January 29, 2010 | 3:51 pm

Love Is You

Posted by Emily Stern

photo by emily stern; taken on simchat torah 2008 in santa monica, california

The Journey from Egypt was on time.
when Isaac was Carrier of his whole people in a smile
that came from nowhere. When he walked, just feeling the Light from being.
and I imagine two men walking.

One asking questions in the other’s head.  Do you hear my questions like laughter?
My knowing you, may it be called Faith. This is Father-Son bonding—binding—
questions- when you are the Sun of Abraham-

And we would have let the switch happen sooner: if we weren’t distracting each other with sunlight,
Tickling the angel who was holding up the head of the one with smile, saying made you look, make me look to the angels who were holding the head of the ram.
while we held the hand of him.

You cannot split this consciousness. while your head is facing the somewhere. not quite attentive-
paying attention to the journey, and at the same time looking straight at the Sun. That blinds the eyes,
birds overhead, and not being burned. While the heard is water bring up from over you waves.
of heart——this here too. at this moment.

And this expanse is Isaac. Still landing here. tefillin, mezuzah, it’s the lesson on Isaac. Keep your sun close and your heart close. Keep the words of my love in your hand, keeping the subtlety of creation hidden, thinking it were a big bang, when it was really quiet, like the shift in consciousness the one that integrates the one that interface interlaced the one is Isaac.  Oh, Sarah held her hand of her’s, and the water, and the sun! and the salt! and said let there be light! and sarah held the hand of the nation of Israel! of the tribe of the staff! of the star of the womb, of the women, of the dancing! of the water, and gentleness came gently.

and we have broken in freedom. the combination. the master held my hand and master held the hand of Sarah. and master made my hand and master broke the way for dancing and for mitzvot, and for land, and master broke the laugh of water, laugh of waiting, laugh of structure, and laugh of child crying for the end to be over. for this moment to be over as the world begins to speak song of ever being lover song of song . . . “I never knew I was one with you who breathes of freedom who believes of love. I know it’s you who believes in truth who believes in friendship who believes in us widened like temples with vines outside who forgo outside when the longing to sings and one side is one side a one sided sever simple so simple to every sun renders surrender to loving the One- I the many of love.” Speaking for all golden calves and forms wanting to be pure. I never knew i was one of you whose . . .  “What would it be, what would it be like, and i am one holding myself, who says this? who wants? it? under the gates the plants are growing, a timeless way to go about going, a sure to be taste of reading and knowing the one is holding herself. I am where i am. what couldn’t this be? holding myself like i’m the one- the one you are. What would it be what would it be like to Open to You as if the gates were mine?”

walking along walking along walking
bushes, i have found you in the cities that have frowned you in the sorrow. in the sound of who were are. clown.
awakening so far. so far. so far…
aware.

Go wherever your home is he said and my home was not with him. Guide The Glove.
My mother was golden haired
crying in the corner
of a dark childhood bedroom
closet or other and whimpered by whispered
things she called sad.
her light was alive and golden
a crack very other than blood above her head, open hidden open door.
other than this world is my.
my boyfriend was my home and he said Come Home
and that meant I had to leave him. My home was not with him.
my home is neither here or where.
did you ever know that love could love?
and make my love new.
you, my Love, create my love.
Home is my love.
i grew up in a gardened house, he was king of under anything
who never took things too literally. This is the heart of Pharoh simply we broke up. His mentioning conducive to my lease.
its like anything that’s split.
really. gated or something or other be dancing with the gardeners
but i always thought my mother was dancing with the gardener.
heal the Purim in my liturgy.

and we have broken in freedom. the land of the bastard. master held the hand of sarah. and master broke the laugh of structure. laughter broke the hand of water. and laughter spoke the hand of soldier who are crying for the end of the over for this moment. to be over as the world begins to speak speak speak song of ever being lover song of song of clover clever. i never knew i was free. i never knew i was one of you whose seeds were made to glow. wide along temples like glimpses outside that forget they are outside when they are many of us. open to you as if the gates were mine. what would it be, what would it be like, to release this love?

fare yee well, my dying drowned fear. old you are and sick so far you fall away from this you are. oh, love i let you in love. love of love. love can love is lovers can love i let you go in love to bring me home and make love create love love can love and has was come the blessing that arises from being in the earth is that the earth can open and can swim and can be seen to see ifs to look behind your back and see the angel that has held your hand and placed a ram under the part of think that is not bound to love in you. love is you. loving you.  because our dance was our land.

we were all on time to the dance, whose parents met outside of convenience stores. my grandmother and grandfather spoke of shoes with holes on one side that were split open. open to this bound dance. on mandolin on sacred story.

