a poetic exploration
told in 3 acts
of contraction and expansion,
searching and questioning,
praying, of breaking,
being on the land as a person of faith,
this seeing of the stars in the sky,
the seeds in the ground,
the glass that breaks at weddings,
The tablets that shatter in the sand
The birth that exists here,
and most of all hope. 
It is told through our matriarchs and partriarchs
to show the continuation of our lineage
interwoven with the living Torah of guidance.

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June 12, 2010 | 11:18 pm

Songbirds

Posted by Emily Stern

The birds all have
a bible, birds choose,
birds believe, birds
eating for treats, trusting in treaties
in their hearts they know their truest nature, in their hearts there is a song
and the hawk and the raven learn
they are what they are

though all of creation
doesn’t get why they must be in a world of black and white—
where the “other” may be right, when
the only “other” that I know
is the soul inside of me. 
This is right and that is wrong,
but when your soul sings,

I love that song.

i wish that I could show you that I know you. I wish my wisdom were a book you liked to read. How I hoped you’d tell me something truer, how i hoped that you’d reveal yourself to me
But you come to me and tell me you are “Guilty.”

And I say
“Oh, my lovely friend,
is that your name?”

“Let me introduce myself,
I’m ‘Sorry.’ It’s nice to met you,
but I also am ‘To Blame.” I want to enter your sanctuary
with a heart that’s pure
Just because the truth has always been
here, doesn’t mean that we know her.
First I had to meet my own identity
by identifying with
what’s outside of me. There we play by rules of weak and strong,
but when the soul sings, I love that song.

at one time I was the one she listened to in vain and said
“had i made the better choices, maybe we would be the same…”
and the eagle soars above my head, “Won’t you take control instead?”
and let it all come back to me, and bring branches from an olive tree to show us there may be a chance we can believe in peace.

that someday i may hear the words the birds sing,
and smile at how fear can sound so pretty
to our ears, Because our fears won’t be fears
but tiny seeds that we can hear.

And the birds on the street won’t call me traitor
‘cause maybe this is who i have been all along.
I’d rather say it now than say it later
because when my soul sings
I love that song.

I know we’re all trying in our very own way,
and I know everyone is saying
exactly what they’re meant to say,
and suddenly the world is getting softer
we’ve gone up the hill
to fetch a pail of water, 
we have fallen down and
we’ve broken our crowns,
but i look at you cause
after comes the laughter.
Don’t you see my branches are translucent
and delicate as the gift of love?
You may think the wings we wear are useless
‘till they show us that below is as above.
i tried to put words on pure potential
and pure potential is the place I miss
within a truth is anything can happen,
in family with all the songs that live.

posted first via Facebook January 12, 2009
Emily Stern

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May 18, 2010 | 7:05 pm

ACT 1: of a Three Part Play of Becoming One.

Posted by Emily Stern

ACT 1:
  HALACH:  SARAH SAYS “i see a star”

              ABRAHAM SAYS “ME TOO!”

              AND SHE SAID “THE SUN’S NOT FAR!”

              AND HE SAID “GO AHEAD!”

              THEY ARE LEADING THE WAY OF LOVE.

              WHO ARE YOU? SAYS THE MOUNTAIN

  SARAH:  WHO I HAVE BE.   

  ABRAM:  WHAT HAVE MY LEGS BEEN LEARNING ALL MY LIFE?

              ALL THE PLACES I’VE BEEN WALKING…

              WHAT HAVE BE BEEN?

          THEY’LL TELL ME.

  HALACH:  WHO ARE YOU? SAYS THE FOUNTAIN.

  ABRAM:  WHO AM I? SAYS THE WHO.   

  SARAH:  “WHO ARE YOU?” SPEAKS FOREVER,

  ABRAM:  Who I am HAS BEEN TRUE. 

  HALACH:  “HOW ARE YOU?” SAYS THE MOUNTAIN

  SARAH:  “who am i?” SAYS THE ME        

  ABRAM:  WHO I AM SPEAKS FOR EVER.

              YOU ARE WHO SPEAKS FOREVER      

            FOREVER HAVE BEEN,  BE.

              THIS MOUNTAIN WILL NOT TELL HER NAME.

              SHE SAYS *I* WON’T BELIEVE HER

              WHEN THAT’S THE THING THAT’S CHANGED!

  SARAH:    THERE’S A WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE EVERY SECOND . . .

