August 2, 2007
What do men want?
Herb Goldberg revisits how guys approach relationships
(Page 2 - Previous Page)Goldberg, 70, mentions that he's been married and divorced three times -- once with a Jewish woman.
"I struggle with those things too," he says. "I would have loved to have been in a good loving relationship with a Jewish woman. I would have loved to have accomplished that. I failed at it."
At the door to his house, Goldberg points out that just down the street lives our mayor, who -- we all know -- has been going through a very public domestic drama.
In "What Men Still Don't Know" there's a section that deals with "masculine addictions" -- the compulsion men have to perform and achieve. For this type of man, writes Goldberg, there's never enough success, power, wealth, control or sexuality.
Such a man -- and there are many -- has a need for intense, fantasy-ridden sexual stimulation "to replace his emotional and personal deadness. Only a manipulative, ego-feeding, sexual novelty rather than a relationship can fill that 'need' and 'turn him on.'"
Goldberg writes that only by working hard to understand and control his masculine addictions, can a man can find pleasure in closeness -- and not just erotic stimulation.
The mayor, of course, is not the only person in the public eye who appears to have masculine addictions. And far from the only politician.
Still, one cannot help but wonder if he might not have benefited from reading his neighbor's book.
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