June 26, 2008 | 7:07 pm

VIDEO: Orit’s Adventures in Hollywood: Extra, extra—view all about it

Posted by  Orit Arfa

My initiation into Hollywood has begun—in downtown LA where I booked my first acting gig as an “extra” for a Fox TV pilot.

It was a 12-hour shoot, consisting mostly of walking up and down an office set looking busy.

I met a nice man named Kurt (aka EZ), an aspiring filmmaker, who I was privileged to commission as my personal cinematographer for the day.

 

June 24, 2008 | 5:52 pm

You don’t mess with the Orit

Posted by  Orit Arfa

So I really wasn't expecting to like the new Adam Sandler movie, You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Why would a heroic Israel counter-terrorist agent who's an expert at whipping evil Arab tuchus give up his heroism to become a hair stylist in New York, as the Zohan says, to make people's hair "silky, smooth?"

It all sounded so silly.

But a few minutes into the movie I already changed my mind. No--it's not silly, not silly at all. In fact, I can really relate to the Zohan.

Since moving to Israel almost nine years ago, my life has been a chronic quest for physical and existential survival. Once the intifada exploded a few months into my arrival as a new immigrant, I went from a wide-eyed Zionist reveling in a relatively peaceful Israel to a searcher grappling with questions of Jewish life and death. How should Israel deal with those bent on its destruction? What are the ethical parameters to the use of force? How should we Israelis conduct our lives amidst these constant threats?

I tried to enjoy my twenties as best as possible even as I mourned the dead and wounded. I toured the country, danced in its nightclubs, prayed at the kotel on a whim--but even in these normalized moments, a fear and frustration permeated my being: fear over getting blown up at any moment and frustration over the government's not doing too much about it.

I concluded, after being a believer in the Oslo peace process, that Israel must fight back and never retreat from its lands. And I fought for what I believed in--through op-eds, articles, and, most impactful to me, venturing into Gaza during the Disengagement. In Gaza I felt most like the Zohan--too bad my targets were my own countrymen. I snuck into the settlements of Gush Katif with a fake ID and flirted with and sang to the soldiers to get them to refuse orders to evacuate Jews. Unlike the Zohan, though, I didn't harm anyone--Jew or Arab.

I lost that fight, and the fight over Israel's internal injustices and external enemies is far from over. But I wonder if I have a standing chance. The collectivism, favoritism, and corruption rampant in both Israeli and Arab governments and society makes it difficult for me to create change. The political system is flawed, and I don't want to fight according to its rules.

Zohan left Israel because he wondered: what's the point? He had caught the wily "Phantom", his Arab terrorist arch-nemesis, but the government traded the Phantom in a deal. And now they ask him to fight again? For what? So they could give the terrorists back? So that all the lives sacrificed in the wars are in vain? Should I fight for harsh retaliation or for the integrity of the land when the government will trade my victories and only make Israel more precarious?

Of course, there is the less intellectual reason: I'm burnt out.

Sometimes I wonder what I would have done I had never became a Zionist or idealist. I probably would have stayed in LA and pursued a career in entertainment. Acting, like the Zohan's hairdressing, was always a little dream that I couldn't pursue in Israel as anything more than a hobby.

But now I'm thinking of moving back to my hometown of LA and becoming an actress.

I told my parents, and they reacted with the same skepticism Zohan got from his: "What, you want to be a struggling actress?" The profession strikes them as so undignified for such a "smart girl like you."

But maybe it's time that I, like the Zohan, fulfill my selfish dreams--take a break from the fighting, the wars.

No matter what I decide, I know my past will come back to haunt me--just like the Phantom came to New York to take down the Zohan. I cannot escape my love for Israel and my desire to fight for the good in it. Either I will return, or the fight will come back to LA, in some way.

Hopefully, I'll find some of my personal and national happy ending in America. The movie, perhaps unwittingly, offers a solution to the conflict: the principles of individualism still sacred in America. In the movie Israelis and Palestinians lived together because they preoccupied themselves with making better lives. In the US, the impartial, unpoliticized police force is charged with keeping order to prevent criminality and violence between different ethnicities.

I believe that ultimately peace will reign in Israel when the governments create the conditions necessary for its citizens to realize dreams with dignity and without fear: whether to become a hairstylist, a shoe salesman, a businessman, or an actress. I speak from experience when I say that living in a country run only by Jews will not bring Jews happiness--and I'm sure Arabs living under only Arabs will not bring them happiness. Feeling safe to pursue our passions (which do not include jihad) will.

I don't know if my journey back to Hollywood will be so "silky smooth." And, unlike, the Zohan, I don't plan to sleep my way to the top. But for now I'll stop trying to be a real-life heroine in the land of Israel. Hopefully, though, I can play one.

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June 22, 2008 | 12:54 am

‘The God Blog’ is the best blog, Los Angeles Press Club says

Posted by The Web Guy

I just got back from the Millennium Biltmore Hotel, downtown, where Brad A. Greenberg’s The God Blog, published here at JewishJournal.com, was named best individual weblog at the Fiftieth Anniversary Los Angeles Press Club awards banquet.

I txt msg’d Brad (I think he is gambling in Vegas) with the news and he msg’d back that he was ‘shocked!’

We’re not shocked; we love Brad and we love The God Blog. 

Mazal tov, bro, you deserve it!

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June 17, 2008 | 10:45 pm

Introducing God’s best tasting tomato

Posted by The Web Guy

God typically releases some of his strongest new entries in the delicious fruit and veggie category every year around this time—including the best tasting tomato you can buy.

