February 28, 2011
Is Matchmaking a Mitzvah and how many are supposed to accomplish in our lifetime?
Attending a wedding the other week of a couple that I introduced, made me think of the many Mitzvot that we are supposed to perform in our lifetime. Having been somewhat of a Matchmaker since I was in high school, I had never really thought about it as a Mitzvah, or a good deed. All I did was put two souls together, mainly because I had a feeling that they would like each other and hopefully build a life together. But as I sat listening to the Cantor during the wedding talking about the Torah, and the significance of all of us performing a Mitzvah, my husband leaned closer and whispered: “I’m so proud, you made all this happen, yet another Mitzvah!” To tell the truth, it caught me off guard, I had never thought of it that way. My amateur matchmaking had always been a bit of a hobby, on the side of all my other “real” jobs. And as my husband would say, a bit of an annoyance and hindrance to our personal life.
So as I started to ponder about all the people I introduced over the last fifteen years, and realized that a lot of them have continued to stay together, and in this case get married and start a family! I had an epiphany! I was doing a service to the world, I was performing a Mitzvah each time I matched a couple! It only took me about fifteen years to come to this realization… But, then again I am a bit of a slow learner. Then more questions poured into my head… Are we supposed to accomplish a certain number of good deeds in our lifetime? Am I good now? Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love matchmaking, especially when the two people hit it off and continue dating. However, it does not come without its problems.
Some of my past “couples” are eager to share their first meeting with me, along with every detail of their dates after that with its ups and downs, leaving me wanting to “fix” the situation. Others I hardly hear from again until I see a post on Facebook that they are getting married, which brings me to yet another thought. There has to be some kind of an etiquette when it comes to using a matchmaker, especially my kind of a matchmaker, a.k.a the free kind! If I introduced you two, and somewhere down the line you decide to get married, along with your first phone calls to Mothers, Fathers, Sisters and Brothers, shouldn’t I be in there somewhere well before Facebook, Shmacebook, Twitter and whatever else? Is it just me or does something feel a little odd about having to find out on Facebook that the couple you set up is getting married? Again, maybe its just me.
I also get my husband involved in it, which he happily goes along with screening people with me, trying to look for single and available bachelors at his work, gym, basketball league, etc… Poor guy is so tired of me waking him up a 2 a.m., only to hear me squeal with excitement because I thought of a girl for my single guy!
So, going back to my original question: Is Matchmaking a Mitzvah? And how many Mitzvot are we as human beings, and Jews are supposed to perform to be good with the man above? Or does it not work that way in Judaism…