Posted by Julia Bendis
I really don’t understand what’s all the bruhaha all about! Why is everyone so upset with Ricky Gervais, and his performance at the Golden Globes? Last time I checked, Ricky Gervais was a Comedian, and the Golden Globes committee hired him to host the show knowing that he is a Comedian, right? I am pretty sure they also knew that he is British, as well as his comedic style and sense of humor, right? It doesn’t just change overnight. He did the same thing last year as well. People, what is the big deal? I could be totally wrong about this, but I am pretty sure that Comedians are supposed to make people laugh, make fun of people, things and events, especially actors and celebrities. So, when Ricky made fun of celebrities at the Golden Globes for their own stupid behavior, was that not funny? I thought it was. People are saying that it was inappropriate and tasteless, but I couldn’t agree with that less! I think he was dead on, and furthermore funnier than every other host of that show or any awards show altogether! Jon Stewart tried it, and was funny but not edgy enough for my taste. Ellen DeGeneres was so-so, staying on neutral subjects and trying not to cross the line. That’s not comedy, that’s censorship. I want outrageous, tasteless, edgy, hysterical, dark humor! I don’t think I am alone in that.
Are we not supposed to laugh at the stupid lives of these so-called celebrities? Are we not supposed to laugh at their lavish lifestyles, multiple nannies, housekeepers, chefs, and personal trainers to make their lives “easier”, only to find them unable to manage their personal lives, get arrested over and over for public intoxication, driving drunk, hurt those around them, and finally end up in jail or rehab? Of course we are supposed to laugh at that. How else are they ever going to learn?
I absolutely loved seeing the actors faces when he was talking about them, it was priceless. Priceless, I tell you! Talking about the characters in the Tourist movie being 2-dimensional was genius, not tacky. Even I had to take a moment to think about that one, and you know that’s a good joke if that happens. What about his introduction of Robert Downey Jr.? Yes, it was crude but so what? Downey is constantly making fun of himself. For instance, a few minutes before the show started, as he was walking down the red carpet he made an obscene joke to a reporter about his drinking and rehab days.
If the guy can make fun of himself, he can definitely take a joke from a comedian. All of them can, they are not called Public figures for nothing!
So all of you straight arrows out there, take a chill pill (does anyone say that anymore?), buy yourself some sense of humor, and laugh a little!
9.6.13 at 11:40 am | We all want and need love and to be in a. . .
9.6.13 at 11:33 am | Only time heals all wounds, and in this case I. . .
8.7.13 at 2:44 pm | Constant negativity and judging is what's keeping. . .
4.8.13 at 10:49 am | Julia Bendis gets interviewed by the Orange. . .
11.8.12 at 10:25 am | Match by Julia matchmaking website
7.31.12 at 8:03 pm | Matchmaking done right! Individual, personal,. . .
12.23.11 at 12:47 pm | Getting Christmas cards this time of year instead. . . (46)
4.11.11 at 2:07 pm | What a concert! Porn, sex, S & M, rock and all. . . (20)
5.15.11 at 6:07 pm | Adopting babies in foreign lands equals cool. . . (5)
January 18, 2011 | 1:09 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
People like me should Not be on Facebook! When you go to Facebook site to sign up, there should be a giant disclaimer that says: “For tough skin people only! People that are overly sensitive, wear their heart and feelings on their sleeves, and drama queens should NOT sign up!”
Let me explain. Sometimes when I log into my Facebook account, I notice one of my so-called “friends” had a party, with photos plastered all over their ‘wall’. “Why wasn’t I invited?”, runs through my head. Now, I am not saying that I have to be included in everything, and all your events. However, if you know me, you would know that I HAVE to be included in everything and ALL your events! If I don’t get an invitation, I seriously have a physical reaction and according to my husband, it ain’t pretty.
