June 13, 2013 | 4:10 pm

Dear Dr.L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

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Dear Dr.L- Your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questioners should be addressed to

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

Dear Dr.L,

My name is Orly and I'm writing you in regards to a thought that I have been having about my relationship with my boyfriend. It's not that anything is wrong, in fact we enjoy a very healthy and abundant love life, only we are not really synchronized when it comes to the right time for sex. Essentially he always has interest in morning sex,exactly when I'm in a hurry and need to leave for work, or just can't put my full attention and mind into it, as I know I should. In the evening when I'm most interested in it, he usually obliges so I can't complain, but seem much less enthusiastic and I get to 'do most of the work'. I was wondering if this is just due to basic different interests that we have, will it always be this way or is there something I can suggest to change it. Thank you for all the great answers you give here.

 

Dear Orly,

Thank you for your kind words and for your intriguing question that I suspect occupies many women. I'll start by saying that the situation you are sharing is very common. Unfortunately western society and the movie industry so to speak, 'ruined' it for us women by 'selling' the notion of 'male sexual interest- anywhere,anytime,the more the better',a false assumption that might create a 'good' fertilizer for quarrels and disagreements between men and women in relationships. The reason for your partner's eagerness in the am activity( aside from the obvious 'morning glory' and a restful body enabling more stamina) is the biological surge in testosterone at this time of the day. As the clock moves over to the pm hours, the less testosterone  flooding his body and thus creating less sexual appetite if you will. Since testosterone is directly and positively correlated  with libido,the idea that he's willing and able to surrender to your nocturnal desires,should be obtained as a compliment to your feminine appeal:)

On top of basic physical changes, other factors might contribute to surging or plummeting testosterone. Watching an action feature or his favorite baseball team winning, will shoot his levels up,while a loss  might plummet them just as rapidly,no matter what time of the day it is. On that note,a known 'testosterone enhancer' is tantric sex that enables ejaculation avoidance but that is a completely different subject and too vast to elaborate here. I suggest talking these feelings through, to allow mutual satisfaction on all hours of the day. Also, at a low leveled testosterone ,you can enjoy a gentle lover willing to agree upon any suggestion you might bring to the table,such as that coveted Paris vacation or a Tiffany's necklace!

Best of luck!

 

Dear Dr.L,

My name is Alina and I'm interested in some tips or a suggestion in the delicate matter of oral sex. My new partner is well endowed,I'm very interested in satisfying him but not quite sure how to approach his manhood and more importantly, how do I go about giving him pleasure while avoiding the dreaded gag reflex. I'm a little embarrassed to ask him what to do ,as he's more experienced and I want to impress him. I appreciate your professional and great ideas! Thank you!

 

Dear Alina,

Thank you for your colorful question and congrats on your find:)

As to your inquiry, oral sex( given to a man can be related to as fellatio as well) is a very personal matter,not only between different pairings ,but rather when it comes to our own personal interest and desire, in other words it is very possible that a certain act will provide us with immense pleasure today but will be deemed unsatisfying in a few months, or that a certain routine will work magically with a certain partner,but trying to recapture it with another will not do. I fully relate to your discomfort in bringing up the matter, nonetheless good relations are truly based on an open and honest communication,while avoiding it may 'rob' you of many pleasures.

In regards to a 'full on' pleasuring of your partner's abundant offering; it's all about 'practice makes perfect,however I'll just mention that the glans offer the most intense 'nerve field' and thus pleasuring this area would and should feel great to him. A tiny tip when it comes to providing a 'filling sensation'; if you position your tongue on the to top of your palate,your indulgence should give him a feeling of proximity to fullness and almost reaching an apex, a very known aphrodisiac, plus the moist sensation of your tongue should gratify him immensely. I suggest casually talking about it, while you are in bed together, not in a gravely manner but rather flirtatiously in good intentions!

Best of luck!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

June 6, 2013 | 1:29 pm

Dear Dr.L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.
All questioners should be addressed to

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

Dear Dr.L,

For the sake of the question I would like to be referred to as Aaron. I am a 25 year old man, about 5.7 and weigh 150 lbs. Lately I have started feeling a bit uncomfortable and a little insecure about the size of my penis. I was wondering if it is just a self judgment or other emotional issue that I have with myself ,or is it truly a problem in light of a size that is smaller than average.

