Is there a Chanukah bush in YOUR life?

I’m surrounded by Christmas Wannabees – Hanukkah bushes, inflatable menorahs, and blue, silver, and gold wreaths for your front door. What’s happening? There’s even a Hanukkah gingerbread house covered in white snow icing and sitting on gelt instead of gumdrops.

What happened to candles and latkes? Are we competing, complying, or complimenting Christmas? Tens of thousands of dollars are spent each year on Hanukkah wrapping paper, tree toppers, lights, and garlands. Neal Hoffman developed a toy because of his son’s “elf envy.” Bottom line: can Mensch on a Bench compete with Elf on a Shelf?

These are tough questions. One ad says that a “Hanukkah Bush Tree” can be anything you want it to be. Anything? How about a reindeer with a yarmulke or a Nutcracker that says L’chaim? Can a Mensch compete with a bright red Santa’s Express Train or a bunch of plastic shepherds?

It’s not going to happen.

Let’s face it – Hanukkah bushes are the domain of Chistmas envy.  It’s hard not to be jealous of the lights, songs, toys, and ugly Christmas sweaters. Mensches are cool but they don’t ride in on red sleds pulled by happy, brightly-lit reindeer. There are no elves building toys at the North Pole or hanging red stockings filled with good stuff for us. Celebrating Hanukkah with all the glitz, gifts, food, and decorations does a lot to assuage Xmas envy.

Ironically, the message of Hanukkah is about resisting assimilation – fighting for the freedom to practice our religion. So why do we need a Santa Claus that proclaims “Oy to the World” or a sign that reads “Yenta Claus is Coming to Town?” 

Then came Chrismukkah

The “new” holiday arrived like the latest Christmas tech toy. It became mainstream on television – The O.C. – and spread to Grey’s Anatomy. How can you fight that?

Photo from Shutterstock.com

You won’t find Chrismukkah on any calendar – but you will find its accoutrements: a yamaclaus (Santa Claus yarmulke), a book on how to celebrate, lots of cards, a matzo bread house, and hybrid Christmas trees. Many say it’s perfect for blended families who celebrate both holidays. One convert writes, “I decorate our Chrismukkah tree with menorahs as well as colorful glass balls. The wreath on our door has dreidels on it instead of pine cones and holly. Our daughter looks forward to both lighting the tree AND the Hanukkah candles.”

Christmas wannabee or hybrid? How can you argue with eight Hanukkah gifts and piles of brightly-wrapped boxes on Christmas morning? 

What’s next?

A Passover Bunny? Sukkot carols? Ham-flavored matzoh?

OK – I confess. I’m the Hanukkah Grinch. But here’s a crazy thought. Maybe we should be happy with our own Festival of Lights, stories of courage, sufganiyot, and crunchy, greasy latkes drowning in apple sauce. I’m proud to light those candles . . . and happy not to fight the Christmas shopping crowds.