Jewish Journal

Twenty-One Topics Your Doctor Doesn’t Want to Discuss with You!

by Dr. Afshine Emrani

May 12, 2014 | 2:07 pm

My family hates doctors. We don’t take medicine. I’m here just for a checkup.

1. I just signed up for Obamacare. Can you write off the $2000 deductible? Can you accept insurance only?

2. I did a Google search and I strongly disagree with your treatment.

3. I subscribe to a letter that comes from Harvard which says Statins are poison. Can you read it and see if you will change your mind?

4. My friend is visiting from Germany and does not have insurance. Can you order some tests for him under mine? And some antibiotics?

5. My family hates doctors. We don’t take medicine. I’m here just for a checkup.

6. My last doctor was a jerk. He would not refill my Valium without seeing me. That’s why I fired him.

7. I don’t like the patients in your waiting room- too many foreigners.

8. Can I get your cell phone number? I don’t like the answering service.

9. My wife’s friend wanted me to ask you if the medication her doctor is prescribing for her has any bad side effects.

10. Can I record our visit for my YouTube channel?

11. Can I drop by once a month to pick up samples of my medications?

12. Are the diplomas on the wall real?

13. Sorry about my bad Yelp review. I was having a bad day. I really like you.

14. I brought a couple of cousins with me. They just have a quick question each.

15. Sorry if I smell like garlic. I just heard it’s good for you. What do you think?

16. Hang on a minute. I am just updating my Facebook status. Can I request you?

17. I don’t smoke too much. Just enough to keep my appetite low so I don’t gain weight.

18. According to Dr. Oz…

19. I hate Jews but I go to Jewish doctors because they seem to be good at what they do.

20. (In a party or while shopping)While we're here, would you mind taking a look at my mole?

21. I'm sorry to call you on the weekend, but I forgot to ask for the Vicodin that you always prescribe me.

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Afshine Asher Emrani is a Persian Jew who loves God passionately, and as a result loves the path of healing, loves life, loves love and loves to share what he loves!  He is a...

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