November 6, 2012 | 1:17 pm
Posted by Jay Firestone
Jeff Hensiek and Adam Wills contributed to the post.
1) Star Wars, Episode VII:
Han Solo casts the ceremonial first ballot in the first free elections since the fall of the Empire.
2) Harry Potter
Voting by Owl accounts for most accurate election results in history of the magical world.
3 ) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Oompa Lumpas rally to oppose Prop. 32 which they believe may weaken labor union campaign contributions.
4) Being John Malkovich
Voter I.D. laws cause massive confusion inside the latest Malkovich vessel.
5) Back to the Future
Mayor Goldie Wilson campaigns for reelection in downtown Hill Valley. Proposition to fund clock tower restoration falls short of the necessary votes.
6) Chronicles of Narnia
Long lines extend far beyond household wardrobes.
7) Lord of the Rings
Middle Earth voters carefully cast their ballots into the Crack of Doom at the highly active, volcanic Mount Doom in Mordor. Everybody gets a free sticker.
Widespread election fatigue across Pandora appears to have been caused by an overwhelmingly high number of campaign contributions and advertisements from rival Super PACs: "Citizens for Unobtainium" and "Navi for Eywa."
9) The Matrix
Cautious voters succumb to Machine voting. Absentee voters choose either Red or Blue pill.
10) The Wizard of Oz
Munchkinland sees moderate election turnout as Mayor of Munchkin City in the County of Oz faces massive smear campaign for “glorifying the name” of an illegal alien. Exit polls looking good for the incumbent coroner; pundits calling it the "Witch Bump."
Bonus: Video Game - Super Mario World
Mario/Luigi ticket tops polls and has star support from Princess of Mushroom Kingdom. Pundits suggest he may squash opponents, but faces backlash from PETA protesters. Opponents say he has received questionable campaign contributions, both from anonymous sources and grass roots efforts. Favors: Public transportation via pipes, whistles. Opposes: Slow moving terrorists.
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