Most likely, I won’t even show up to your party or even want to go, but I want that invitation. I have to know that I am always wanted and needed for everything: organizing protests, organizing a party, planning any and all kinds of events, whether its a birthday celebration, a stake-out or a protest advocating something…
I need to be involved in everything, and anything. The majority of people in my life will say that I have pins in my ass, that I can never sit still even if my life depended on it. That’s my problem. I always have to be doing something. Facebook is definitely not for people like me. It is for people that generally don’t care whether they get invited to a birthday party, they are only interested in accumulating “friends”. The more, the better. They don’t care that they will never speak to them in person, or over the phone, they don’t care about their “friends” lives. Its all about bragging, bragging and some more bragging.
See when I heard about Facebook, I was so excited. To me, it meant that I get to reconnect with old pals from Russia, and relatives that are all over the world. Facebook may have started out that way, but it sure isn’t that way anymore.
It literally is all about: look at me, listen to me, look at my adorable baby at 1 month, 1 month and 2 days, 1 month and 3 days…
Seriously, there are people that do just that! It got so annoying that I started deleting people off my Facebook page. By now, most people know that if you piss me off, I will just delete you. What gets me even more fired up is this: I am at Costco with the family, from the corner of my eye I notice someone that is on my “friends” list on Facebook. I have not seen this person in about 15 years, but somehow we found each other on Facebook. This person looks straight at me, and proceeds to walk right past me like I he doesn’t know me. Don’t you think that if you are on someone’s Facebook page, you at least should come up and say ‘hello’, just as a courtesy? Yes, you should!
I realized that its time I started doing inventory of my so-called “friends” on Facebook, and in the process cutting them lose. I can totally hear you saying right now, “What he hell is the point of having a Facebook account if all you do is complain about it?”. My point exactly… I think its time we parted ways, for the third time…
January 14, 2011 | 2:58 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
Reading the newspaper the other day, I couldn’t help but notice an article about the Russian President Dimitry Medvedev and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently, the two have become quite fond of each other, and as recently as last week even Tweeted about it.
Here are my issues with that. Its not enough that our wonderful “Governator” ruined the State of California, made our budget crisis even bigger, took funds away from schools and gave it to prisons, but now he is planning to do “business” with the Russian President? Russian government is already corrupt, and morally disfigured. It sure does not need another idiot like Schwarzenegger meddling with its economy, and trying to “go into business” with its President. Am I wrong? No, I am not.
What could those two possibly have in common? Well, apparently they are making a “play date” to go skiing together as well as Schwarzenegger helping Medvedev in creating Russia’s own Silicone Valley. Is it just me, or does that seem a bit odd? What the hell does “Governator” know about the tech world? Or for that matter, what does he know about the business world? Just because you used to make action films, have a famous wife, and have dabbled in some home purchases over the years, does not make you an expert on building a Tech Empire! He really should learn how to speak and write first. Have you listened to some of his so-called speeches? He can’t even formulate a sentence, without going off on some random tangent. For example, a few months ago he was supposed to be speaking about our education, and changes that were being made. Do you know what he started talking about? He went on and on about his Mother and Father, and how they always “kiss and hug me when I was a little boy in Austria. Even when we went out to the field, they always kiss and hug, kiss and hug, always. Before we went to school, they kiss and hug, kiss and hug. Today, parents don’t kiss and hug their kids. My parents always kiss and hug all of us, always kiss and hug.” You have to read it with a big Austrian/German accent for better result!
For the next ten minutes that’s all he talked about. Someone from his staff finally whispered into his ear, and he went on to another topic. I swear that guy is the last person you want “building” anything with!
And what is it with Russians being so enamored by American movie stars, especially the old ones, the ones that haven’t made anything in the past decade? The older, the better… I really don’t get that friendship. Is there something there that I don’t see?
January 10, 2011 | 12:57 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
Being at a car dealership this weekend, to finally get the recalled part on my car fixed, reminded me how much I truly enjoy car dealerships. Not only do I NOT mind haggling with the salesmen on a price, I look forward to it. After all, I am my father’s daughter. That same father that took me to a Saturn dealership for my first car, not just any car, my dream car. I wanted the two-door, sports coupe, with a sun-roof, a back spoiler and in a bright red color! I didn’t get either, but we got a killer deal on a Gold-colored sedan… Here is a little how the haggling went down:
Salesman: The total for this car, with tax and license will be $10,000.