I want to Thank
and Thank and Thank You.
You know way more that I ever could
the reasons that my gratitude decides to show her face
in this moment, and for this
I give thanks.

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January 7, 2010 | 12:38 am

Transcend dance

Posted by Emily Stern

HAVE YOU HEARD YOUR MUSIC YET?!
may you be grounded in the forest of
being kissed by your own hands and head
blessing blessing
The breath of the endless.
The touch of a nothing.
The heart that is still.
taste of melting,

WE HELP YOU PLAY YOUR PART OF
I HAVE NOTHING TO PLAY. my own heart
gives up, and underneath is the place we are inside.
and there are flowers whose petals transcend their own wombs.

and more light love shines through; she’s singing with light.
and more comes to include the love that is golden; has made
room for your view and yet she transcends what is not yet here
water engraved in her
we are switching names. take hope to a river so she can transform her
to prove faith in nothing- no concept of love
except i keep inviting the you that is here—to make me your home….

I am all empty
so full of what knows you
so we can transcend it by hoping
higher is higher
open by nature
the sweet smell of flowers
their pollen their powers
are ecstatic inviting
their very own selves

are extra inviting to their very own selves
are you surprised that love has to know you and wait for your answer when she comes to tell you that you are their one.

Are you surprised when love comes a knocking to tell you that you are the one who’s inside? and you have transcended your love just through talking through filling her love to
seeing the leaves and notice the light inside of the living
is just like the light inside of the heart.
and all I am outside is all I am inside
and all that’s about me is always without me.

And All I am to you will always allude you if it won’t include you I’ll move you
I’ll find you one day so deep in the forest of songs
that are fingers with rings and melodies too BIG to feel
Just know that they hold you
You know them- they now true.

But what is so known seems to be said.
love is so known, it is seamless yet sown.
within this our home is outside our door
Yet you are inside me, so the truth is come see me
and laugh or come be me.
and pretend you are home.

How deeply is this prayer for peace, she is swollen
and harbors the whole universe.
She would have to love all the way she
spins up her spine I have her my smiles
I give her my love.
My mind is the world spilling from outside
space that is including the white as a cloud
blue as the waters that know all their daughters are mermaids
who do true true I hid in transcendence until I was able to name myself.
that the world is a healer so large that the sounds does not let me see
but I would break into pieces
if i knew the movement or i knew her dance
if i let her move me
i know she would soon see how open our hearts could change
the whole world by bringing her….
wingless as saturdays
that do not wear faces
masks that give back the masks they thought they were given.
vivid

but there’s a real definition that does not remember
the mode to create
of song do not create do not forget enough to make remembrance
if what is
must come down
be herself, be not
I do not know and yet
I want to know
more than what…
all i want to know is what you transcend
To know the what we live in
in the very thing we are
not transcending
that is not a coincidence
we meet inside a transcending you
a me that is hardly faceless
from the inside… I am you. The outside is transcending peace
our place of residence
called home called where we were in the moment of saying not….

lover, be yes to all senses to define the unreal
to enliven the already transcended you.
he who touches whose touch inside me is outside is all the answers you want are transcending the idea that they themselves
are carpets without out clouds.
that hold them the tree branches dangling from a world that knows limits are letting them touch the limitless ocean
who names herself ocean.
to only find limits created don’t finish the wholeness of living you say let me
you know it’s we who
again, thinking that you are inside me
gives the impression of wanting and something we are do not stop and do not change and do not do the same thing ever t touch is you moving me as wild as thought.
as wingless as moon
suspended by seeing
is not believing I understand me lets see if i can
forget to remember that forgetting remembers what you are.
that all form died to forget the memory of magic
was only a name that feels like a promise.
because my love is collected in a jar that is endless
and will someday transcend me
Time was not wasted

But never existed.

