Jewish Journal

Adopt Your Girlfriend: Subprime Personhood

by Pini Herman

February 20, 2012 | 12:31 pm

Incorporate and Get Supreme Court Personhood

A Florida billionaire has adopted his adult girlfriend in an effort to divert a portion of his assets to her, is accused of killing one 23-year-old Scott Wilson in a drunk driving crash two years ago and faces both criminal charges and a civil suit. The adoption has brought legal response from the billionaire’s biological children.

A state-paid judge, ostensibly representing the people of the state of Florida’s interests, signed the adoption order.  In the next US census when the enumerator mails a survey, makes a phone call or comes knocking on the door and John Goodman and his “daughter” come to the door after having marathon legal non-consanguineous adult incestuous father/daughter sex, they can show the official census enumerator the official judge-signed court certificate that they must be officially listed, on the pain of legal penalty, as father and daughter.

Their undocumented maid, living in their manse’s small maids room, who opened the door for the enumerator is also enumerated, for now, but John Goodman, the billionaire, could be a financial supporter of FAIR (Federation of American Immigration Reform) which is trying to ban the enumeration of undocumented immigrants and has petitioned to courts to “un-adopt” such persons from being accounted for in political reapportionment of Congressional representation.

John Goodman, the billionaire, is mightily trying to protect his shares in corporations through girlfriend adoption. These corporations which have been recently given free speech rights of subprime personhood through the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision.  This gives the right of these corporations to weigh in, using corporate wealth and resources, not only in the election and appointment of politicians, but also judges who may continue to expand their inanimate rights of personhood. Additionally, corporations recently received from the U.S. Supreme Court, additional subprime uber-person rights so they can basically escape from the civil justice system when engaging in discriminatory or predatory behavior, the Supreme Court weakened the class action right of flesh and blood people.

Sub-prime personhood is now also being created for human embryonic cells and blastula and John Goodman, the billionaire, may hold that belief about when personhood begins and may encourage his corporations to help appoint and elect the judges, whom I pay with my tax dollars, to enforce his theology of personhood.

As the Biblical/Koranic Abraham might have said, to an incredulous idol worshipping chief judge when he put the ax in the hand of the intact “jealous” idol surrounded by the splinters of the destroyed idols, the idol did it. That an inanimate, man-made object could have human characteristics did not pass the personhood sniff test then and it does not pass the person-hood sniff test now.

Our politicians and judges, by constructing beings out of thin air put an ax in the hands of man-made inanimate constructions and ignore the hands of men who push that ax that fells people.  We flesh and blood people are not granted the same protections as the inanimate “persons/beings/entities” corporation owners have constructed through legal legerdemain. These corporations constituted of a privileged wealthy few, not necessarily U.S.citizens, can leverage this increased corporate power, for any purpose they see fit, including war and peace, without having to put their own, or their children’s, physical bodies in danger.

A society is at peril when even a clear acceptable count of persons can’t be made.  This country went to bloody war with itself in 1865 over the Constitution’s provision of counting some persons as little as three-fifths of a whole person.

Pini Herman, PhD. has served as Asst. Research Professor at the University of Southern California Dept. of Geography,  Adjunct Lecturer at the USC School of Social Work,  Research Director at the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles following Bruce Phillips, PhD. in that position (I was recently notified that with 40,000 visitors this year the 15 year old study of the LA Jewish populationwas third most downloaded study from Berman Jewish Policy Archives in 2011) and is immediate past President of the Movable Minyan a lay-lead independent congregation in the 3rd Street area. Currently he is a principal of Phillips and Herman Demographic Research. To email Pini: pini00003@gmail.com To follow Pini on Twitter:

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Bruce Phillips is Professor of Sociology and Jewish Communal Studies at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Los Angeles. He has conducted Jewish population...

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