The brewed extract of the roasted seeds of an evergreen bush of the genus Coffea is one of HaShem’s miracle drugs. Aside from its uplifting effect, it eases migraines and also appears to reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, diabetes mellitus type 2, cirrhosis of the liver, and gout.
So how to thank God for coffee?
My friend The One True b!X composed this prayer, popularly known as the ‘Hail Juan’ prayer”
Full of grace
The Bean is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou among bloggers
And blessed is the fruit of Thy agriculture
Father of *twitch*
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our final cup
An excellent sentiment, but Roman Catholic, like its purported patron saint, coffee grower Juan Valdez. Juan does not look Jewish, either.
So what is the proper Jewish blessing one should offer before sipping this magic elixir?
××¨×× ××ª× ×’ ×â××××× × ××× ××¢×××, ×©××× × ××× ××××¨×.â
Transliteration: Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu Melekh haâolam, sheâhakol nih’ye bidvaro.
Translation: “Blessed are you, LORD, our God, King of the universe, through whose word everything comes into being.
Mmmmmmmmm, coffee! (I’m currently featuring Peet’s newly-released 2007 Holiday (non-sectarian) Blend.