After examining and measuring I realized my size is about 4.5 inches. Is it normal for my age? Is there a chance I will still continue to extend in size in the next few years?

Thank you and sorry for the graphic details.

 

Dear Aaron,

Thank you for your question. I'm certain that a size related inquiry is a very common cogitation in the minds of many men of all ages,whether these assumptions and pensiveness evolves into an actual measuring or not, is besides the point. The penis arrives at its final measurement around the age of 18 and so it will be fair to assume that there will not be any dramatic change in your size, it will probably be your proportion for life. I am not aware what method did you use in terms of measurement ,how accurate were you and whether these were performed while erect or flaccid, nonetheless a penis average at about 6 inches. Smaller penises tend to extend more while erect, in other words, if you're an inch or two smaller than the next guy, you'll probably arrive at the same end result while erect. In spite of different myths in regards to racial,various genetic factors or non representative adult content, most penises arrive at a close size while erect, give or take an inch.  In regards to your referral as to 'what is normal'  I would like to ease your mind and tell you that your masculinity or your ability to perform as a successful lover both do not relate to the size of your penis ,but rather to your ability to be attentive and considerate.

Furthermore, compatibility is a big factor in love making and not every woman is a 'size queen' if you will. I suggest you should focus on the important factors and avoid any comparison or frustrations that are not only immutable but rather not important in the 'game of love'.

Good luck!

 

 

Dear Dr.L,

My name is Lillian and I am actually writing to you in a matter that simply intrigues me as sexual knowledge base ,rather than a sexual difficulty or discomfort. I would like to make sure my boyfriend reads your answer as well ,as that will put his mind at ease about the specific matter and will enable us a freer experience. I came across a phenomenon called female ejaculation. I would like to understand what does it entail, if all women can experience it ,is it truly a more intense climax and what does the fluid released compose of. I'm asking since I have heard a few people claiming the fluid released is urine, that made my partner uncomfortable about experimenting, however other sources claimed it wasn't and that its false to assume that. I would really want to experience it. Thank you!

 

Dear Lillian,

I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to relate to a recreational inquiry of this sort, emphasizing female sexual interest in good sexuality and the quest of solid sensual experience.

In reply to your question, female ejaculation is indeed an experience that educes the release of an abundant amount of vaginal fluids  during female climax. Some sources might relate to this phenomenon as 'squirting'.

By nature female ejaculation is controversial , as unreliable sources might claim only women that arrive at this point actually climax, while others will claim no women can actually achieve it and even suggest an illusory nature to it. The truth is it does indeed exist and accessible to most women, albeit requiring physical comfortability and familiarity with the female anatomy and such.  Data regarding the percentage of women achieving this blissful experience is scarce and hard to obtain (much like the experience itself); nonetheless a study conducted in the late 90s claimed around 6% of women may achieve ejaculation upon self demand. The amount of fluid released alters from one woman to another, some report a great deluge that resembles pre birth water breaking, while others claim the amount equates to half a cup. Female ejaculation is not urine, a false assumption that accompanied the phenomena until late 80s. OBGYNs most likely originated it, mistakingly confusing it with incontinence that might be more prone during climax as the body is relaxed and thus less in control over muscles and secretions.

In mid 80s a few studies suggested that the fluid released is not urine ,but rather an alkaline based substance, containing  chemical ingredients similar to those produced by the male prostate – notably PSA (prostate-specific antigen). It is also said to contain two sugars: glucose and fructose.

It is clear and non staining, unlike urine.

Since 2000,Researchers have claimed that the liquid may be the secretion of Skene's glands (the paraurethral glands),small glands around the female urethra. In any case , female ejaculation is generated out of a more intense orgasm, 'draining' in its nature much like the male climax, deducing fatigue and a strong sense of release but also a grand satisfaction. I suggest just enjoying the sensual bliss and avoiding any specific focus on achieving it, mostly when we are too eager to get somewhere ,we lose notice of the road towards it and thus might leave the pleasure on the way unnoticed.

Much luck!

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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May 30, 2013 | 12:32 pm

Dear Dr.L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questioners should be addressed to 

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

Dear Dr.L ,

Thank you for answering our questions and for caring, I appreciate it!

