Dennis Prager

December 15, 2010

A Yeshiva boy and Christmas

By Dennis Prager

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When I was 20, I spent my junior year in college in England. When classes let out for the last two weeks of December, I traveled to Morocco, where something life-changing occurred.

What happened was that I felt a longing, even an emptiness, I had never before experienced. Something was missing from my life, but I could not at first identify it. I knew it was not about being without friends or family — after all, I hadn’t been with family or friends in England for the previous three months. And it wasn’t about being alone — I had gotten used to traveling by myself.

This sense of missing something kept gnawing at me, until one day I realized what it was: I missed the Christmas season. I missed that time of year in America.

At first I denied it. Growing up in an Orthodox Jewish home and in yeshivas, I had obviously never celebrated Christmas. How could I miss something that I never had? And being so Jewish, how could I miss the quintessential Christian holiday? It seemed religiously wrong, maybe even sinful.

But I could not conjure up any other explanation: I was in a non-Christian country, and therefore I heard no Christmas songs, saw no Christmas decorations, and Dec. 25 was just another day.

I subsequently spent a lot of time reflecting on this. It made little sense to me: Why would a yeshiva boy miss the Christmas season?

I came to two life-changing realizations. First, though my yeshiva world did everything possible to deny the existence of Christmas — for example, we had school on Christmas Day, and “midwinter vacation,” as it was called, was at the end of January, not at the end of December — this yeshiva boy really liked the Christmas season.

And, second, this Jew, whose yeshiva upbringing taught him to think of himself only as a Jew, was in fact an American as well.

Though it took more than a few years to fully realize just how deeply American I was and how much I appreciated American Christianity, it was Christmas in Morocco in 1968 that first opened my eyes. And I was never the same.

My youth in New York had consisted of an Orthodox home, Orthodox shul, Orthodox yeshiva, Orthodox friends and Orthodox Zionist summer camp in which only Hebrew was spoken and which was entirely Israel-oriented. Of course, I was an American, but how was I supposed to feel American? Little in my life reinforced that feeling (except for my father’s stories and picture books from his years as an officer in the U.S. Navy during World War II).

In that Orthodox world, American identity was not denigrated, just ignored. Anything Christian, however, was sometimes denigrated and always avoided — with one exception: Every year, in my home, we four Orthodox Jews would watch the Christmas Mass from Rome. We were fascinated by the pageantry and ritual.

So, until I was an adult, my contact with Christians and Christianity was almost nonexistent — except for Christmas decorations and Christmas music. I remember as a youngster aching to speak to this ultimate Other — a Christian. What were they like, I wondered? Did they really only have to believe in Jesus to go to heaven? Did they not have to do anything? I remember having “Christian-envy” as a child: They could drive every day of the week and eat whatever they wanted and still go to heaven — what a deal!

The Morocco revelations — that I missed something Christian and that I felt quite American, not just Jewish — were, therefore, a jolt.

As the years passed, I not only made peace with my American identity and with my enjoyment of the Christmas season, I came to treasure that season and to fall in love with America and its distinct values (what I call the American Trinity: Liberty, In God We Trust, and E Pluribus Unum). While director of a Jewish institution — the Brandeis-Bardin Institute in Simi Valley — I volunteered to be a Santa Claus for the Simi Valley Rotary Club, of which I was a member. So, during the same week that I led Shabbat activities for a thousand Jews, I also went to my Rotary Club meeting (what is more American than the Rotary Club?), and I played Santa Claus at a local department store.

It is that season now, and I never fail to get goose bumps when I hear Burl Ives sing “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas,” let alone when I attend a live performance of Handel’s “Messiah,” surely the most glorious religious music ever composed. I love hearing people wish each other “Merry Christmas.” When my yarmulke-wearing children were younger, I used to take them to see beautiful Christmas lights on homes.

Those who wish to remove Christmas trees from banks and colleges and other places where Americans gather are not only attempting to rob the 90 percent of Americans who celebrate Christmas of their holiday, they are robbing this committed Jew, too.

And, to think, I first realized all this in a Muslim country.

Dennis Prager is a nationally syndicated radio talk-show host, columnist, author and public speaker. He can be heard in Los Angeles on KRLA (AM 870) weekdays 9 a.m. to noon. His Web site is dennisprager.com.

A version of this article appeared in print.

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It is hard to argue with your realization!

I live in Canada where the Jewish population is extremely small

Comment by MARTIN on 12/15/10 at 10:38 am

I can’t say I understand or relate to this article. My first such experience of such a Christmas season was in Israel, and the absence of the jingle bells and the holly jolly feliz navidad etc. was a great relief.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 12/15/10 at 11:29 pm

Growing up in Queens, I realized how Jewish the city was only after moving to Texas, where there is a christian church on every block (or at least it feels that way).