My Dad: I will give you $5,000!
Salesman: Sir, we don’t negotiate on the sales price. Saturn dealerships have already low set prices.
My Dad: I tell you what I am going to do. I am going to write you a check for $5,000. We are going to get some lunch, and when we get back, you will have the car all washed and ready for us.
Salesman: Sir, like I JUST said, we do not negotiate on the price. I will give you some time to think about this.
As he walks away, my Father stands up to leave. At 16, my world is about to come crashing down on me! I can’t believe I will walk out of yet another dealership without a car. I beg my dad to come back, and promise to pay for my own insurance, gas and anything else that he wants. At that point, I didn’t care how far from my dream this car was, I just wanted A car, any car. We go back.
Salesman: Oh, good you decided to take the car!
My Dad: Yes, I will take the car, but I am not paying for taxes and license!
Salesman: Sir, the law requires for you to pay the taxes and registration fees on the car. There is nothing I can do about it.
My Dad: You can pay the tax and registration for me.
Salesman: Um, no I can’t. That’s the buyers responsibility. Sir, do you want the car or not? I work on commission, and I have already spent half the day with you…
My Dad: Well, there you go! You can pay for my taxes and registration out of the commission that you will make from me buying this car!
Salesman: Sir, I don’t make that much… But, let me see what I can do.
So after about 6 hours at the dealership, we finally walked out with a car. My dad beaming from ear to ear, the salesman pissed off, and me learning a valuable lesson. I learned that if you just sit there long enough, push your price on them long enough, in the end you WILL wear them down! See, what the sales people don’t understand is that I have all the time in the world to sit there and haggle with them. The more time they spend on me, means less money they make that day… I have no problem sitting there, eating their free cookies, drinking their free sodas and coffee! I can make a picnic out of it, bring the kids with their annoying, loud toys, squeaking animals, and have them empty out the whole vending machine. We can have breakfast, lunch and dinner there. All I have to do is give my kids the signal to be annoying, and the whole showroom will be empty in a matter of seconds.
My kids are talented that way, they can go from cute to annoying within a matter of a few seconds. It really comes in handy when you want people to do things your way, especially at the Doctor’s offices. But… that’s a whole other article. Stay tuned for that.
January 6, 2011 | 3:04 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
Most people know, I am not a big sports fan. Sure I like to watch an occasional basketball game, only because every TV in the house has been hijacked to watch the Cleveland Cavaliers get their asses handed to them, yet again, by every single team in the NBA. But, that’s for later…
Until I met my husband, I didn’t even know what baseball was. I saw it on TV a few times, but had no idea what the hell was going on, or why men would wear such unflattering, tight pants and run around in a circle every single fricking time. I had no idea that straight, gorgeous men could have such a fascination with balls.
Unfortunately for me, I met my husband during the World Series of baseball in August of 1997, and him being from Cleveland was even more unfortunate (as I learned later)! After dating for a couple months, he told me that he was going to visit his parents in Cleveland, which was a little strange since we had just started dating. He did say that he was mostly going because the World Series games were to be played there. First of all, I didn’t know that going to “the World Series” meant going to watch a baseball game. I heard the words “world” and “series”, and assumed it was some kind of a international TV show or competition. Him working in the entertainment industry, somehow it all made sense to me. Second, when he tried to explain to me (for the fifth time), that it was a very important baseball event, and each team had to qualify to be in this event over the course of the season, all I kept hearing was: “Blah, Blah, Blabety Blah, Cleveland, Blah, Blah haven’t won Championship since the 1700’s.” And to tell the truth, that’s as far as I cared.
I never really understood what the big deal was about. I came from Russia, we didn’t have this obsession with sports unless you were the one actually playing for the Soviet team! And of course if Russia was playing United States, then we cared.
