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July 26, 2009 | 6:29 pm
Keeping The Faith
Posted by Ilana Angel
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For the past 13 years I’ve been searching for love. I’ve looked online, had endless set ups by friends, singles events at Temple, spontaneous meetings at the grocery store, casual meetings in line at the bank, etc., etc., etc. Shy of trolling the Jewish Home for the Aged during Sunday bingo, I really have tried every avenue. I met some great men along the way and had two long term relationships. Both relationships ended with the heartbreaking “I’m just not ready to settle down” speech. The speech was followed by the men quickly meeting other women and settling down. I invested in what I thought was going to be my partner for life only to have them give everything they promised me, to someone else. All you can do is cry, pick up the pieces and send an invoice to the girls they fell in love with for a $10,000 prep fee for getting their men ready for marriage.
The problem with looking for love is that it’s a full time job. You have to register for dating services, sort though all the men who show interest, weed out the yucky ones, read, write and respond to emails, have long drawn out phone conversations, check with friends to make sure they have not dated him, and find a picture that doesn’t make you look fat, old or ugly. I have to do all this while still finding time to work and be a mom. I imagine if you’re under 30 the task is easier. Under 30 you’re perky, tight and things are where they’re supposed to be, not hanging just a little too low or a little too loose. Your eggs are fertile and fresh and ready to go to market. You lack the jaded, somewhat bitter air that accompanies a single woman over 40. But enough about the enemy. By the enemy I mean lovely women who are young and fabulous. By young and fabulous I mean good for you ladies and good luck with that. By good luck with that, I mean back off. There is no real enemy. Women need to support each other. We are all looking for happiness and we all deserve it. However, in the spirit of woman and children first off the Titanic, let the older ones go first!
I’m 43, cute and funny. Not a super model but I take care of myself and have a real body with all the right stuff in all the right places. The struggle for middle aged women is that the dating pool is small. If we want to date someone younger, we are labeled cougars and chances are younger men want to have children and our eggs are slightly poached. If we date someone older, we are in our sexual prime, want romance and travel while the men enjoy early bird specials followed by the 6 pm showing of Larry King immediately followed by sleep. Meeting someone in our own age group is near impossible as they have figured out they are a hot commodity and can get the 24 year old trophy wife. We’re smart enough to not care what people think about us and experienced enough to know our way around a kitchen, a laundry room and a bedroom. There are things that a 43 year old woman can offer that a younger version simply cannot. Can a man in his 40’s and 50’s really have a successful relationship with a woman in her 20’s?
At the end of the day one must remain hopeful that true love can be found. I won’t stop looking. My goal is to find a wonderful Jewish man to share my life. If he can appreciate what I have to offer, I will forgive that he does not know the difference between 5’7” and 5’11”. All one really needs to focus on, is keeping the faith.
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You are fabulous !
Loved the article, very witty, clever and I am sure it speaks for a lot of women…
Isn’t it hilarious that my first two comments are from one of the men who’s girlfriend owes me $10k and the other is from his ex before me who is now my friend? Thanks Max, have Allison mail me the check. Love you Laurel. xoxo
Congratulations!!!! I love it! You’re the best mom! I love you. Dinner is at 7. Your Snickerdoodle.
Charlie is the most divine man I know. He is smart and funny. Handsome and charming. In my humble opinion he is the prefect man. How do I know you ask? Because I made him! Mummy loves you babe. Thank you for writing. xoxo
Love what you wrote, I am right there with you!
Every time I read this, I hear your voice, lovely and sarcastic ! I am so proud of you for this- quite an accomplishment ! You make me smile… Love, the Enemy.
Hiya toots! I’ve been waiting for this….and there you are in wonderful living print!!!
The Ilana I know shining through with that dry, sharp wit. I can see you placing your tongue in cheek as you type. You are a piece of work, babes….and I say that with the utmost of love and admiration. Boring you ain’t.
When I hear you….up close & personal…I have to keep reminding myself you’re not a New Yorker. No…not your accent….its the in your face caustic humor. I adore that (as you know). But the best thing about you is that you know how to offset that bite with a smile, wink, nod and touch. You ain’t so tough, little one.
As for Laurel The Enemy…mind your manners, missy. There are elders onboard.
I don’t know about Ilana, but at 62, my moxie is unmoxifying. It takes me longer every morning to do my toilette, put on that expensive underwear that keeps everything up and in place.
All this is very exhausting.