My name is Ron, I'm 55 and in a traditional relationship with my partner of 20 years. Our relations are pretty frequent and good. Lately I have noticed that on occasion the semen released during climax is very limited. I remember that in the past, during my 20s and 30s ,my ejaculation was more intense and visible. At times I even feel the sensation of a climax but nothing comes out. Is something wrong with me? Should I seek help, is it a risky symptom? Also, I would like to enhance the amount of semen being released if possible, I don't know how can it be done but if it could ,please tell me how.

Thank you so much!

 

Dear Ron,

Hello and thank you for your question and kind words.

It's very common for the amount of semen to slowly reduce with age,the older a man gets, the less sperm he produces and thus ejaculates, for obvious evolutionary and reproductive reasons and such. A few studies indicate that the decline is gradual starting early 20s and all the way to a man's 80s.

The reason you might have only noticed it currently, is likely due to just that, the gradual reduction that is less noticeable, also, I just assume that you never really took the time to measure it. As to your question,as long as the frequency of your scarce ejaculation is low, there isn't a reason to be worried, nonetheless should you sense any pain during ejaculation, I would recommend seeing a urologist.

"Orgasmic Anejaculation", the condition where there is a climax sans an actual semen being released, is not a rare condition either and is mostly related to the use of medication. At times this condition alludes to a different condition called 'Retrograde Ejaculation', where semen flows back into the bladder. Your health care provider can evaluate the existence of it via a simple urine sample.

Regarding enhancing the volume of sperm released, unfortunately it isn't possible to do and quite honestly, if it is not for procreation purposes at this point, is it truly necessary?

Best of luck and good health!

 

 

Dr.L hello,

My name is David and I have been in an exclusive relationship for the past ten years. For the last 2 years I have been spending many hours on the Internet ,mostly late at night.

Very often I come to visit chat rooms and sites of a strong sexual content. I happened to engage in quite a few chats with different women, some more frequent some less. I never actually met with any of these women, nonetheless I feel very unease with my actions. I often question my reasoning for it and whether it applies to cheating and break of our established trust. I'm not sure if 'coming clean' will benefit my partner or will it be just a selfish act that will clear my conscience but will hurt my partner at the same time. Please help me. Thank you so much.

 

Dear David,

Thank you for your important question, your honesty and the concern and caring for your partner's well being!

Studies indicate that SEX is the most searched word online, about 15% of the American population visits pornographic or highly sexual sites during a random search and surf online.

For most, it comes down to just a recreational activity, harmless and entertaining.

Nonetheless,a recent study published in the Journal of  Psychology & Behavioral Sciences found that those who spend 11 hours or more a week on Internet sex sites, exhibit  clear signs of psychological distress, frequently admitting their online sex pursuits interfere with other aspects of their life.

This possible interference ,might gradually evolve into dependency accompanied by an increasing need for more time devoted to cyber sex.

Regarding your partner and your concern about her feelings and hardship over your nocturnal activity, the specification and definition of 'cheating' is a very individual, personal matter for you, her or a third party with whom you might choose to examine this condition. Certain professionals will claim that any extramarital activity should be regarded as cheating, while others will choose a more liberal approach claiming that as long as either partner is not harmed by the other's activity, no harm can be done, sort of like a' don't ask don't tell'  heterosexual approach

Regardless, most experts will agree that if any cyber sex activity replaces  couplehood attachment or mutual pleasuring, it applies to bring hazardous and destructive results to your relationship and should be addressed promptly and openly, in search of more accommodating solution that will satisfy both parties. It's paramount to state that this situation is broader than the specific definition of cheating, as it can escalate to the 'abuser's' dependency and possibly pursuing an actual physical meeting with a cyber sex friend, what will create an actual carnal 'infidelity' if you will.

I recommend surfacing the situation you are dealing with, your partner should be able to appreciate your honesty, openness and genuine interest in finding solutions. I believe you can grow stronger from this experience and find a good settlement for both of you.

Best of luck!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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May 16, 2013 | 1:02 pm

Dear Dr. L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questioners should be addressed to

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

Dear Dr.Limor,

I'm contacting you in regards to a matter I have been struggling with, ever since my husband of 8 years has brought it up a few months back. My husband suggested that we should take part in an extramarital activity better known as swinging. The 'community' he referred to is a very exclusive and intense one that meets once a month for a weekend of sexual explorations. When he first initiated the discussion about the matter, it was brief and insignificant but ever since,he has become more and more demanding of my response to his request. I personally find my husband very attractive and fail to see the point of an exhibitionistic activity of that sort, and in swapping in general. I consulted a few of my close friends that had versatile opinions;some thought that it could enliven our relationship ,while others saw it as a treacherous step leading solely to destruction, which is pretty much my own opinion. I don't know how to approach him about that or honestly what to say to shift him from this,now almost a fixation. Please help me save my marriage!