But as the time went on, and he would tell me stories about his 80-year-old Grandma screaming, and cussing at the TV when the Indians were loosing, I started to get the feeling that he was no ordinary sports fan. He was a Cleveland Fan! You know what that means? That means that no matter what is going on in your life, whether your wife is about to give birth to your first child or not, you plan around the Indians schedule! That means that if your wife is going to the hospital on October 31st, and the Indians are still in the World Series, you bring the radio with you, you find the closest waiting room with a working TV, and in between contractions you tell her that you’ll be back, because you have to check the score. And apparently, as the wife of a Cleveland fanatic, I have agreed to accept the part in our marriage vows that said: ” I agree to leave my husband alone when any Cleveland team is in the Finals, and never be upset if he ONLY answers those questions that have to do with sports. Any other questions will be asked, and answered after Cleveland has lost.”
I truly do get that never-ending love for your city, that undying love that makes you stick by your team even if they haven’t won a championship since you were minus one. I really do. Every time I visit Cleveland, I am still amazed at the amount of team t-shirts, sweatshirts and jerseys that are so abundant everywhere you go! Everyone is wearing some kind of Cleveland or Ohio paraphernalia, the young, the old, even babies come out of the hospital wearing their first Ohio State jerseys. They are truly the best fans any city has ever had! That’s not to say that here in L.A. we don’t have great fans, they just come in the form of transplants that lost their faith in their own city, so they decided to pick a team out of a hat and Wuala, L.A. was the one. But not the Cleveland fans, they stick with their teams til the end! They take it to their graves, sometimes literally.
Thirteen years later, I have finally come to terms that with now 3 boys in the house, I am better off getting a new hobby during baseball season, renting a small apartment down the street, or learning to sit next to them while they watch sports, with giant headphones and my laptop, of course.
So, as they say in Cleveland, “wait until next year” to see if my boys suddenly become un-interested in sports…
January 4, 2011 | 6:05 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
Don’t you just love when you visit a Doctor, and he tells you to go ahead and call him if you need anything else? I am still pretty shocked when I hear any Doctor say that, since most of them want you to come back, pay money, and THEN they will answer your questions, even if you’ve already seen him the day before… for the same thing.
What they don’t tell you is that you will NEVER get through to them, when you call! See, they have developed a great firewall, as in a computer firewall. When a patient calls trying to speak to the Doctor, a defense mechanism by the name of “front-desk-Judy” comes up to block you. “Oh, you really really need to speak to the Dr.? Sorry, he is in with a patient right now. Oh, he told you to call him? I understand, and will leave him yet another message that you called. Yes, I see here that you called prior to this annoying call, but he was at lunch then. And yes, we are only open from 9 to 4, and we take an hour lunch from 12 to 1, but don’t answer our phones until about 1:30 or so, and today we are leaving early. Why? The Dr. has a dinner appointment with his wife. Why don’t we just make an appointment for you to come in tomorrow, and he will answer any questions you may have! Yes, that will cost you another co-pay, and yes most likely he will be running late since we are getting in a little late tomorrow.”
Either way, you are screwed.
You see, I finally found a perfect Jewish Doctor in Orange County. He really is perfect, not only because he will sit and chat with you, but also tell you all about his family! When he is done talking about his everyday struggles with his children, and the trials and tribulations of his third marriage, he does occasionally look at whatever it is that brought you into his office. After which, he asks what it is that you would like for him to do to fix the problem…
Well, I am no Doctor but I think some kind of an anti-biotic would work just fine! What do YOU think, Doctor?