But to see what culture christianity has embedded into “being a Texan”, regardless of their own denominations, you find two things. . . the gaudy decorations of homes by christians/secular non-christians celebrating Santa (you will find Charlie Brown and Mickey Mouse wearing Santa hats) are joined by gaudy Menorah’s that stand 8 feet tall and 15 feet wide on lawns.

I’d never seen anything like that on Continental Avenue.

It really is a culture thing. . . and I’m glad to now be a Texan.

Comment by Jerry Ryan on 12/16/10 at 1:20 pm

Oy vey! There’s not enough to celebrate in Judaism? Do you really miss a six month display of items such as Santa Claus, Christmas trees and ornaments that have absolutely nothing to do with the birth of Jesus? For me, the further away from Xmas our holiday of Chanukah is, the better I like it because it instills a real sense of Judaism to celebrate a miracle, rather than as a second-class holiday compared to the media blitz about Xmas. It’s a real pleasure to be able to ignore the Christmas onslaught in America—for me, it’s on to Purim!

Comment by Howard Weber on 12/17/10 at 8:47 am

Howard, come on, be a mensch.

We sure don’t have six months of Christmas in Texas. Is LA different?

I don’t know of any media blitz on the birth of Jesus.

Instead the reports about the ACLU telling schools they can’t say the word Christmas though it is a Federal holiday.

You’re a great example of what Dennis wrote saying : “Anything Christian, however, was sometimes denigrated and always avoided”.

I guess the thing about being Jewish in Texas is that Evangelical Christians, while they may want to convert you from time to time, really do support Israel more than any other single group in this country.

I have to respect that, and I honor that. . . and I honor them for it.

Comment by Jerry Ryan on 12/17/10 at 9:57 am

What a lovely thought. I think we only grow by learning about all around us. We never have to reduce our values or creeds. Just love and enjoy.i remember the day that I learned that some ladies of the night I knew were kinder and gentler people than I.

Comment by Blod on 12/17/10 at 10:38 am

Jerry,
  Hey, you were the one criticizing ‘gaudy decorations’ and, for the record, I agree that Christmas should be celebrated fully by those who believe. I have never denigrated anyone’s belief system. I am also quite grateful for the Christian support for Israel. Also, for the record,I’m from NY, not LA, and the stores here start advertising Xmas sales by the end of August! And…I wish you a very happy holiday and a great New Year!

Comment by Howard Weber on 12/17/10 at 12:56 pm

Howard, I wasn’t criticizing gaudy decorations.

In Texas, we’re PROUD of gaudy decorations on our homes.

Not public displays which should be tasteful.

There are houses here that you can tune your car to a radio station and the lights are programmed for the music, flashing and dancing.

It’s wild.

Comment by Jerry Ryan on 12/18/10 at 10:59 am

You know what this reminds me of?

“We remember the fish, which we were wont to eat in Egypt for nought; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlic” (Numbers 11)

This essay is a symptom of what Galut truly means - identifying with your host country through and through.

Sad.

Comment by A Jew in Israel on 12/19/10 at 12:00 am

I am a convert living in Israel.
Since I have lovely memories of my sincerely religious Christian family celebrating Christmas together—going out to the forest to pick and chop down a tree, baking sugar cookies, going Christmas caroling, and of course, presents under the tree…I’m surprised that I don’t identify at all with your feelings while in Morocco.
Perhaps it is because in Israel both our private and public lives are so full of our own rich traditions and observances, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

Comment by yael on 12/19/10 at 2:10 am

I have recently come to the same conclusion as Mr. Prager. I do not think it has to do so much with the celebration of Christmas, but with the relationships you have with wonderful persons who are Christian. It is a joyful time for them and it leads to your own enjoyment of life.

Comment by Elise on 12/19/10 at 7:10 am

Disappointed.Feelings on joining society is natural;Jewish identity requires choices.Fine that Americans love Christmas;Rabbi Kahane said secular Jewish groups hurt Jews by battling creches in front of City Halls etc.Choose battles &put; Jewish resources into positive efforts rather than antagonistic ones.

Prager’s academically/philosophically brilliant &knowledgable;.But God wants the heart; that is amply clear.More than the ‘American Trinity’, reflect upon the Jewish Trinity:God,Torah &Israel;(people/land/spirit).Rabbi Dovid Grossman, (more educated &brilliant; than Prager) said when he began to learn Torah,he didn’t find every answer but his brilliant questions became unimportant.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 12/19/10 at 11:10 am

I absolutely loved this story.  It brought me back to my high school days on Long Island.  Our Jewish friends would come to midnight mass and we would go to Temple events.  It was nice learning a little about Christianity and Judaism from one another.

I attended Catholic grammar school so high school was my first exposure to Jewish people.  I have felt a warmth and regard for Jews ever since as a result
of that exposure.

Comment by Barbara on 12/20/10 at 1:56 pm

Though totally Jewish, i like the Christmas season in America because it is so festive and it brings out the best in so many: happy family reunions, generosity, charity giving, and many smiling faces everywhere. I live in snow country and the decorations on my neighbors houses are beautiful. I also like some of the music. No, I do not have Christmas envy but I am happy for my friends to whom this season is so meaningful.

