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Dear Dr.L

by Dr. Limor Blockman

May 30, 2013 | 12:32 pm

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questioners should be addressed to 

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

Dear Dr.L ,

Thank you for answering our questions and for caring, I appreciate it!

My name is Ron, I'm 55 and in a traditional relationship with my partner of 20 years. Our relations are pretty frequent and good. Lately I have noticed that on occasion the semen released during climax is very limited. I remember that in the past, during my 20s and 30s ,my ejaculation was more intense and visible. At times I even feel the sensation of a climax but nothing comes out. Is something wrong with me? Should I seek help, is it a risky symptom? Also, I would like to enhance the amount of semen being released if possible, I don't know how can it be done but if it could ,please tell me how.

Thank you so much!

 

Dear Ron,

Hello and thank you for your question and kind words.

It's very common for the amount of semen to slowly reduce with age,the older a man gets, the less sperm he produces and thus ejaculates, for obvious evolutionary and reproductive reasons and such. A few studies indicate that the decline is gradual starting early 20s and all the way to a man's 80s.

The reason you might have only noticed it currently, is likely due to just that, the gradual reduction that is less noticeable, also, I just assume that you never really took the time to measure it. As to your question,as long as the frequency of your scarce ejaculation is low, there isn't a reason to be worried, nonetheless should you sense any pain during ejaculation, I would recommend seeing a urologist.

"Orgasmic Anejaculation", the condition where there is a climax sans an actual semen being released, is not a rare condition either and is mostly related to the use of medication. At times this condition alludes to a different condition called 'Retrograde Ejaculation', where semen flows back into the bladder. Your health care provider can evaluate the existence of it via a simple urine sample.

Regarding enhancing the volume of sperm released, unfortunately it isn't possible to do and quite honestly, if it is not for procreation purposes at this point, is it truly necessary?

Best of luck and good health!

 

 


Dr.L hello,

My name is David and I have been in an exclusive relationship for the past ten years. For the last 2 years I have been spending many hours on the Internet ,mostly late at night.

Very often I come to visit chat rooms and sites of a strong sexual content. I happened to engage in quite a few chats with different women, some more frequent some less. I never actually met with any of these women, nonetheless I feel very unease with my actions. I often question my reasoning for it and whether it applies to cheating and break of our established trust. I'm not sure if 'coming clean' will benefit my partner or will it be just a selfish act that will clear my conscience but will hurt my partner at the same time. Please help me. Thank you so much.

 

Dear David,

Thank you for your important question, your honesty and the concern and caring for your partner's well being!

Studies indicate that SEX is the most searched word online, about 15% of the American population visits pornographic or highly sexual sites during a random search and surf online.

For most, it comes down to just a recreational activity, harmless and entertaining.

Nonetheless,a recent study published in the Journal of  Psychology & Behavioral Sciences found that those who spend 11 hours or more a week on Internet sex sites, exhibit  clear signs of psychological distress, frequently admitting their online sex pursuits interfere with other aspects of their life.

This possible interference ,might gradually evolve into dependency accompanied by an increasing need for more time devoted to cyber sex.

Regarding your partner and your concern about her feelings and hardship over your nocturnal activity, the specification and definition of 'cheating' is a very individual, personal matter for you, her or a third party with whom you might choose to examine this condition. Certain professionals will claim that any extramarital activity should be regarded as cheating, while others will choose a more liberal approach claiming that as long as either partner is not harmed by the other's activity, no harm can be done, sort of like a' don't ask don't tell'  heterosexual approach :)

Regardless, most experts will agree that if any cyber sex activity replaces  couplehood attachment or mutual pleasuring, it applies to bring hazardous and destructive results to your relationship and should be addressed promptly and openly, in search of more accommodating solution that will satisfy both parties. It's paramount to state that this situation is broader than the specific definition of cheating, as it can escalate to the 'abuser's' dependency and possibly pursuing an actual physical meeting with a cyber sex friend, what will create an actual carnal 'infidelity' if you will.

I recommend surfacing the situation you are dealing with, your partner should be able to appreciate your honesty, openness and genuine interest in finding solutions. I believe you can grow stronger from this experience and find a good settlement for both of you.

Best of luck!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Dr.Limor Blockman is a renowned Clinical Sex Counselor, Educator, Columnist, Speaker and Author.

Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health &...

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