I speak of authenticity
that is only a word
it’s not what i said
it’s more what was heard.
more like what you heard.

jump through leaves
just into the leaves
and feel yourselves in waves
washing nothing away.

i am washing nothing clean so that what is seen
can be seen.
see that what is unseen is also felt….
is more real

love is in the house

Inside is outside
and my life is your life and your eyes are your

to see yourself.
and my own is not mine and this is in no time
so timeless that time cannot know herself.

plant your feet in love.

there are no stings attached
there is nothing for
me to attach to.

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December 24, 2009 | 12:50 pm

Brand New

Posted by Emily Stern

Fear
is the bookmark
Holding the place
Of all we are
meant to do

I’ve started to sing
What these pages bring
A sound that is brand new.

The butterfly’s
No longer too shy
To show her patterns divine
I give thanks to the breaks
That told me to wait
And held me till I came alive.

The mother who strokes
my hand sets me free
As I mutter the words,
“I believe that Thee”

enlighten the questions I posed as a child
While I learn about what grace is

For I tread the line between doing just fine
and knowing we all fall on our faces.

I was singing of love before I knew the world
was given a form, or a face, or a shape
and was singing with love with my breath and my pores
before i ever knew the word.

Butterfly, Butterfly, There’s really a you and I and room to speak what we see.

                                        Emily Stern…... April 2007

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December 13, 2009 | 11:39 am

Modestly

Posted by Emily Stern

Touched from inside
I don’t play hard to get, I just am.
- I do not play modest on purpose
cause only intellectually do we exist in form.
- Maybe Gd wants you all to Herself.
- Maybe that’s what it’s all about, and
- You are being modest when you days that this is good.
- How can this love be in the physical? Our souls encased in glass. . . She encased in trust, Our soul encased as us. She can’t be “figured out” the only face to love. The mystical not mystified? Forever I am open. To being touching
me inside.
- and if forgiveness surrounds us, the better to see you with, my dear.  and maybe this has always been my problem: that we pretend it isn’t here. waiting in the WHEN AND WHERE for what has already been shown (told). I’m always Waiting for the perfect question, for the perfect prayer.  Waiting for your permission to let you be there.
your soul is a body forgotten in form, teach me the point of creation. I have no concept of love. To put your left foot in and turn it inside out.  Modesty is not concealed, modestly she is revealed. A tiny little body, a tiny little thought, that everyone is gd. and enough is enough.  You are free. ALWAYS FREE…. to love me. (our soul encased in glass mostly the earth is simply blessed.)
I’m not some intellectually powered machine,
believe me, I do not know how I work.
i have seen all the realms of women
who do not even know of power
Their power is the power to be given.

Why do I do what I do? All the reasons are none. Just let Her
be known. Her name is Sinai. And one lifetime is too small. Let there be all.
Let me know how deeply this has been sanctified.
Forever
Soul, I open.
To being
touched
from inside
We are Mystified. The back of our hearts glowing,
The back of the head: spring. I see so much blue. Like the one of the sky is the one of the open open open open alive in the ocean of you.
I am modest intellectually, only purposefully did I exist in form.
To watch you Ask about the existence of gd
Like I ask about This world:
does This World really exist? Just because she can be seen? she can be heard?
In modesty we have been most revealed, modestly, complete, concealed. In modesty most revered and most misunderstood. Have rules really been made by you? How am I to sing? Not As one Should and certainly not as one thinks! So only intellectually do I exist in form! Endlessly patient, Let us figure it all out. Must our figures rely on facts? I am no longer a child who believes without a body. Thank you for this honor. Too good to not be true. How to see? Only symbolically. In extremes and the balance of song and speech and praise and doubt. There’s something to a melody that loves with all her mind. Forever Soul I am hoping we are touched from deep inside.

(May 2009)

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December 11, 2009 | 12:56 pm

True Come Dream

Posted by Emily Stern

“I BORE YOU ON EAGLE’S WINGS . . .

