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Jewish Journal

Dear Dr.L

by Dr. Limor Blockman

June 13, 2013 | 4:10 pm

Dear Dr.L- Your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questioners should be addressed to

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

Dear Dr.L,

My name is Orly and I'm writing you in regards to a thought that I have been having about my relationship with my boyfriend. It's not that anything is wrong, in fact we enjoy a very healthy and abundant love life, only we are not really synchronized when it comes to the right time for sex. Essentially he always has interest in morning sex,exactly when I'm in a hurry and need to leave for work, or just can't put my full attention and mind into it, as I know I should. In the evening when I'm most interested in it, he usually obliges so I can't complain, but seem much less enthusiastic and I get to 'do most of the work'. I was wondering if this is just due to basic different interests that we have, will it always be this way or is there something I can suggest to change it. Thank you for all the great answers you give here.

 

Dear Orly,

Thank you for your kind words and for your intriguing question that I suspect occupies many women. I'll start by saying that the situation you are sharing is very common. Unfortunately western society and the movie industry so to speak, 'ruined' it for us women by 'selling' the notion of 'male sexual interest- anywhere,anytime,the more the better',a false assumption that might create a 'good' fertilizer for quarrels and disagreements between men and women in relationships. The reason for your partner's eagerness in the am activity( aside from the obvious 'morning glory' and a restful body enabling more stamina) is the biological surge in testosterone at this time of the day. As the clock moves over to the pm hours, the less testosterone  flooding his body and thus creating less sexual appetite if you will. Since testosterone is directly and positively correlated  with libido,the idea that he's willing and able to surrender to your nocturnal desires,should be obtained as a compliment to your feminine appeal:)

On top of basic physical changes, other factors might contribute to surging or plummeting testosterone. Watching an action feature or his favorite baseball team winning, will shoot his levels up,while a loss  might plummet them just as rapidly,no matter what time of the day it is. On that note,a known 'testosterone enhancer' is tantric sex that enables ejaculation avoidance but that is a completely different subject and too vast to elaborate here. I suggest talking these feelings through, to allow mutual satisfaction on all hours of the day. Also, at a low leveled testosterone ,you can enjoy a gentle lover willing to agree upon any suggestion you might bring to the table,such as that coveted Paris vacation or a Tiffany's necklace!

Best of luck!

 


Dear Dr.L,

My name is Alina and I'm interested in some tips or a suggestion in the delicate matter of oral sex. My new partner is well endowed,I'm very interested in satisfying him but not quite sure how to approach his manhood and more importantly, how do I go about giving him pleasure while avoiding the dreaded gag reflex. I'm a little embarrassed to ask him what to do ,as he's more experienced and I want to impress him. I appreciate your professional and great ideas! Thank you!

 

Dear Alina,

Thank you for your colorful question and congrats on your find:)

As to your inquiry, oral sex( given to a man can be related to as fellatio as well) is a very personal matter,not only between different pairings ,but rather when it comes to our own personal interest and desire, in other words it is very possible that a certain act will provide us with immense pleasure today but will be deemed unsatisfying in a few months, or that a certain routine will work magically with a certain partner,but trying to recapture it with another will not do. I fully relate to your discomfort in bringing up the matter, nonetheless good relations are truly based on an open and honest communication,while avoiding it may 'rob' you of many pleasures.

In regards to a 'full on' pleasuring of your partner's abundant offering; it's all about 'practice makes perfect,however I'll just mention that the glans offer the most intense 'nerve field' and thus pleasuring this area would and should feel great to him. A tiny tip when it comes to providing a 'filling sensation'; if you position your tongue on the to top of your palate,your indulgence should give him a feeling of proximity to fullness and almost reaching an apex, a very known aphrodisiac, plus the moist sensation of your tongue should gratify him immensely. I suggest casually talking about it, while you are in bed together, not in a gravely manner but rather flirtatiously in good intentions!

Best of luck!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Dr.Limor Blockman is a renowned Clinical Sex Counselor, Educator, Columnist, Speaker and Author.

Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health &...

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