Jewish Journal

It takes a village

by Ilana Angel

August 23, 2009 | 11:50 am

Yesterday was a draining day.  After dating “Richard” for a few weeks and beginning to think he was great, I got a call from his girlfriend of a year and a half asking who I was and why my number appeared so often on her phone bill.  It was shocking.  I spent about 30 minutes just staring at nothing unable to understand how it was even possible.  I then spent about 10 minutes wallowing, eating ice cream and deleting every email from Richard off of my computer.  Only 40 minutes invested and it was over.  3 weeks and 40 minutes. 

When all is said and done I was gracious and a lady and my father, of blessed memory, would have been proud of me.  Thank God I am one that proceeds with caution so I have no regrets in terms of my behavior.  As for Richard, it is unfathomable to me that a man could be so deceitful.  I put in a few weeks and am hurt so I can’t even begin to wrap my head around this poor woman who has invested so much time in a relationship that is built on lies.  In the words of Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”  I am confident this is not the first time he has shown her his true colors but I pray for her that it will be the one time she respects herself enough to get out.

I am hurt and somewhat embarrased that I did not see that Richard was really a Dick. (No pun intended.)  There is nothing I can do about it now so I’m going to just move on.  I have decided to set two goals for myself.  1) My blog is going to have 300 members by the end of the year.  You must join me on EveryJew.com and then become a member of my blog.  Invite your friends to join our social network which will unite us and make the world feel a little smaller and more connected.  I have met great people from all over the world who have registered and it is lovely.  2)  I am going to meet my new boyfriend in time for him to be my date for New Year’s Eve.  There are only 3 deal breaking requirements.  A) He must be Jewish.  B) He cannot have a girlfriend.  C) He cannot have a wife.  Simple rules so that should not be hard to follow. 

If you are single and interested in meeting me, let me know.  If you know someone you think might be a good match, let me know.  If all these Jews can’t join forces to help one girl find a date for the new year then we’ve got a problem.  If it takes a village to successfully Yenta, then EveryJew.com is now our village and I’m standing by.

Life can be complicated and disappointing but when we’re thrown down we need to get back up. Some things require us to stay down longer than others but the important thing is that eventually we get back on our feet.  I have a great support system with friends who have become my family and a family that I am honored to call my friends.  I have a son who reminds me every day of what a joy and gift it is to be his mother and I have a respect for myself and others that allows me to experience tremendous joy.  Life goes on and I will become stronger for each opportunity I am given to keep the faith.

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