It is my son’s coat! It is my son’s coat! Ripped apart! It’s torn apart
                                          my son’s dream! and my dream! And we’re awakening!                 

His promise echos: I promise to remind you I will stand upright. And stay upright. I promise through everything, I will stand upright.

You are safe. There is no
anything that can be in the way
of your love. Love is all. I sit in prayer
that becomes your face. And I am taught
by who i thought i was to be who i am
I am born on eagle’s wings.

If there is something to right now
If there were something to sing
I would i would i will i will
let singing be.  If singing is, let singing sing be.
and taken and taken and taking me.

If it is happening, let happening
be. if it happens to be happening
I am bourne on eagle’s wings.

it happens to, happens to be That
asking has happened
thing when a true thing is. if truth will happen
if happening is true if now is now or now is happening,
if you are singing me
if song is happening,
here are eagle’s wings
and you are happening
to let light be.

let you be. then song is happening
like let life be.

if there is something to be right now

let me be
and i am happening
to let light be.

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December 5, 2009 | 9:49 pm

what we are

Posted by Emily Stern

Ideal, hold this idea:
I wonder what we are
it’s effortless to twinkle like a star.
Around me, all the Banshees Dance.
and hide before a response can be given.
but this is what I’d tell them, if they want to listen:
all I want to say is what wants to be said.
all I want to tell, you tell me with yourself,
ours is open to the one
who speaks all i want to see is truly what we are,
and we hide before we can say this name.
All Around the Banshees Dance:
there is absolutely nothing that this could mean.
you are touching me so deeply
it cannot be seen.

but what is truth when I am with you?
Once I had something I could say,
but all I am is wordless essence wondering
yes.  There is absolutely nothing this could be
I am touched by you so freely it can not be seen.

The only thing I can hear is the beauty
that we are loved and just right here we are.
All around the Banshees dance.
what flame is not a flame?
what heart is not meant to belong again?
and all this love is around me
Hides before I can respond
to pretend that I am speaking or seeking would feel wrong
All around the banshees dance
what flame is not a flame?
what heart is not meant to belong again?
I do not have a story
although I told you one.
I just want to be heard before I hear
every single thing is ears
Can you feel the branches dance
if I close your eyes
maybe I will be the one who hides….
If we close my eyes
bless us like a star
always full of wonder
that we are

What Flame is not a flame?
What heart is not meant to be
long again?

e.stern

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November 20, 2009 | 12:07 am

So

Posted by Emily Stern

Dear Soulful Friend,
Use me!

Use the dust of west and east, north and south,
family is blessed be blessed
family is blessed.
and “linked”

family is blessed.
This (your soupful letter) makes thoughts come about this week’s Torah portion. i’ve been looking at this section about esau/jacob birthright
a question comes “what use is it?”
what is the use? what is it to me?  i know the feeling from that place, a question: what is this use? use me, longing
to be used. what it’s use is
is longing to have a use.
what is this use?
to use of this?
and this is the question asked.
before the birthless in esau
becomes the birthless of yaakov.
What is the use of that which cannot be used?
and this place of I, can it
move?

what is the use of anything,
and the birthright was a promise
intended for the one who holds it.
by having that which is.
and so my blessing to you, my love, is this:
that we may know where that place will past tense led me. inside this question is a forgotten answer. remember that place of you. which is a bursting memory, whose only fog is the cloud of g-d. Isaac’s only sight has been for you, he who remains unseen,  he who would never have slept if he had known, has been told for many things i’ve used you for, and there ever is a use.

and father’s answer comes clearly from jacob when he asks him “are you esau,” jacob does not lie, in saying “it is I.” This is the place of birth in daylight. from soul to soul and innermost blessing you. the abundance of life has come from soup, that he may give, his soul to you, and blessing used by one of use, the innermost, holy truth, if ever there’s to be a use, love was told to leave the land,
and this is now the game of trust, for what’s the use if it is used up? esau plays a game of trust. what’s the use of using us once the use has been used up? what’s the use of being used?
and jacob now has seen his truth: even
angels can be moved! and make a lie to move through soup and be disguised
up and down.
always choosing. and never thought That place could move, or look like a boring field man too, or
use a “ladder” like workers do,

but they ask again that they be used. knowing that to ask the use before given has been asked again.

