October 14, 2007 | 6:23 pm

U CAN HAZ BIBLE

Posted by JewishJournal.com

The Internets seem to generate phresh pop culture phenoms on a regular basis. The dancing baby, the Kiss Me Turk, All Your Base Belong to Us, and Chris Crocker (who inspired our immensely popular YouTube video “Leave Israel Alone”) are just a few.

One of this year’s most visited Web sites is LOLCat.com, the home of funny cat pictures (hence LOL—Internets slang for ‘laughing out loud’).

The phenom has spread Web-wide.  People sell LOLCats style chachkas on CafePress.com, and create LOLCat videos to share on YouTube..

But why stop there? (And don’t hate us for our freedom.)

The latest is a Web-wide volunteer project to translate the Bible into LOLCat.

Here’s the beginning of Bereshit (Genesis):

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, An he maded the skiez An da earths, but he no eated it.
2 The earths wus witout shapez An wus dark An scary An stufs, An he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.
4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, An seperatered the lite form dark An stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark An not tripz ovr nethin. an cieling cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.
5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. Teh evning An morning was teh first day.

Women friends tell me Shir HaShirim is extra special, too:

1. Solomones Songz of Songz, kthx.
Teh Beluved.
2. Let him kiss me wit da kissus of hiz mouf—for yer love be moar delitefool den cheezbugers. Srsly.
3. Yu has a smell I likez; yer name is like smellz poorded out. Deh oter sluts luv yu too!
4. Take me wit yu plz, come on! Letz go! the king bringme into hiz chamburz, k?

LOL!

—Dennis Wilen, AKA The Web Guy

October 11, 2007 | 3:23 pm

Let there be Subway

Posted by JewishJournal.com

I’ve waited my entire life for this moment—the opening of a kosher Subway—seriously. 

As a nice Jewish boy growing up in a kosher home, when Subway was the topic, my religion had always said no—but my heart always yearned for yes.

So when I heard about LA’s first kosher Subway, it was finally time to listen to my heart and fulfill my lifelong destiny of eating a meatball sub.

Mmmmmmmmm—meatballs!

—Jay Firestone

2 Comments — Leave your comment

October 10, 2007 | 12:58 am

Where is the Muslim Adam Sandler?

Posted by The Web Guy

Ahmed Soliman blogs:

The Eid holiday is upon us—the annual Muslim holiday that marks the end of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. It’s a festive occasion in which the fast ends, charity is given, and everyone is in a good mood.

I love Eid. I love the cookies my mother makes, and I love going to the Mosque and seeing friends
that I haven’t seen in a long time. But there is one thing that always makes me take pause— why don’t the rest of my non-Muslim, fellow Americans acknowledge this holiday too?

Unlike Christmas, at Eid time people in this country don’t acknowledge the Eid holiday. While American mosques get crowded by millions of Muslims across the country looking to do their Eid prayers, the majority Muslim countries of the world do far more than that (lights, songs, and school holidays). But in America, if you turn on the TV, there are no ‘Happy Eid’ wishes from the stations—and you never hear an ‘Eid’ song on the radio.

Adam Sandler is a Jewish American movie actor who can identify with a lack of recognition for his religious holiday. He recorded a jocular Hanukah song that empathizes with any Jewish American who feels left out of Christmas, and reminds them of all the famous Americans who celebrate Hanukah also. But at least Sandler can say that everyone knows what Hanukah is.

Until you guys find a Muslim Adam Sandler, Happy Eid to all—from your cousins @ JewishJournal.com!

—Dennis Wilen

2 Comments — Leave your comment

October 2, 2007 | 4:59 pm

Video: Orit from Israel says ‘Leave Israel Alone!’

Posted by JewishJournal.com

Inspired by Chris Crocker’s infamous and passionate YouTube appeal for people to leave Britney alone after her bad performance at the MTV 2007 Music Video Awards, Orit from Israel makes this passionate video appeal: LEAVE ISRAEL ALONE!

Says Orit: This video is for anyone who dares bash Israel and demand Israel make more concessions. [STRONG LANGUAGE]

The original ‘Leave Britney Alone’ video

1 Comments — Leave your comment

October 1, 2007 | 9:50 pm

57% of Internet users watch videos online, including me

Posted by JewishJournal.com

The majority of adult internet users in the U.S. (57%) report watching or downloading some type of online video content and 19% do so on a typical day; this includes 66% of those with high-speed connections at home and fully three-quarters of broadband users (74%) who enjoy high-speed connections at both home and work. News content is the most popular genre with every age group except for those ages 18-29. Overall, 37% of adult internet users say they watch news videos, followed closely by comedy or humorous videos at 31%. But young adults (those ages 18-29) are among the most voracious video viewers and, for them, comedy is a bigger draw, with 56% watching humorous videos, compared with 43% of internet users ages 18-29 who say they watch news videos.