Comment by Anda Rosen on 12/21/10 at 6:06 pm

Thank you so much for this wonderful article (and the comments). I needed to see this

Comment by Debbie Cohen on 12/22/10 at 7:50 pm

I’m so glad you’re in the States and not Israel. Hate to see what your influence would be here. Reb Shlomo Carlebach once said: “Empty people are filled with themselves.” Congradulations! You’re the poster boy of the year!

BTW, we knew each other back in the day. I still remember you sitting in our living room back in oh, 1970? talking about penis envy. It’s when my sister Sharon finally dismissed you.

Comment by Rabbi Moshe Pesach Geller, Yerushalayim on 12/23/10 at 3:29 pm

Does the Jew not believe that one day both Jew and Gentile will thrive under Messiah’s reign?

Comment by M. Coldagelli on 12/24/10 at 8:09 am

My parents came from India. We celebrate Christmas because we’re American. We celebrate Diwali for our heritage. I celebrated Passover with my Jewish best friend in high school. I find it offensive that people want to ban creches.

In Yemen, there are no Hindu temples. In Saudi Arabia, no synagogues. In China, Falun Gong are killed. I’m glad we live in a country where everyone can celebrate their faith. I say, let’s have Rudolph and Frosty but also creches and crosses, and, at other times of the year, Diwali lights, menorahs, displays for Passover and Ramadan and other holidays that communities want to celebrate. Let’s have a surfeit of celebration, rather than start banning stuff.

Comment by Shefali on 12/24/10 at 8:19 am

Whatever, Jew, athiest, or Christian this time of year “pops”!

Comment by texasgoat on 12/24/10 at 8:35 am

Excellent article, which shows Mr. Praeger’s appreciation of the dominant American culture, which is Christian.  I find it sad that so many Jews would criticize a holiday that is so important to the American people that are Israel’s strongest supporters. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ; it is moronic to suggest otherwise.  And what’s wrong with trees and decorations to express our joy for his birth. Don’t we all buy decorations for our family and friends on their birthdays? Finally, regarding Rabbi Geller’s comments, we’re glad he’s in Israel because we have enough obtuse, slanderous people here.  Some ‘holy’ rabbi.

Comment by EdMc on 12/24/10 at 1:57 pm

EdMc
You are either paranoid or a knee-jerk antisemite. Kindly show us all an example here of Jews criticizing a holiday that is so important to the American people that are Israel’s strongest supporters. We appreciate any support for Israel (bearing in mind that it is the only fundamentally moral choice regardless of our appreciation) but there are important reasons why we as Jews cannot celebrate Christmas. However in America we live and let live and it is nice to see you happy about something. The people here speak about themselves and Praeger who claims to represent a Jewish view. If he spoke about himself without throwing in the Jewish aspect it would be better for all of us.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 12/25/10 at 7:48 pm

Shallow thinking Dennis.  It was the change in the goyisha attitude/disposition toward everyone else, including Jews, that changes during their jolly holiday season.  Its not the ornaments, the tree, the lights, its the veil of gentile meanness toward the ‘other’ that’s generally lifted by their change in disposition that you notice.  If it were otherwise, you could just stick your head into a box of lit x-mas lights with a Burl Ives tape singing “Have a Holly Jolly etc.”  and you could achieve the same realization and effect.  Its not what occurs during X-mas, but what character of goyem is diminished during their jolly holiday.  Then its back to hatred during Easter.

Comment by Dean Blake on 12/27/10 at 1:38 pm

On the face of it ‘Dean Blake’, I would simply disagree and reiterate my position that Praeger is speaking as an American and not a Jew or a Yeshiva boy, and he throws that in a personal therapy and projection. A further point I would make is that it is counterproductive to use the kind of jargon you use and it is indicative of emotional hangups on your part.

But my real impression is that you are troublemaking phony.

Comment by Ben Plonie on 12/27/10 at 3:24 pm

Good on everything in this piece except for the playing of the role of Santa Claus at a local department store.  It’s part of the December dilemma for Jewish parents about whether to let their clamoring kids sit on Santa’s lap and ask for presents.  This Jewish parent says nay. Much as we can appreciate the Christmas season, it’s not “our” holiday. 

Dennis, what do you think about Jewish parents letting their kids sit on Santa’s lap and asking for presents? Truly curious here.

Comment by TPG on 1/11/11 at 7:12 am

Dean Blake: No hatred at Easter.  At least not by all.  I left my church over their refusal to ackowledge the stupidity of blaming the Jews, particularly on Good Friday.  In fact, I’ve left the liberal ELCA all together.  The thing I look forward to on Sunday now, is the new lineup of shows on Shalom TV.

Comment by Erika on 6/08/11 at 7:19 am

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