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Jewish Journal

Angelina Jolie’s Tattoos.

by Julia Bendis

May 15, 2011 | 6:07 pm

Angelina Jolie's body art

As I looked at pictures of Angelina Jolie’s tattoos, I couldn’t help but want to get some more of my own.  The longitude and latitude ink of her childrens’ bithplaces looks so neat on her arm.  But not wanting to be a copy cat, I thought of putting actual names of cities where my kids were born.  I started to write out Laguna Hills, California in a really neat font.  Somehow Orange County just doesn’t have the same ring to, oh let’s say Namibia, Africa or Cambodia, Vietnam.  Maybe if I make it ITALIC?  Nope, still looks stupid.  How about BOLD, ITALIC and in RUSSIAN?  Nope, can’t really spell out Laguna Hills in Russian.  And it still looks idiotic, almost as bad as a dolphin tattoo on a blond bimbo’s ankle.

Why oh why couldn’t I had my children in a foreign and dangerous place?  Why couldn’t I orchestrated and calculated such cool far-away places with neat sounding names, for some awesome looking tats later?  Darn it, I just wasn’t thinking.  Would it have killed me to get on a plane to Ethiopia a week before I was due, and have my baby in a jungle?  Sure it would, but think about how cool my tattoos would have been!  I could’ve picked up a couple orphans while I was at it too.  Sure I don’t have the millions that she does, but she swears she doesn’t have a Nanny or help of any kind for her fifteen children, just her and Brad!  Not only would I have gained a baby daughter, but again think of all the cool longitude and latitude I could put on my back!

In conclusion, adopting kids from far away lands makes for some awesome body art!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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I was born in Ukraine, in the former USSR, and grew up in Riga, Latvia which is on the Baltic Sea.  My family and I immigrated to the United States in 1989, right before the...

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