February 29, 2012 | 10:11 pm

Proper etiquette for social media!

Posted by Julia Bendis

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Prior to Twitter, and Mark Zuckerberg’s brilliant invention of Facebook (hopefully you can feel the sarcasm), or even texting on our phones, people used to have manners.  Not only manners, but some form of global etiquette when it came to dealing with others.  I truly believe that with each of the above mentioned inventions, we have become dumber, lazier, and completely ill-mannered when it comes to normal human behavior.

Gone are the days when people used to call each other to find out how the other is doing, but rather text, Tweet or my personal favorite… Facebook message posted directly to the person’s wall; so not only can that individual read it but so can everyone else learn that he/she is recovering from explosive diarrhea.  And not only that, but now the universal “Hello, how are you?” has completely vanished from the conversation!  We get right to the point: “You got the kids?”, “What’s for dinner?”, “Get milk!”  No hello’s, good-bye’s, nothing.  Just straight down to business.  It’s taking me a very long time to get used to this new way of communicating, and as one friend put it… “stop treating every text message as a letter, and get to the point.”  Its taking a long while for me, and until then everyone will continue to receive my every text, Tweet, or Facebook post that starts off as a formal letter to the Queen.

The other thing that people seem to unable to learn is that unless you like having enemies, you need to stop posting things like: “I can’t wait for my party later, cooking up some yummy stuff!”, and “Can’t wait to share my new drink recipe with everyone tonight! This will be the best party ever!”  Like, Oh My God we get it, you have five hundred friends and you are throwing the “best party ever” without actually inviting people from your Facebook; however unless you are ready to greet ALL of those five hundred friends at your door in a couple of hours, I’d refrain from posting crap like that.  Do people actually enjoy getting comments such as: “Hey, where is my invite?”  and ‘Why wasn’t I invited?”  Do you feel like shit yet?  How about now?  I feel you are getting there very slowly.  Where are people’s manners…  Or is it all just so they have something to boast and brag about; showcase their mad skills of throwing a party…

How about those idiots that call in sick at work, hacking up God-knows what into the phone all the while posting a picture of themselves on a surfboard to Twitter/Facebook?  Did you forget that your boss is one of your so-called-’friends’ on Facebook?  I guess so.  My list can go on and on.  People, please learn proper social media etiquette already.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Me.

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February 22, 2012 | 9:00 pm

From the mouths of the babes…

Posted by Julia Bendis

Somehow I’ve known all along that kids don’t stay kids for long (I know I’m a genius), but I didn’t expect to get ‘educated’ about various sexual subjects by a twelve-year-old boy.  More importantly… my twelve-year-old boy.  When this school year started, so did the questions, comments and many many talks about girls.  And recently he started to offer his version of what sex is, how and why it’s done.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy that he is talking about it at all and especially with me, however he seems to be not only extremely opinionated but also very confident in his understanding of sexual activities…  Today he announced that he understands why boys are always supposed to do nice things for girls, but you never see girls doing anything nice for the boys.  When I asked why that is he whispered: “Girls do nice things for the boys in the bedroom, Mom!”

Not only did I throw up in my mouth a little upon hearing this, I also decided that as much as I wanted to know where, how and who told him that, I probably should end the conversation instead…  Unfortunately for me, my son was not about to let it go as he continued to inform me that he is about to be a man (with his impending Bar Mitzvah coming up), and therefore has the right to talk about sex!  God help me.  So, I went ahead against my better judgement and asked where he heard that, to which he immediately replied: “My friend Michael!  He knows everything Mom”.

Oh well, when you got a friend like Michael… who needs proper sex education?

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February 2, 2012 | 3:25 pm

S**T Gentiles say to Jews…

Posted by Julia Bendis

After one of my hissy fits over yet another moronic comment by a non-Jew, I decided it was time to sit down and write out ALL of the idiotic things I’ve heard over the years.  So, strap on your seat-belts, lean back, relax and enjoy:

• I hope you don’t take this personally, but if I ever need a blood transfusion I won’t be able to accept yours since you have Jewish blood, and I don’t want that.


• I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Jesus’ Birthday, right?  After all, he was Jewish.  Did you know that?


• Do all Jews have a lot of money?


• You must know a cheap nail salon being Jewish and all! (nail, hair, you name it).


• Are you only allowed to date Jewish men?


• I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Easter, right?  After all, it was YOUR people that killed him.


• Oh I know a lot about Jewish people, the Old Testament really isn’t that different from the Bible.


• You are Jewish? How cute! My step-Father’s Uncle was Jewish. But then he became a Christian.


• You are Jewish? Oh well, that’s OK. My neighbor is Jewish, he is a lawyer. His name has something like Stein or Wein or Berg in it. Do you know him?


• I just love how you people are so good with money!


• I’m so sorry that you won’t be going to Heaven. But its not too late, you can still be saved if you just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior! (I don’t even know what that means).


• I know you are Jewish and all that, but do you want to come to Church with me? They won’t get mad that I brought a Jew, I promise. Christians are very accepting people, they don’t judge (yeah right).


• When I said Jewish people are cheap, I meant it in a good way.  You people are very good with money!


• Do all Jewish people have to learn to speak Hebrew?


• Why don’t Jewish people recruit, like the Christians? I’ve never seen a Jew asking a non-Jew to come to Temple with him, why is that? (because we don’t want or need you)


• Do all Jewish men make great husbands?  You know because they are so good with money, and you never have to worry about it…


• Your Father must be rich!


• You must know of great deals for everything!

I would love to hear some of yours, so I can add it to the list.

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