Jewish Journal


August 21, 2009

Age is nothing but a number



I am 43 years old.  (That hurt a little bit.)  I can remember quite vividly when my mother turned 35 and thinking how I thought she was so old at that moment.  My dad threw her a party and everyone seemed so lame and very old.

While I would of loved to have been a mom at 22, I had my son at age 30.  When my mom was 30, she had 4 kids.  Based on my childhood memory it would appear that I am quite old.  Alternatively, I can choose to believe an article I once read in Cosmo which stated that 40 was the new 30.  Let’s go with that.

The biggest age difference between me and someone I’ve ever dated was 5 years.  For me it’s a bit of an odd feeling to be older than my partner and I’m not sure why.  I don’t think that with 5 years being my maximum age difference I qualify as a “cougar”.  I believe that in order to be technically thought of as a cougar the man needs to be more than 10 years younger than the woman.  While I personally would not date a man 10 years younger than me,  it must feel great for a woman to have a much younger man on her arm.  That’s got to be good for the ego. Interesting however that is applies to women only.  No one ever refers to men as cougars.  I have one friend who thinks that an older man is “sophisticated”.  Really?  Women are crib robbing cougars and men are sophisticated?  The unfair part is that a man could be 20 years younger than a woman, get married, stay married until she passes away at 90, then at 70 get married again to a younger woman and still have a baby! 

If I put the question of age into play for my son then it becomes a little more intense.  If he went out with a woman who was 10 years older than him I would lock him in his room.  If he wanted to go out with someone 10 years younger than him, I would call her parents and tell them to lock her in her room.  It certainly matters more when people are young than when they’re old.  There is a huge jump, and some jail time, between 15 and 25 yet there is nothing really wrong with the difference between 43 and 53.  No matter what the age is now, if there are 10 years between two people then at one point one person was learning to drive while the other one was in kindergarten.

At the end of the day is age really nothing more than a number?  Sometimes it feels like finding love is harder than getting struck by lightning or winning the lottery.  That said, I love long walks in an east coast rain, I buy lottery tickets every week and I’m actively searching for my Beshert so I figure something has got to happen eventually.  We need to open our eyes and embrace the fact that love will be found and we may find it in someone in a different age group.  Regardless of whether the man I meet is young or old, he will be a surprise which is always a lovely way to get a gift.  Shabbat Shalom everyone.  For those who are searching for love, I wish you well and remind you to keep the faith.


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