That’s according to the Pew Internet Report so you know it must have some kind of credibility, even though on the Internets nothing is true and everything is possible.

Here are a few recent videos that caught my eye:

Neil Gaiman tells a rabbi joke

The Torah Song (not a llama in sight)

What appears to be a Romanian TV news report about an ad campaign for Israeli tourism

And the last Jew in Afghanistan—from Al Jazeera

If you like these, there’s lots more on the JewishJournal.com youTube Channel!

—Dennis Wilen

1 Comments — Leave your comment

September 27, 2007 | 3:45 pm

How much do eight chicken breasts weigh and other questions

Posted by JewishJournal.com

No doubt about it, JewishJournal.com is a Web resource for seekers of all sorts of information.

They search, they click, they visit, and sometimes—if they’re lucky—they find what they’re looking for.

Here are some of today’s searches, and the answers they thought they found:

What country are Yiddish people from?

Is there a holiday today?

Who was that French mime who died?

How much do eight large chicken breasts weigh?

Where can I buy Weepuls?

What’s it all about, Alfie?

—Dennis Wilen

0 Comments — Leave your comment

September 20, 2007 | 6:24 pm

Sandy Koufax kippah—sports memorabilia that won’t get you arrested *

Posted by The Web Guy

I’ve partied with rock stars and played poker with Hollywood heroes but I’m a fan of only one celebrity—Sandy Koufax.

When Sandy refused to pitch on Yom Kippur during the 1965 World Series (the Dodgers won anyhow) he became an instant hero to Jewish boys like me across America.

And with all the bullshit coverage from Vegas over sports memorabilia from a murderer, I was happy to find a new Koufax memento for sale—his yarmulke (Jewish skullcap, or ‘kippah’ in Hebrew) is up for auction on on eBay. (Sold! for $91 Wednesday night.)

The seller offers this story of its provenance:

My husband and uncle got to talking about baseball last Rosh Hashanah, when my uncle mentioned that he had a unique item for us. In the early 70’s he lived in Ellsworth, Maine. Koufax was apparently a part-time resident of the town and in 1971 showed up at a wedding in nearby Bangor where the closest Synagogue was.

My uncle quietly approached Mr. Koufax after the service and asked for his autograph. Koufax politely declined but my uncle got the next best thing- the yarmulke he was wearing! [For the gentiles out there, most synagogues have loaner yarmulkes for the skull-capless to wear during the ceremony and return afterwards.] When Koufax returned his, my uncle snagged it. Not quite in keeping with the Old Testament, but my uncle believes God is a Dodgers fan and would completely understand.

He’s kept this yarmulke for years and even considered going to Spring Training just to get Sandy to sign it (how cool would that be?).  So after years of being banished to my uncle’s sock drawer, he asked us to sell it for him. With that said, we are please to offer (possibly) the only Synagogue-worn Sandy Koufax yarmulke.

This yarmulke has seen plenty of prayer services and rocked out to many cantors (who knows, maybe even a bris or bar mitzvah too). I cannot guarantee wearing it will give you a devastating curveball or improve your fastball, but it should make you feel a little more pious.

Now if I were a collector, I’d go for that!  Thanks, Sandy and Shana Tova!

May we all be sealed in the Book of Life for a healthy, happy and peaceful New Year.

* Updated Thursday morning evening, Sept. 27, 2007

—Dennis Wilen

4 Comments — Leave your comment

September 16, 2007 | 12:27 am

‘Jew, not a Jew’—the saga continues

Posted by JewishJournal.com

It was 1988 when Tom Hanks hosted the game show parody ‘Jew, Not A Jew’ on Saturday Night Live and for whatever reason the game lives on! 

Every day people ask Google if this person or that person is Jewish, and many times they come to JewishJournal.com for the answer.

Are these searchers Jewish folks on a pride quest?  Anti-Semites looking to confirm their twisted conspiracy theories?  Or ordinary folks wondering about other peoples’ ethnic/religious background for their own individual reasons?  We don’t know.  Do you?

Here are some of the most recent searches:
Amy Brenneman
Warren Buffet
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Ron Jeremy
Norman Jewison
Billy Joel
Wolfgang Mozart
Ray Romano

This late addition just started showing up on the logs: Michael B. Mukasey, the purported nominee to replace Alberto Gonzalez as Attorney General. 

Our story sure doesn’t answer the ‘is he Jewish’ question vis-a-vis Mukasey.  Wikipedia does, however.

I think we just have one of the rare web pages that has both his name and the word ‘Jewish!’

Still, hits is hits!    And mazel tov, Judge Mukasey!

—Dennis Wilen

0 Comments — Leave your comment