Posted by Emily Stern
By Emily Stern
For Alive I Dedicate to You.
If I were to trap you,
and change you and name you,
what could you ever blame me for doing?
How could I want you and make you forever the one I decorate myself with?
When Aaron told the people to bring gold, I think he was being called upon for a great big hoax.
Just as Betzalel received the plans for the Mishkan without going up the mountain with Moshe,
I think Aaron did too. (שמות לב:כד)
Betzalel knew he would build it.
Aaron knew he was to be a Kohain
and when his brother was still upon the mountain, he called
the people of Israel to begin.
Bring all your gold, he said.
And soon the trick was plated with gold, it melted and then made it’s own
masking behind something else.
and so it is an animal without muscle
Noah, who became in coming out of the Arc, praying.
and an animal’s skin was the very important thing that keeps everything warm within, שמות לה:ז
to know the voice,
so if i were to trap you, or to make you into an image,
if i were to think
a form you could be given,
who knew that when a calf arose,
the trick was now on you.
of course the rest followed Moshe it could not feel good to
trap an aimless animal,
it could not feel like anything like you.
and aaron’s poor sons who now knew this feeling, of revealing itself
when it was not time for revealing,
of course we will go with you.
did we have to learn this the hard way? by praying to something else in the wrong way?
come on, and trust us now again,
as you always have.
Gd always seems to want the
Yaakov who finds himself with broken limbs
nothing is true about being trapped
in the whole who wrestles with you
rises with sunlight to serve the king,
not knowing how you have been everything.
who just want to know you too.
bring the hyde. bring the animals. bring their fur, bring their winged ones,
we’re making an ark for the holy one,
for a life i dedicate to you.
and Noah had trapped all the animals
and when we are free,
Aaron made a garment for his son, just as he wants it,
skin of fur, like man made himself
בראשית, כב:ט and Gd made Adam
in a life I dedicate to you.
i would never begin to trap you, in a form, for that I leave you to do.
and here I build and give this offering,
Moses said to Betzalel, I want to build an ark for the torah first,
but Betezel knew what was really said, Build a mishkan a home first,
this is for the entire world.
and here we place our precious torah, to be in the face of love.
So as I stand knowing I don’t just want to bow to
just a golden image of You.
I also know that the whole is safe,
never trapped, and always new.
Oh, love, if I can’t look at you,
I may look down at the Torah given by you.
Seeing pure gold that I am seeing through
to the words
love, love love love.
do not trap yourself in believing you’re anything, I really think that this shows everything that you gave us
a plan and now this plan is true. all the gold is for you.
in a mishkan or in an earring, even this structure, although quite endearing, thank you for work, thank you for giving,
take me inside.
if i were a yoke upon my brother’s neck, through and through, please throw me off, place your faith in you.
something is truer than what you think you are,
a life I dedicate you to.
I say this to myself, now that I treasure you,
do not trap us, in any karmic ring, used to carry us, as if it were an earring that kept me in
a false “hood” of servitude
pulling me through,
pulling me everywhere because I’m alive, my earrings are yours.
Betzalel knew that life on the inside
needed a home, and didn’t want to hide
on top of the truth
with a body of gold,
but a life that I dedicate to you.
the tablets were broken, and still they were saved for you. each one a piece, each one a place
and you can now begin to bring us ever enduring
who will carry the four corners of the earth
or the chair at her wedding?
who will be the poles
that I place on this ring of you?
a lifelong friend,
just the beginning….
and we place on the table the grandest bread,
and say seven blessings,
and hopefully, this is what is freeing you,
nothing here in service in servitude,
we are in love,
this is what love is true,
sweet is my heart,
with endless offerings,
kruvim over heard
speaking of wisdom….
so if i were to invite two of everything,
I would alive be carrying Gd.
And so the world, ever spinning,
Breaking these tablets, and re-arranging
there seems to be a concept of servitude,
but this is His home,
We’re making the covering.
dripping with Torah
So he arrived at the tree alive
with the freedom to choose, to say this is yours AND yours, to know how if feeling the
one of thing
safe inside israel.
so the world is a table gloriously received,
on which the bread
have we tied the knowing
or the singing our song of grace,
what is the angel you’re welcoming?
with him lies a job, on whom he arrives with,
and all is his will, building demolishing,
on a cloudy day, we are just staying….
10.29.13 at 6:26 pm | Your love could fly, could be grounded, as . . .
10.22.13 at 9:58 am | The repressed heart
10.17.13 at 6:46 am | Parsha Vayera
10.9.13 at 2:11 pm |
9.13.13 at 7:33 am |
8.26.13 at 10:11 am |
March 26, 2011 | 2:01 pm
Posted by Emily Stern
To Go There: Little Red Riding Hood
by Emily Stern
our conversations are cyclical that i would need a magnifying gladness of hindsight to see anything within this glass of water. it is swollen, my whole body, too much salt, or milk, or something. and what is everything being said about lions and lambs? Their natures do not seem so different. lambs and jellyfish… or stingrays, lionesses and fleas. so instead i pray in the midst of conversation in my mind, always wanting to escape and being glad to be here.
Jerusalem’s a lion they said. i didn’t even know Jerusalem. He asks me about archetypes. We speak about story. His stories bring more to the table. they are thickest milk. more complex than the point he makes, than the point. “do you enjoy yourself with me?” “Of course…” I say. He couldn’t tell. he described me exactly. Not quite sure to go there with you.
i am thinking of my husband, the one i married in my mind. and life combusts. We are in the alley way. talking about how we have been taught by stories like Little Red Riding Hood, learning forests are dangerous, about learning fear, but I think i was taught that wolves were kinda sweet. ... and so my mind talks a good prayer. it is a wishful thinking machine. it wants the best for all beyond ecstatic things for you. much love. I get you so much. You are made by Gd.
and I don’t get you. at all! in a very literary way, you are not mine because you’re unknowable, but also married. but even so, he seems not to get me either. understand me. I assume he knows the deeper meaning when he calls me royalty and I play along. I pray along with you. wanting me to be something. I try to give the lesson about how we are all one, i’m not what you think… I’m…. he says it’s a given, doesn’t need to be said. I already knew that too. and then he told me these moments matter
the first man i was ever with i said no to before I was with him. i said i want intimacy. and that is different than desire. i feel like I’m always in needah נידה, i said. not just single. i feel like an untouchable. Singing to King Saul. is it the same thing that always happens? that it’s harder for gd to keep lions and lambs from laying together than to keep them not? i’m so over the pay off. what are we supposed to do with foretold prophecy? just sit back and experience the process? Cry Love? step into the symbology?
i watched the light descend upon you. and i want to go there with you.