What’s even better about my wonderful, Jewish Doctor is that I recently found out that he is Canadian. Yes, that country above us that for some reason thinks its an Actual country of its own! Now, no need for hate mail, I love Canada! Really, I do. I even have some relatives that live there. People are very nice, and super friendly and I don’t have a single problem with them. However, I am not so sure about their Medical professionals…
Oh wait, that’s not the best part. Here it comes. I recently found out that my Jewish, Canadian doctor also went to school in Mexico! Yeap, that country right below us. Again, I have no problem with that country either. People are even nicer than Canadians, hard workers, always eager to help, etc, etc, etc…
I am starting to understand his willingness to give me whatever I want, whenever I want it. I am also starting to understand the shady hours of operation. What I don’t understand is why can’t I find the perfect, Jewish Doctor…
To read more on my quest to find the perfect Doctor, please visit my blog at: http://easternblocklox.wordpress.com
January 3, 2011 | 5:28 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
Let’s talk about Vests. Maybe I am the only person that doesn’t get this, but what is the point of a Vest? And more importantly, what the hell is the point of a warm winter jacket if its missing sleeves! I don’t get it.
If you need a warm jacket or coat to keep you warm, what in world would possess you to buy one that has no sleeves??? Let’s follow this logic:
- You go to a store to buy a warm jacket.
- You walk around looking at various ones.
- Oh look, here is a pretty one.
- Oh look, it has no sleeves. Perfect.
- My whole upper body will be nice and warm, but my arms will be freezing. Perfect.
- I’m buying it!
Really? I don’t care how cute it is, or how much fur it has, you step outside in that thing in 50 degree weather, you will be sorry some idiot cut off the arms on it.
To read more of my useless articles of clothing, and other rants check out my blog: http://easternblocklox.wordpress.com
January 2, 2011 | 9:31 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
* As usual, Nik (the 5 year old) was taking forever in the bathroom. I yelled out to him: “Are you OK? Did you fall in the toilet?” “No Mommy, ONLY my butt fell in the toilet! But, its OK. I pulled it out!”
* As we were all driving one day, a car cuts us off. I yell out: “Why is that guy an idiot?” My 11-year-old, Tyler: “I don’t know, Mom. Why is a pickle green?”
* My 5-year-old has started to take a shower on his own, with my husband or I watching in the bathroom, and making sure he cleans everything. One day, while he was in the shower my husband was telling him to make sure to wash his behind well. As Nikolas was about to do it: “Oh, this ain’t gonna be pretty!”
* On the plane a few months ago:
Me: Would you like some beef jerky?
My kid: Yea yea beef jerky!
He starts eating.
My kid: “Oh, its spicy, I need water”
Me: I don’t have any water
My kid: Well why did you give me this then?
Me: Not sure. Spit it out.
My kid: I need a napkin!
Me: Ooh lucky for you I found a napkin
My kid: No, no – lucky for you.
* When Nikolas was taking a very long time in the bathroom one night, my husband asked him if he was alright, if his stomach was hurting, and if it was diarrhea. He looks in the toilet, looks up: “Oh, its your lucky day, Daddy!”
* My son didn’t want the Oats on the Oat Bran muffin, so my husband started to scrape them off. He finished, and our Nik says: “That’s good enough, Dad. You can take a break now!”
* Nik wanted to have the leftover Halloween candy, and was trying to get it. Me: “Oh, don’t eat that, its a month-old!” My kid: “No, you are a month-old!” He thought I was calling him a baby.
* While trying to clean up the house, the little one kept whining that no one is giving him anything to do. It was getting on my nerves, me: “What’s with you?” My kid: “Stop saying that, there is Nothing WITH me, I don’t have anything WITH me!”
* We asked our oldest, Tyler (who was 9 yrs at the time), to do us a favor and give a shower to his little brother (4 at the time), kind of as a joke. Really didn’t think that he would actually do it. He obviously took it as a way to make a quick buck… We got this (see a photo to the right) as our bill of services rendered!
* We let Tyler (10 at the time) ride his bike down to the neighborhood park, with his friends. After he got back home, I asked him, “Tyler did you guys stay at the park the whole time?”. Rolling his eyes at me, “No, Mom. We went to the bar, had a few beers, you know, the usual!”
* “Mom, when you were a little boy in Russia, did you speak English?”. “You mean: when I was a little GIRL in Russia”, “no Mom, I SAID, when you were a little BOY in Russia! Everyone is born a Boy, and then some turn into girls!”