And we won’t talk about the guy from JDate who put his tongue down my throat on the first date. He scared the crap out of me….and I wanted my mommy.
Nor will speak of the guy from Match.com whose picture must have been taken when he was 50 and didn’t quite match the 80 year old I was sitting across from at the dinner table. It took me about 5 minutes to locate him in the restaurant. But I stayed and was sooooo polite. Manners count for something.
Ilana my darling woman….I think you’re fabulous. Forty + & fabulous. Much love, Ar
(PS Laurel….if, in the unlikely occurence you happen to see me walking down the street with a male….cross the street sister!!!)
Arlene….I LOVE YOU! I’m going to find you a man I tell ya! Go to http://www.everyjew.com/group/askanangel and register as a single and as a member of my blog. I’m hunting for both of us!
Great article Ilana, I’m so proud of you! I can hear you saying every word in this article, with your sarcastic wit and biting humour, which by the way I love! Keep it coming sista!! xoxo
This is wonderful, Ilana—SO funny. Personal, yet completely accessible. Keep ‘em coming!
Your site is a refreshing change from the majority of sites I have visited. When I first started visiting web sites I was excited by the potential of the internet as a resource and was very disappointed initially. You have restored my enthusiasm and I thank you for your efforts to share your insights and help the world become a better place.
Aw, it was a top quality content. Actually I would like to write like this as well - taking time and real energy to bring about an excellent post… however what can I say… I procrastinate an awful lot and by no means appear to get things completed…
Great article Ilana, I’m so proud of you! I can hear you saying every word in this article, with your sarcastic wit and biting humour, which by the way I love! Keep it coming sista!! xoxo
I read this, I hear your voice, lovely and sarcastic ! I am so proud of you for this- quite an accomplishment !
I found this article very interesting and informative. It will definitely add to our knowledge.
I think you’re fabulous. Forty + & fabulous. Much love, Ar
(PS Laurel….if, in the unlikely occurence you happen to see me walking down the street with a male….cross the street sister!!!)
i ready this aricle now. its very interesting and very good informative
super…
I read this, I hear your voice, lovely and sarcastic ! I am so proud of you for this- quite an accomplishment ! You make me smile… Love, the Enemy.
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Aw, it was a top quality content. Actually I would like to write like this as well - taking time and real energy to bring about an excellent post… however what can I
say…
I found this article very interesting and informative. It will definitely add to our knowledge.
This looks absolutely perfect. All these tinny details are made with lot of background knowledge. Keep on taking action!
The post is very nicely written and it contains many useful facts. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post.
In my humble opinion he is the prefect man. How do I know you ask? Because I made him! Mummy loves you babe.
Your site is a refreshing change from the majority of sites I have visited. When I first started visiting web sites I was excited by the potential of the internet as a resource and was very disappointed initially. You have restored my enthusiasm and I thank you for your efforts to share your insights and help the world become a better place.
Luckily, we’ll get all the best information out of it and we’ll be the number one team in the sphere of discussion.
Nice and informative article
nice article
hey buddy,this is one of the best posts that I’ve ever seen; you may include some more ideas in the same theme. I’m still waiting for some interesting thoughts from your side in your next post.
I had faith on the thing I do. I really congratulate for the motivation discussed here on this blog.
I wish you successes in everything.
I have never thought that surfing online can be so much beneficial and having found your blog, I feel really happy and grateful for providing me with such priceless information.
Thanks,
I had made many new things and had faith in what I am doing I really love this blog to create awarness about gaining things on the others mind.
For the past 13 years I’ve been searching for love. I’ve looked online, had endless set ups by friends, singles events at Temple, spontaneous meetings at the grocery store
Hey there, thank you for taking time to share this with the readers, just love what you do here..
It sure helped me a lot as well.This is not an easy topic, but you make it easy to be understood.thank you so much!
In my humble opinion he is the prefect man. How do I know you ask? Because I made him!!!
Thanks for sharing.When I first started visiting web sites I was excited by the potential of the internet as a resource and was very disappointed initially.
i ready this aricle now. its very interesting and very good informatives.
It sure helped me a lot as well.This is not an easy topic, but you make it easy to be understood.thank you so much!
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Regards,
you should never search for anything, all the things written in your destiny will search for you
thanks
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I never read whole articles but the way you wrote this information is simply amazing and this kept my interest in reading and I enjoyed it. I read your post and I found it amazing. Your thought process is wonderful.
Regards,