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Opposites attract in ‘Kosher Soul’

An interracial, interfaith relationship is the subject of the Lifetime reality series “Kosher Soul,” which plays on the Black-Jewish culture clash for laughs.
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March 4, 2015

An interracial, interfaith relationship is the subject of the Lifetime reality series “Kosher Soul,” which plays on the Black-Jewish culture clash for laughs.

The “docu-sitcom” that began airing Feb. 25 centers on Miriam Sternoff, 38, a Jewish wardrobe stylist, and African-American comedian O’Neal McKnight, 39, as they navigate conflicts that arise over minor issues — like food and music tastes — and major ones, like marriage, religion and raising kids. Much of it is devoted to McKnight’s conversion to Judaism and everything that entails.

Sternoff, originally from Seattle, grew up in a “Conservadox” family that kept kosher. She had a bat mitzvah in an Orthodox synagogue. 

“I’d had a non-Jewish boyfriend and it didn’t matter to me that he wasn’t Jewish, but I wanted my kids to be raised Jewish and know Judaism,” she told the Journal. “I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drummer, and I don’t see color.”

She and McKnight met at an event for fashion buyers and stylists where McKnight, then also a stylist, was working for rapper and record producer Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. McKnight was instantly attracted to Sternoff and approached her in an elevator before she left. In the ensuing months, he hired her for projects, but she kept him at arm’s length until the night he took her hand in a crowded club “and sparks began to fly,” she said.

However, according to McKnight, the music business “came with a lot of benefits” he was reluctant to give up. Frustrated and needing a change of scenery, Sternoff drove to Los Angeles in the summer of 2009 for a three-month stay that turned permanent. “We didn’t speak for at least a year,” she said. 

Eventually, McKnight had a dream about Sternoff and a superstar actor that served as a wakeup call, which he still remembers: “I woke up in a cold sweat. I said, ‘There’s no way she’s marrying Bradley Cooper!’ ”

Growing up Christian but “not that religious” in rural Shiloh, N.C., McKnight didn’t know any Jews, save for a local shopkeeper. That changed once he moved to New York, where he had Jewish friends and girlfriends and attended a few Shabbat dinners. 

“I started to lean toward Judaism and liked how that felt,” he said. 

Conversion was his idea. “Miriam never forced me, but once I decided to do it, it became very serious to her,” he said.

Becoming a Jew, McKnight said he “felt like I was stepping into who I was supposed to be. When I put on the tefillin, I burst into tears. I could not control the emotions.” 

The series also depicts the couple’s wedding and Jewish rituals, including visits to a mikveh, McKnight’s bris and the first Shabbat dinner he hosted. The celebration was cut short when he got the news that his grandfather died. 

“You see me going back to South Carolina, where I was engulfed in Jesus. It felt a little foreign,” he said.

In lighter moments, “Kosher Soul” plays with stereotypes having to do with music, food and the notion that Black people don’t swim. Sternoff’s attempt to prepare soul food is part of one episode, as is McKnight’s instant dislike of chopped liver. McKnight noted that he has made some changes since his conversion, giving up catfish and pork products. (“I’ll have turkey bacon,” he said.)

Sternoff joked about food and cooking: “For Chanukah, he gave me a Creole cookbook. I said, ‘Honey, there are two things in this entire cookbook that I can eat, let alone make.’ ” 

More serious fodder focuses on the issue of race and how to handle it when they become parents. Added to that, there’s the relationship learning curve that all couples need to navigate. 

McKnight came up with the idea for “Kosher Soul” four years ago. He convinced Sternoff that it would be “an opportunity for the world to fall in love with us and understand what we’re going through. It’s smart, it’s cool, it’s funny, it’s educating you without being preachy. You’re learning and laughing at the same time.” At first, though, Sternoff said she wasn’t sure about having their lives depicted on camera. 

“I’m very quiet, reserved, so it was something I had to think long and hard about,” she said. “But I slowly realized there is nothing like it out there and it’s so informative, and I thought, ‘Why not?’ ” 

The couple made sure from the outset that the show was “respectful and accurate,” McKnight said. “We didn’t want it to be a mockery of Judaism.”

But they do hope it will be good career exposure. Having “worn many hats” as a stylist, r&b singer (he and Sternoff recorded the “Kosher Soul” theme song) and, for the past 2 1/2 years, a comedian, McKnight wants to get into acting in film and TV comedies. Sternoff has styled Winona Ryder, Leona Lewis, Selma Blair and Cobie Smulders, and currently works with ABC and actresses such as Kerry Washington and Regina King. “I do all their photo shoots, ad promos, commercial promos,” she said.

With the filming of the first “Kosher Soul” season complete, the couple is thinking about a second, which might include a bar mitzvah and a trip to Israel. McKnight has never visited the Holy Land, although Sternoff has made the trip several times — after high school graduation and with her family, most recently when her brother married an Israeli.

They both hope viewers come away a little more open-minded. “I want everyone to take away that this is the norm. It’s not weird anymore,” Sternoff said. “Also, Judaism is foreign to some people, and they don’t know a lot about it, so I’m just happy to bring it to light.” 

“At the end of the day, it’s about love,” added McKnight. “Two people from totally different worlds have come together, and, as odd as it may seem, they connect. People are conditioned to think they should be with this or that, when in fact the love of your life could be two doors down and religious and racial barriers get in the way of being happy. So give people the benefit of the doubt. Give love a chance.”

“Kosher Soul” airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime

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