ask again that i may see the place that you make use of me.
where
so intended then is all that is.
the message received was accurate, infinite.
father lost and sight is soup, love is warmth, and blessed are you.just inside of whats the use, lies the heart of blessing given by a father’s flock, yaakov finds his one and only in the field that he forgot was worthy of a single place, especially the kind that faceless is. the one who looks a lot like blessing has been blessed by every nothing.

love finds his field his brother knew, had he asked for soul not soup.
that’s the truth the birthright now. although i have no idea what i want to say to you. it just makes me think of soup and how i would rather love so much more than eat, and yet i am so hungry and broken, and in hunger asking what’s the use of no use, as much as esau what’s the use? of birthright, can i hands that move.
the yearner of the purpose here, bringing life, i miss you, and honor so much your hope and wish, and hope you know perfection, yes, and the place where motion meets the moveless, and the point where heaven meets the earth, and never think they’re separate worlds. and thank you for sharing your thoughts, i am wanting something clearer than this story. i am interested in it, but what is there to say, i mean, jacob gives the blessing in this way. esau gives his blessing away, and i guess that’s like just what it is. if it happens once it can happen again, and women give birth so will she again and she is a woman, so if not now then when? blesses his wife in blessing that son, and blessing himself is everyone.

and jacob now lives the land of blessing in the light from the guilt, from a life of the blessed in the loss of the guilty. is the point what was done, does it matter how it happened? that jacob has received this blessing, does gd come because it’s part of it, or because it’s actually what has always been? is this all what’s meant to be, and can his freedom now be a fallacy, how can this be given a face or given a faceless value? so what’s the use of soup? for never have you used and there ever is a use.

i thank this holy question for using me, and jacob true blessing is that one may see the soul and soup of feeding be the place that moves us as we. the difference between made and used. giving fertilizing getting.
They all knew the part that does not know of you. and also the place of soul, so beyond the named or used. For many things i have been used. ask again that i may see that place that has no use of me.

there’s so much more to say about this. my soup of soup has compounded every thought by soul and truth. and so i welcome that i use nothing but what’s given through, it’s all i’d want, i promise you. i promise you the guilt i feel is the clothing of the want and fear.  in the waiting of the one of real:
is anything really real?and even G-d who comes to yaakov, is it just because of esau, or is it here without a struggle, i wish it were so, and even that to make a wish, to not to see the whole of it. and if Isaac knew the truth would he say “it is not you?” or is that all there ever was. the one and only name of love is awakened by a blessing, so may this womb be filled and healthy, by the soup of mother nature, by the home of you bring your soul, and here is child to be grown. child come, child, home. through whichever means you are, story guide him not too far, sorry is a jealous rage, hunger anger any thing, let not this hunger lest i forget to wonder
what’s the use of this
life?
and also what’s the use, to think that i could know the use?  to think that i could ever know what i am being used for. and to assume that For is any
other than, or more, or plenty.
fortune told where fortune gets me, birthright gotten by way of soup, the same way that it came to you. let it go for what is true, was always knowing . . .
child. bigger than a fallacy, a blessing, or a way to see. bigger than a born into, bigger than a mine and you, bigger than a past of brother, wishing I, or want another. bigger than what nurture be is a land that flows
where mother lives.
where mother is.
where mother are we.
talk about a bigger purpose. mother knows what is worth it.

I am just a little promise inside it too. i do not know whats good or bad, or if i am saying something that’s life armor, but i believe in a bigger purpose something beyond my words and beyond my prayers and it’s the only thing that’s worth it that there’s just a worth of you. not separate from other woman, wish her child all her wisdom, rebecca loved. i wish that i could say what’s true and bridge a gap of what’s unbroken. 
and even that i break a promise that the truth may be the top. to show that every promise promised is much bigger than we thought,

rebecca loved.

family, be blessed and “linked”, family is blessed.

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