September 22, 2011 | 6:47 pm
Posted by Julia Bendis
My phone rings. I answer.
- Hello Ma’am. My name is Blah Blah (I’m not good with names, can’t remember what the hell he said) from Avis Heating and Air conditioning. I’d like to talk to you about your heating system. Would you be alright with that?
- Sure, I would be alright with talking to you about my Hot Box, as long as you would be alright with a $1,000 fine for talking to me about it, since I’m on a “Do Not Call List” and all…
- Um, no Ma’am I would not be alright with that. And I didn’t call about your “hot box”, I called about your Heating system.
- Oh no? Well, maybe you should have thought about checking that list before calling me. See the thing is that I’m usually very nice to telemarketers especially when I have the time to listen to them, but now you pissed me off.
- How did I piss you off Ma’am?
- Well, you did it again just now; you called me Ma’am.
- I called you Ma’am?
- Yes, you called me Ma’am. Did you forget? Not sure if you are aware but I am a very young and energetic young lady who enjoys life, dancing and long walks on the beach preferably with a very hot, young thing who is not wearing a shirt. Or pants. I am not very picky. I would prefer a shirt and no pants, but I can roll with anything. I know that’s typically what a girl wears in all those chick flicks, a long men’s shirt and no pants, but I kinda think a hot guy would look good like that also. What do you think?
- Ma’am, I mean Miss… I am not sure why you are telling me this, and I probably should be going now…
- Why? Do you have something more important to do besides listen to a crazy chick fantasize?
- No, no Paul. Now you will listen to me.
- My name is Blah Blah.
- OK, Peter. I guess I better let you go. My Hot Box is making some strange sounds, need to check it out.
- It’s Blah Blah, Miss.
- Shut up.
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