December 22, 2011 | 2:11 pm

All about Connection

Posted by Monica Farassat

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As psychotherapists we have the humbling privilege of being invited into so many worlds. There is something greatly touching and profound when one bears witness to another person’s internal process, and emotional experiences. It is the biggest gift, the most intimate phenomenon that can penetrate into one’s whole being. In moments like that, in a therapeutic setting, when the client allows one to see them, when he surrenders to his fears, releases all defenses, and unleashes his deepest vulnerability, he in essence, is giving and receiving the gift of deep connection.

Connection seems to be all that it’s about.  I have observed it in my work with individuals, with couples, and with groups. Everyone is longing to feel connected; everyone wants to love and to feel loved; everyone yearns to form deep attachments to some other individual or even group; everyone wants to know that they exist in someone else’s world.  In fact we can feel our existence only if we feel we exist at least in another person’s mind. This becomes our birthright at the time of conception, as we begin to exist in the mind of our parents, and as we begin life by attachment to our mother through the umbilical cord.

So what happens? What happens that despite this vital need and universal yearning, so many people feel lonely, so many develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, addictions, etc., either to cope with or to avoid the “hole,” the emptiness of feeling irrelevant in this world? Why despite this fundamental human longing, some are so inaccessible to form attachments, or yet some others despite their desperate attempts fail in forming the desired attachments?

The answers lie in our hearts, in our histories, in our belief systems, in our survival skills, in our levels of trust in the world around us, and in our unconscious minds. I remember reading somewhere (I am not sure where), that healing begins when one bears witness to our pain, and our story.

At AskYourTherapists, Monica Farassat, Psy.D, collaborates with two qualified interns in training, Golie Zarabi, MFTI and Natalie Landver, MFTI (see biographies). We are committed to listening to your stories, and providing sound, responsible and honest responses to your questions.

With warmest regards, we look forward to hearing from you.

-Ask Your Therapists Team