Dalia

 

Dear Dalia,

Thanks for your question, I assess that the topic of swinging comes up in close to 40% of married homes, figuratively or verbally alike, either way it comes down to it being a very common and urgent discussion on today's relationship 'menu' so to speak. I'm pleased that you are opinionated and thus examining the matter pre action ,whether it is through consulting acquaintances or a professional. I must emphasize refraining from bringing a personal opinion into our discussion, as this is not the place to present a manifest advocating or negating the choice of this alternative lifestyle,as the topic is too vast to dissect and in any case to each his own. In your specific case ,I must professionally recommend aborting this notion ,as the foundation of it is rocky and might predict an upcoming collapse. Rarely do both parties approach this venture with mutual interest ,exultation and stamina. In your case ,you have already stated that should you take part in this activity it will be solely for your husband's sake, surely any activity that is being pursued for any one else's interest rather than our own, is bound to end in discontent to say the least, especially as we're dealing with a form of action that might jeopardize your entire marriage. In a more abstract way of putting it, 'one might find it extremely difficult to surrender to imposed vegetarianism,healthier choice as it is, after being indulged with sizzling steaks that are just eager to be eaten,whenever the craving arises'..

In conclusion, I strongly recommend avoiding this activity and engaging in an assertive yet supportive dialogue with your husband, preferably with a third professional party, to examine needs and wishes that might be addressed and supported by other notions, much less crucial or hazardous to your relationship! Best of luck!! 

 

 

Dear Dr.L,

I'm a 43 year old man, healthy in general other than my hypotension that I was diagnosed with a few years back. I recently have experienced a difficult divorce ending a 15 year marriage, I'm quite distressed and shocked being 'thrown' back into the dating scene. I went on a few dates that were pleasant enough, however I keep getting nervous over my ability to satisfy a new partner or maintain the sufficient stamina ,as I haven't experienced any relations with anyone other than my spouse for so long and feel pretty anxious. I don't suffer from impotence per se and do wake up 'functional' so to speak ,but I thought I should consult you with your wonderful wisdom examining whether it will be risky or problematic for me to use a Viagra prior to my next date, as I assume it will put me at ease and allow me to function more freely with less anxiety.

By the way I truly like your column and am very thankful for your time!

Jacob

 

Dear Jacob,

First, I would like to personally thank you for your kind words, I highly appreciate your compliments! As to your profoundly important question, I'm very thankful for your boldness bringing up 'recreational use of prescription medication',as it is highly common and mostly hazardous. You are a young man, clearly not battling impotence as you attested to morning erections, more importantly (and HERE is the most important part of your inquiry), you DO suffer from hypotension. Viagra by its property lowers blood pressure by enhancing nitric oxide and thus vasodilating blood vessels.

Being a man that already deals with lower blood pressure, you would be knowingly putting yourself at risk using a vasodilator. I'm very certain that there are many men in your position dealing with new relationships and/ or emerging out of long and familiar relationships,thus exhibiting discomfort and anxiety over new connections, however there is absolutely no need in taking any physical risks when approaching an emotional challenge, the latter can be dealt with via psychoanalytical methods that might provide reassurance, establish self confidence and introduce new ways along the dating scene management. I commend your approach seeking advice. Please refrain from unnecessarily using this medication and embrace a long and healthy life.

Best of luck and happiness!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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May 9, 2013 | 1:53 pm

Dear Dr.L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.

All questions should be addressed to doctorlimor@gmail.com

Dear Dr.Limor,
I'm writing you regarding a matter that has been troubling me immensely in the last couple of years. For the record I'll refer to myself as Raphael. I have been happily married to a lovely looking wife, 5 years my junior, I'm now 34. When we first got married we used to engage in sexual relations a few times a week, overall it has always been initiated by me, nonetheless my wife would oblige and I have been content with it. The last two years of our marriage have been exhibiting a very drastic decline in the frequency of our encounters,my wife hardly shows any interest whatsoever, and even when she does finally grant me with some relations, I end up being the only 'active' one,so to speak. I'm very frustrated and helpless as to any actions I might take, please help me.