  ABRAM:  IF THERE IS A PART I’M PLAYING,

              TAKE THIS PART AND PASS HER ON.

            TEACH ME WHO IT IS WHO’S GOING

              WHERE YOU TELL ME I BELONG. 

  HALACH:  SHE SAYS YOU ARE.

              AND THEY WILL JOIN HANDS

              AND THIS WILL MAKE THEM FLY,

          AND THEY WILL BOTH TURN HEADS,

            AND SHE SAID

    SARAH:  I SEE A STAR.

  HALACH:  WHO AM I? SAYS THE GROUND.

  (Sarah still looking at Avram)

  SARAH:  MI ANI? SAYS THE WHO.

  ABRAM :  WHO ARE YOU? SPEAKS FOREVER.

  SARAH:  I AM WHO HAS BEEN TRUE

  ISAAC:  IF THERE IS A PART I’M PLAYING,

              TAKE THIS PART AND PASS HER ON.

            TELL ME WHO IT IS WHO’S GOING

              WHERE YOU TELL ME I BELONG.

              HOW DARE YOU SAY NOT RIGHT NOW?

            HOW DARE YOU BRING TIME INTO THIS!

              TELL ME WHO I AM! WHO I MUST BE!

  HALACH:  WHO ARE YOU? SAYS THE FOUNTAIN.

  ISAAC:    WHO I AM SAYS THE ME.

  HALACH:  WHO ARE YOU SPEAKS FOREVER,

              WHO IS? 

  ISAAC:      I AM BE.

  HALACH:  HOW ARE YOU? SAYS THE MOUNTAIN.

  SARAH:  MI ATA? SAYS THE ME.

  HALACH:  WHAT ARE YOU? SAYS THE GROUND.

  ABRAM:  WHO IS HAS BEEN BE.

              WHAT HAVE MY LEGS BEEN LEARNING ALL MY LIFE?

              ALL THE PLACES I’VE BEEN WALKING…

              WHAT HAVE BE BEEN?

          THEY’LL TELL ME WHEN . . .

  SARAH:  IT’S TIME.

          Mi ata? SAYS THE ME.

            WHO AM I? SPEAKS FOREVER.

            WHO I AM HAS BEEN BE .

  LEAH:  YOU ARE WHO THE YOU IS SPEAKING.

              I THE YOU THAT HEARS THE WHO,

  SARAH:  WHO ARE YOU IF YOU ARE SPEAKING?

              WHO I AM IS- IF THERE IS A PART I’M PLAYING,

              TAKE THIS PART AND PASS HER ON.

              TEACH ME WHO IT IS WHO’S GOING

              WHERE YOU TELL ME I BELONG.

  LEAH:  WHO AM I ? IS MY PRAYER

              AND MY PURPOSE IS MY PRAYER.

                PRAYER OF COURSE, NO GREATER BLESSING

              HAVE I EVER UTTERED HERE.

  SARAH:  WHO ARE I THAT YOU MAY SPEAK ME?

  LEAH:    WHO IS ALL MY PRAYER OF PLACE.

  SARAH:  WHO IS THE NAME I’M SAYING?

  LEAH:    WHO ARE YOU? I SAY IN PRAYER

              THAT I MAY BLESS THE YOU THAT’S HERE.

  ABRAM:  WHAT HAVE MY LEGS BEEN LEARNING ALL MY LIFE?

  HALACH:  THEY ARE LEADING THE WAY OF LOVE.

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May 18, 2010 | 1:19 am

water

Posted by Emily Stern

1. am
thirsty
for you
2. come here.
2. be full of yourself.

Tell me who 1. am!
But you will not define me.
You say how can 1. define
A river
That is new in every moment.
She can only be known by the rock who sits within her, or by her side
choosing to be worn by her. 
Effected by her many parts
Shaped and built by that which flows
Find the rock,
And you will 
Know the river
Because only the river knows what the rock once was. 

1. told you 1. was held by love.

 

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February 5, 2010 | 11:54 am

beloved

Posted by Emily Stern

Beloved
I have been calling You
My Beloved. 
And finally, one day, 
I recognized myself
As Your beloved. 
And on that day
You whispered,
“so….
Be Loved.”

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January 29, 2010 | 5:51 pm

Love Is You/EXODUS

Posted by Emily Stern

The Journey from Egypt was on time.
when Isaac was Carrier of his whole people in a smile
that came from nowhere. When he walked, just feeling the Light from being.
and I imagine two men walking.

