Jewish Journal

S**T Gentiles say to Jews…

by Julia Bendis

February 2, 2012 | 3:25 pm

After one of my hissy fits over yet another moronic comment by a non-Jew, I decided it was time to sit down and write out ALL of the idiotic things I’ve heard over the years.  So, strap on your seat-belts, lean back, relax and enjoy:

  • I hope you don’t take this personally, but if I ever need a blood transfusion I won’t be able to accept yours since you have Jewish blood, and I don’t want that.

  • I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Jesus’ Birthday, right?  After all, he was Jewish.  Did you know that?

  • Do all Jews have a lot of money?

  • You must know a cheap nail salon being Jewish and all! (nail, hair, you name it).

  • Are you only allowed to date Jewish men?

  • I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Easter, right?  After all, it was YOUR people that killed him.

  • Oh I know a lot about Jewish people, the Old Testament really isn’t that different from the Bible.

  • You are Jewish? How cute! My step-Father’s Uncle was Jewish. But then he became a Christian.

  • You are Jewish? Oh well, that’s OK. My neighbor is Jewish, he is a lawyer. His name has something like Stein or Wein or Berg in it. Do you know him?

  • I just love how you people are so good with money!

  • I’m so sorry that you won’t be going to Heaven. But its not too late, you can still be saved if you just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior! (I don’t even know what that means).

  • I know you are Jewish and all that, but do you want to come to Church with me? They won’t get mad that I brought a Jew, I promise. Christians are very accepting people, they don’t judge (yeah right).

  • When I said Jewish people are cheap, I meant it in a good way.  You people are very good with money!

  • Do all Jewish people have to learn to speak Hebrew?

  • Why don’t Jewish people recruit, like the Christians? I’ve never seen a Jew asking a non-Jew to come to Temple with him, why is that? (because we don’t want or need you)

  • Do all Jewish men make great husbands?  You know because they are so good with money, and you never have to worry about it…

  • Your Father must be rich!

  • You must know of great deals for everything!

I would love to hear some of yours, so I can add it to the list.

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I was born in Ukraine, in the former USSR, and grew up in Riga, Latvia which is on the Baltic Sea.  My family and I immigrated to the United States in 1989, right before the...

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