 

Dear Raphael,
Thank you for your email. I'm saddened that you need to deal with these unfortunate circumstances,however very grateful for your bold and frank approach in seeking assistance and surfacing a very important matter many couples deal with on a daily basis,yet feel uncomfortable to even admit to its existence. Many factors attribute to our sexual function, our libido and stamina,our ability to achieve climax and so forth.In relation to your mentioning of your wife's lack of interest or desire, albeit she would oblige to your quests on most occasions when initiated by you, I'm assuming that she is not 'endowed' with an insatiable sexual interest or libido, or simply hasn't experienced a very profound sexual exultation and thus does not truly appreciate the intensity of a satisfying sexual property. You have mentioned that your wife is 5 years younger, that puts her in her late twenties.I'm mentioning that in relation to the fact the the female sexual peak ranges between the ages of 35-50, so do not discourage, the future looks promising:)

Regardless, I would not recommend waiting patiently for a shift, that WILL eventually come I guarantee it,  but rather taking an immediate action by engaging in an open discussion,as a couple and preferably involving a third objective party( solely professional,please refrain from inviting any 'friendly' advice that might come from questionable well wishers...)that will enable you an honest analysis of causes and solutions to your delicate matter. Your relationship holds the sanctity of marriage and thus should be handled carefully and with the proper care in mind. A good open discussion will provide relief and a new headway in your journey towards healing, whether via relationship counseling, use of herbal aphrodisiacs or any other gratifying method you might explore together.

Best of luck!

 

 

Dear Dr.L,
I'm a 32 year old man, have been engaged in healthy relationships throughout the years and never encountered any sexual difficulty. Recently I have started dating a new partner,I'm very eager to satisfy her and to make our time pleasurable,however during the last several encounters I came across a difficulty reaching my climax while losing my potency along with it. My partner exhibited a major dissatisfaction with it and even though I have repeatedly tried explaining that I'm very attracted to her and have no clue why this is happening, she will not accept it and remains insulted and unhappy about it and about me. I'll also mention that I engage in self pleasuring regularly and do reach an orgasm there. Please help me save this relationship, I would hate to lose it over this kind of matter.

Hal

 

Dear Hal,

Thank you for your question, I'm pleased to read about the positive relationship you are involved in and commend your quest for advice, a very vital approach to life in general.The difficulty you are dealing with derives of a few factors:

First, when we initiate a relationship, especially one that intrigues and enlivens us, we tend to encounter physical challenges, males and females alike. Men tend to suffer from an occasional premature/delayed ejaculation,erectile dysfunction and such, while women mostly deal with an acute vaginismus, vaginal dryness or possible inflammations/ infections. The short history you provided along with the very intelligent mentioning of your frequent,yet climax gratifying autoeroticism, lead me to the assumption of two main reasons for your unconsummated pleasure with your partner:

First, your initial less successful attempts to satisfy your lover,'granted' your physical 'memory' with that difficulty and thus functions as a form of ' self fulfilling prophecy'.

Secondly, your frequent self pleasuring created a platform in which your touch, tempo and manner of arousal that might differ from the ones achieved during coitus, 'push' your body in quest of that 'specific' pleasurable sensation and once it arrives in a slightly different form, your body declines it and chooses to have it 'its way or nothing at all' in a more allegorist notion, if I may.

My recommendations:

• Honest mutual discussion, encompassing the important pinpoints I have mentioned above.
• Examining your autoerotic technique for any aberrations from your lovemaking.
• Minimizing self pleasuring, while enhancing mutual sensual delights and staying aware of each other's sensitivity and possible discomfort.

Best of luck!