This tomato—found in your local market wherever ‘heirloom tomatoes’ are sold—is the Purple Cherokee or Cherokee Purple Tomato.

Look for it. Smell it.  Buy it.  Eat it.

I prefer to eat it out of hand with just a sprinkling of kosher salt.

Mmmmmm.

Next—God’s best fruit.

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June 10, 2008 | 9:15 pm

Meet ‘The Goldbergs,’  black and white TV sitcom stars of the 1950s

Posted by The Web Guy

I don’t think we had a TV in 1955.

I remember going next door to the Greenspan’s house to watch ‘Howdy Doody’ until my mom would knock on the wall three times and Jeanette Greenspan would send me home for dinner.

I certainly don’t remember ‘The Goldbergs’—apparently a big show during that era.  I vaguely remember the Dumont network, but no Goldbergs.

I found this digitized clip late last night on the Internet Archive, which is full of wondrous things, including moving images—and kinescopes—that are now in the public domain.

The notes that accompanied the video describe this clip as an ‘episode of the Jewish-themed 1950s soap-opera/sitcom ”The Goldbergs”, starring Gertrude Berg, taken from the final season.  The show was based on a popular radio program, and started on CBS, then moved to NBC, then moved to DuMont, then moved to syndication.  This video is from a syndication episode, and the print is mostly complete, running at 25 minutes. ‘

Quite a period piece, when Jews first ventured out into the suburbs, seeking acceptance in a wider world . . .

Tell your friends.

 

 

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June 6, 2008 | 3:25 pm

Breaking news: Giraffe milk is kosher, Israeli rabbis say

Posted by The Web Guy

I shot this cellphone video of giraffes at the Los Angeles Zoo two years ago

From our friends at JTA:

Israeli rabbis have declared giraffe’s milk kosher.

Ahead of Shavuot, the festival when dairy foods traditionally are eaten, a team of rabbis and Bar-Ilan University scientists have deemed giraffe’s milk fit to join the kosher menu, Yediot Acharonot reported Friday.

Giraffes chew their cud and have cloven hooves, which qualifies them as kosher under biblical law. But attempts to breed them for meat were abandoned long ago—according to Jewish law, because no one knew for sure where on the animal’s long neck the butcher’s knife should land.

But, according to the experts cited by Yediot, giraffe’s milk is kosher for consumption because technically it is a kosher animal.

I’m wondering—aside from what you would make for Shavuot with giraffe milk (a giraffe milk cheesecake?)—who exactly is gonna go milk a giraffe?

A guess an intrepid modern-day Tevye might be found somewhere. 

Any volunteers?

—The Web Guy

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June 5, 2008 | 1:17 am

Pakistan Daily: Osama is Jewish and Al-Qaeda is a Jewish front

Posted by The Web Guy

There are conspiracy theorists and paranoid wack jobs that claim all sorts of things about the so-called ‘Elders of Zion’ and an alleged 9/11 coverup  but an ‘essay’ on a Pakistani Web site takes this dreck to a new level.

An unsigned news article from The Pakistan Daily claims that Osama is Jewish and Al-Qaeda is Jewish front.

Here’s the kind of reasoning the editors apparently find compelling:

Upon visiting the public library and consulting a Hebrew-English dictionary, I learned that “al chai” (pronounced “al-khai”) could mean “the” plus “living,” or, “the living” in Hebrew. I also learned that “da” translates “are here” in German. Thus, the phrase “The living are here” would be “al chai da.” Al Queda is also written “al-Qaida (Dean, Schwartz), which carries with it the same pronunciation as “al chai da.” Thus, depending on how you pronounce it, al Queda can mean “The living are here.”

If this kind of drivel passes for reportage in Pakistan, things are a lot worse there than they seem.

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June 2, 2008 | 12:32 am

Just in time for Father’s Day—a nice Official Jewish Tartan kilt!

Posted by The Web Guy

Found this while cruising the blogosphere:

The first record of a Jew in Scotland is in 1691 and since then they have been an integral part of the country and its people. Jews were never persecuted and there were no pogroms, no Holocaust, no national or state sponsored antisemitic laws. When England was burning and exiling its Jews in the Middle Ages, Scotland provided a safe haven from English and European anti-Semitism. Now, after over 300 years, an official Jewish tartan has been created and registered with the Scottish Tartans Authority. It was designed by the only Scottish-born Rabbi living in Scotland, it's 100 per cent Kosher - being a non wool-linen mix. It incorporates many aspects of Scottish-Jewish cultural and religious history, with the colours, weave and number of threads picked for their relevance to Judaism.The blue and white represents the colours of the Israeli and Scottish flag with the central gold line representing the gold from the Biblical Tabernacle, the Ark of the Covenant and the many ceremonial vessels. The launch of the new tartan coincided with Israel's 60th anniversary celebrations.

As you can see from the photo, it's a lovely plaid, and I'm just wondering what I should order for myself --

PRICE LIST
Hand pleated gents kilt (8 yards) - from £330.00
Machine pleated gents kilt (8 yards) - from £240.00
Machine pleated gents kilt (7 yards) - from £210.00
Gents waistcoat (vest) - from £75.00
Tie - £17.95

Maybe you can find something for yourself at the Official Jewish Tartan site.

And check out the photo of Rabbi Mendel Jacobs apparently wearing a tartan tallit -- he's the rabbi behind this whole thing.

And remember, if it's not Scottish, it's crap! Also, dead men don't wear plaid!

Hurm, maybe I should enquire about a tartan tallit . . .


--The Web Guy

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