One asking questions in the other’s head.  Do you hear my questions like laughter?
My knowing you, may it be called Faith. This is Father-Son bonding—binding—
questions- when you are the Sun of Abraham-

And we would have let the switch happen sooner: if we weren’t distracting each other with sunlight,
Tickling the angel who was holding up the head of the one with smile, saying made you look, make me look to the angels who were holding the head of the ram.
while we held the hand of him.

You cannot split this consciousness. while your head is facing the somewhere. not quite attentive-
paying attention to the journey, and at the same time looking straight at the Sun. That blinds the eyes,
birds overhead, and not being burned. While the heard is water bring up from over you waves.
of heart——this here too. at this moment.

And this expanse is Isaac. Still landing here. tefillin, mezuzah, it’s the lesson on Isaac. Keep your sun close and your heart close. Keep the words of love in your hand, keeping the subtlety of creation hidden, thinking it were a big bang, when it was really quiet, like the shift in consciousness the one that integrates the one that interface interlaced the one is Isaac.  Oh, Sarah held her hand of her’s, and the water! and the sun, and the salt and said let there be light! and sarah held the hand of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of the staff, of the string, of the womb, of the women, of the dancing! of the water, and gentleness came gently.

and we have broken in freedom. the combination. the master held my hand and master held the hand of Sarah. and master made my hand and master broke the way for dancing and for mitzvot, and for land, and master broke the laugh of water, laugh of waiting, laugh of structure, and laugh of child crying for the end to be over. for this moment to be over as the world begins to speak song of ever being lover song of song . . . “I never knew I was one with you who breathes of freedom who believes of love. I know it’s you who believes in truth who believes in friendship who believes in us widened like temples with vines outside who forgo outside when the longing to sings and one side is one side a one sided sever simple so simple to every sun renders surrender to loving the One- I the many of love.” Speaking for all golden calves and forms wanting to be pure. I never knew i was one of you whose . . .  “What would it be, what would it be like, and i am one holding myself, who says this? who wants? it? under the gates the plants are growing, a timeless way to go about going, a sure to be taste of reading and knowing the one is holding herself. I am where i am. what couldn’t this be? holding myself like i’m the one- the one you are. What would it be what would it be like to Open to You as if the gates were mine?”

walking along walking along walking
bushes, i have found you in the cities that have frowned you in the sorrow. in the sound of who were are. clown.
awakening so far. so far. so far…
aware.

Go wherever your home is he said and my home was not with him. Guide The Glove.
My mother was golden haired
crying in the corner
of a dark childhood bedroom
closet or other and whimpered by whispered
things she called sad.
her light was alive and golden
a crack very other than blood above her head, open hidden open door.
other than this world is my.
my boyfriend was my home and he said Come Home
and that meant I had to leave him. My home was not with him.
my home is neither here or where.
did you ever know that love could love?
and make my love new.
you, my Love, create my love.
Home is my love.
i grew up in a gardened house, he was king of under anything
who never took things too literally. This is the heart of Pharoh simply we broke up. His mentioning conducive to my lease.
its like anything that’s split.
really. gated or something or other be dancing with the gardeners
but i always thought my mother was dancing with the gardener.
heal the Purim in my liturgy.

and we have broken in freedom. the land of the bastard. master held the hand of sarah. and master broke the laugh of structure. laughter broke the hand of water. and laughter spoke the hand of soldier who are crying for the end of the over for this moment. to be over as the world begins to speak speak speak song of ever being lover song of song of clover clever. i never knew i was free. i never knew i was one of you whose seeds were made to glow. wide along temples like glimpses outside that forget they are outside when they are many of us. open to you as if the gates were mine. what would it be, what would it be like, to release this love?

fare yee well, my dying drowned fear. old you are and sick so far you fall away from this you are. oh, love i let you in love. love of love. love can love is lovers can love i let you go in love to bring me home and make love create love love can love and has was come the blessing that arises from being in the earth is that the earth can open and can swim and can be seen under the part of think that is not bound to love in you. love is you. loving you.  because our dance was our land.

we were all on time to the dance, whose parents met outside of convenience stores. my grandmother and grandfather spoke of shoes with holes on one side that were split open. open to this bound dance. on mandolin on sacred story.

I want to Thank
and Thank and Thank You.
You know way more that I ever could
the reasons that my gratitude decides to show her face
in this moment, and for this
I give thanks.

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