 

Dr.Limor Blockman, PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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April 30, 2013 | 5:28 pm

Dear Dr. L

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.
All questioners should be addressed to Doctorlimor@gmail.com

 

 

 

Dear Dr.Limor,

I would like to share a matter that bothers me tremendously lately. Recently I have terminated a relationship of three months with a man that was occupying my entire world. The relationship was very intense, I think you might call it love or infatuation. We both declared it happily to one another and all was going well. About two weeks into the relationship he started investing less and less time in seeing me, claiming he was occupied at work. I have since checked it( for my self ,albeit not a politically correct thing to do, I acknowledge) and indeed he was spending time working rather than with other women ,as I assumed. Regardless, it became very bothersome to always wait for him to clear some time for our relationship, and even when I have experienced physical injury that impaired my mobility for a short while, he wouldn't offer his assistance in anyway. Within a few weeks our encounters became more and more scarce and were overall 'held' in the bedroom. I feel a bit awkward asking a sex therapist regarding these matters as I mentioned that the only haven left unharmed in our relationship was the fabulous lovemaking. I have since separated from him but desperately miss him and inclined to surrender and go back. Please help me do the right thing.
Neve

 

Dear Neve,
Thank you for your inquiry. I would have loved for you to avoid the suffering part of that notion,nonetheless allow me to console you in the fact that the well known cliche'
'Time heals all wounds' is not a cliche at all and actually lives up to one's discomfort each time, without fail. The human mind encompasses the magical ability of 'keeping the good while discarding the bad' so we can proceed safely with the journey of life, that tends to present us with innumerable challenges at times. Albeit a short term relationship,its clear that the emotional impact has been quite intense on you. I would like to praise you for a very bold decision making, ending this unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately during our life course ,we come across men and women that are emotionally unavailable, at times they might  even be utterly oblivious of their 'condition' and so when one tries to carry on a relationship with such an individual, he or she end up carrying the entire weight of it on their shoulders,repeatedly giving and never receiving,or being fed 'crumbs of attention' as I like to call it. A relationship of any sort, romantic or friendly alike, simply can not survive a one sided devotion,it is bound to become unbalanced in no time and thus collapse all together. The man you are describing as your partner appears to be completely unavailable and so even though it seemed like you were having a relationship with him,you actually had one solely with yourself,as his true existence was not there to give and share. You deserve much better, I feel your pain and empathize, if its any consolation,ending the relationship early at least prevent the accumulation of shared experiences ,that could have made it much more difficult to undo later in the relationship. I command you and your strength, get back out there, the good,nourishing relationship you seek is right around the corner!

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Dr.Limor,
I am a 32 year old woman,happy and healthy overall. Recently I have started a relationship with a man around my age and all has been going well. Since I am responsible we have been using contraceptives( mainly condoms) for the past two months,and now during our third month together, we have decided to stop using them after being physically checked and found free of any STDs . Ever since we have started having 'bare' intercourse, I have started acquiring vaginal infections, repeatedly,one goes and another appears, 'sprinkled' with the emergence of the dreadful UTIs. I have been prescribed antibiotics again and again but can't shake the recurrence of these infections ,I started thinking that it might have to do with my current partner. Could he be the source of these recurring infections?? And if so,what would you advise me to do? I feel very uncomfortable bringing it up,especially since we were both tested and found healthy. Please help me.
'Suffering'

Dear 'Suffering',
First,allow me to celebrate your beautiful,supportive relationship that seem to grant you with happiness. Secondly, you evaluation is highly intelligent and most likely pretty accurate. Unfortunately females tend to become a 'vessel' that encompasses infections and physical discomforts in a much more profound, aversive manner than their male counterparts, that said it can definitely be possible that your partner suffers from the existence of the same bacteria in his system, alas only you and your sensitive female system  manifest these painful symptoms that seem to never appear or affect your lover. In regards to STDs, the case might be different as these mostly do have an apparent influence on the male system ,but since you mentioned that wasn't the issue, I'm only using it as a relative to the urgent matter you are dealing with.
My immediate suggestion would definitely be approaching your partner with that matter and accompanying him to his family practitioner ,for some blood and urine samples, possibly even a penile culture exam,so you can have a clearer view of his contribution to your suffering,if any. If his culture comes back positive, he might be prescribed the relevant antibiotics, how simple is that!! Take into consideration that at times these tests might come back negative, what might amount to a very small to irrelevant bacterial existence in your partner, albeit very bothersome to you and your health. I suggest using an over the counter herbal supplement titled 'lactobacillus  acidophilus' that can be purchased at any 'whole foods market'  or pharmacy.
Best of luck!

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com  Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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April 17, 2013 | 11:35 am

Sharing is Caring

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dr.Limor’s Cradle of Love

"Desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs13; 12)

Couples maintaining a long term relationship, be it marriage or any other format of 'couplehood', quite often lose site of the mere notion of its properties; the importance of the TWO that produce a better, stronger ONE- unit.

