August 28, 2013 | 8:58 am
Posted by Zan Romanoff
Well, this one was full of surprises. Which isn't necessarily a good thing! A well-plotted thriller will pull off reveals that are shocking but then, upon consideration, not unexpected; last night's Twisted was full of turns the viewer never could have seen coming. Most of the episode is focused on the social reprecussions of Danny and Lacey's "sex tape" (they're just making out, fully clothed, but kissing tape doesn't have the same kind of shock value, really): Jo is furious at both of them for lying, and at Rico when she finds out he knew before she did, Lacey's a pariah among her friends and Danny is... still the same level of pariah he pretty much always was. Lacey, despite flashing back to her own cruel dismissal of Phoebe from the in-crowd several months ago, still wants to be friends with these people for what I think I can safely say is no apparent reason. They all seem awful. Regina seemed awful! I've never gotten it. Luckily Lacey finally realizes that her friends are the worst-- but only after she and Danny stage a dramatic breakup at the soccer team's party and Archie confesses to her that he was the one who poisoned Cole.
Jo, meanwhile, deals Danny's rejection by losing her virginity to creepy Tyler (the show is not great about respecting the girls' sexual choices in a very disappointing way). When she gets home, she gets a surprise confession of love from Rico, who tries to kiss her. No fun being on the receiving end of that one, is it, Jo?
And then there are the actual plot developments! Lacey's flashback, it turns out, serves two purposes: to let us know that she used to be a heartless mean girl, and to remind us that the reason Regina rejected Phoebe was allegedly because Phoebe scratched her during a fight. Now it turns out that someone in a dark car with Connecticut plates was responsible for the injury-- and it's the very same person who Green Grove's mayor has hired to "help" Chief Masterson with his investigation, the same person who dragged the lake again and somehow found a weeks-old murder weapon with Danny's fingerprints and Regina's DNA on it. Karen finds some financial irregularities in her real estate boss' papers that I'm sure will lead to something soon-- there's an actual plot thread, her taking that job-- and tries to spirit Danny away when Tess calls to let her know that Danny's arrest is immanent. The episode ends with Tess calling someone using the phone number scratched into the bottom of one of her pots (??? who knows??). It's supposedly-dead Vikram Desai. "It's time," she says. "It's time for you to come back."
You must know what I think at this point: it's time for this to be over! And next week, thank god, it finally will be.
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