Consulting each other, listening to one another's opinions and thoughts, sharing ideas and dreams, could amount to a very stable, profound foundation, providing a strong seed that shall blossom fully ,with our life long celebration of sacred,loving appreciation.

Proverbs 3;13-14 mentions the basic essentiality of wisdom and understanding, in our day to day path: 'Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that obtaineth understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold'

And so, with one's comprehension of what is important and what is dispensable in a long term commitment, one must be reminded that impulsiveness, selfishness or ego related decision making, are extremely hazardous to a loving unit.

God speaks to Abraham in a matter of the heart,in Genesis 21;12: 'And God said unto Abraham: 'Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah saith unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall seed be called to thee'!

Utilize these short tips in your relationship and expect a very positive 'heat wave':

• Consult each other: Whether you need a second opinion about the preferable health plan or the next vacation, engaging in a mutual decision making, means that you value your partner's opinion!
• Accept relationship advice only from someone that is genuinely interested in your wellbeing; Avoid assistance from acquaintances that might be influenced, by jealousy or ulterior motives.
• Long term relationships are a boost to our sense of security, but how do we fight the dreadful routine? Try being innovative; anything that will bring excitement, while maintaining each other's esteem and confidence, is a go!
• Don’t argue over monetary matters: yes, you should come to an arrangement of who is paying for what, but once your main discussion evolves around the mighty dollar, you lose your intimacy, trust and comfort. Try creating an understanding around this matter and maintaining it, it's worth a fortune.
• Starting a relationship could be a "walk in the park", maintaining it can get tricky: If you feel like tough times are taking over your relationship, try couples therapy. A subjective opinion from a professional outsider could change and enhance your intimacy.


 

All tips were derived from “365 DAILY TIPS FOR OUTRAGEOUS SEX & INTIMACY” by Dr.Limor Blockman©
Dr.Limor is a renowned Clinical Sex Counselor, Educator, Columnist, Speaker and Author. 
Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health & Community Medicine & a Bachelor’s in Psychology & Behavioral Sciences.


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April 6, 2013 | 8:56 pm

Labor of Love

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Dr.Limor’s Cradle of Love

"Desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs13; 12)

We are well aware that the road to professional content or financial independence is paved with many challenges and sacrifices. Most of us are absolutely willing to go the extra mile, to achieve our life goals. Nonetheless, somewhere along the way we lost track of the crucial sacred work required to achieve or maintain a good relationship. Our ancestors knew and recognized that requirement very well, thus in pre social media days, when we actually needed to confront our friends or enemies, negotiate the most satisfying outcome and win our coveted 'goods', be it a piece of land or our preferred life partner.  The love story of Jacob and Rachel gives us a glimpse into the most basic practice I relate to as 'Labor of Love':

'And Jacob loved Rachel; and he said: 'I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter'(Genesis 29;18)

Apply the tips below to your casual routine and you might just win a life long limerence and satisfaction;

• Rocky experiences in life aren’t good relationship fertilizers: The simplest thing isn’t getting angry repeatedly, but rather lighten up! Avoid taking every comment or gesture too seriously, and if you can, joke about it!
• Don't be too hard on yourself: similar to her menstrual cycle, men have "off days". Pressure, pain & troubled mind, might result in a less potency or low libido.
• your body is a work of ART: lining her ego with a comparison to a beautiful poem, or a breathtaking painting, could work to your advantage!!
• Not all men are handy: but asking him to help you out with changing a light bulb, or fixing a broken door handle, will spur his masculine traits. It will make you closer, as he will feel strong and capable.
• A good relationship is not easy to maintain: it takes a mutual, constant work and devotion. Things are not created automatically, but if you put your mind and heart in it, it is definitely possible; enjoy the outcome!

 

All tips were derived from “365 DAILY TIPS FOR OUTRAGEOUS SEX & INTIMACY” by Dr.Limor Blockman©
Dr.Limor is a renowned Clinical Sex Counselor, Educator, Columnist, Speaker and Author. 
Dr. Limor holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Public Health & Community Medicine & a Bachelor’s in Psychology & Behavioral Sciences. 365 Daily Tips For Outrageous Sex & Intimacy/ 365 Daily Tips for Outrageous Sex & Intimacy-Kindle edition


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