Quantcast


Advertisement

Ask an Angel

Email | Print | Text - Text +

July 27, 2009 | 4:26 am

Don’t Break Your Mamma’s Heart!

Posted by Ilana Angel

Photo

“I want you to marry a nice Jewish girl.”  These are words that I tell my thirteen year old son on a regular basis.  He knows that if he decides to marry a girl that is not Jewish, I will of course love her but he will be required to pay me back every penny I paid for his private Jewish Day School education as well as for his Bar Mitzvah. 

At thirteen, my son has asked “Mom isn’t it more important that I find a girl to love, who loves me back, regardless of what her religion is?”  I am so impressed with him for wanting to find love and being open to other religions.  It makes me proud that I have raised a man of integrity.  That said, when he asks me these important questions I send him to his room and remind him that he owes me a lot of money.  It begs the question: What is wrong with marrying a nice Jewish girl? 

I’m Jewish.  More spiritual than religious but I go to Temple more often than just for the high holidays.  I can sing the songs, participate in the prayers and know when to stand up and sit down.  These are things that I feel are important.  Sharing a faith, particularly Judaism is crucial as there are not that many of us!  I can actually understand the allure of being with a girl that’s not Jewish.  It’s somehow forbidden and goes against what is expected.  By expected, I mean what Jewish mothers pray for every day for their children.  What happened to the good old days when Jews married Jews? 

I get a lot of gentle pressure from my friends to date outside my faith.  I was married to a Jew and it did not work out so they figure I need to broaden my horizons.  When I tell them I only date Jewish men they roll their eyes and tell me I’m crazy.  Here’s the thing, I like being with a Jew and think it’s important to show the value of a shared religion to my son as he starts dating.  It’s a deal breaker for me and God willing will be a deal breaker for my son.  By deal breaker for my son, I mean I will be crushed if he puts my Grandmother’s ring on a finger that is attached to a girl who is not Jewish.

Here’s a list of things that men have said they like about women who are not Jewish: They like to slow dance in the kitchen while making dinner. They think kissing is an art. They are great communicators, loyal friends and wonderful mothers.  They don’t care what kind of car he drives or what he does for a living, as long as he has a job that he cares about and a way to get there.  They can be ready to go anywhere in 10 minutes.  They care about people and don’t judge.  They think sex is important and don’t use it a power chip or view it as a chore.  Well surprise, this is a list of things that I wrote about myself on my jDate profile.  These things describe not only me, but a lot of modern Jewish women.  Has the truth about what a Jewish woman is been blurred?

At the end of the day, we are a great people and no one gets us like we do.  Men need to think outside the stereotypes and look inside the box.  Fabulous Jewish women exist.  We are here and waiting for you to figure it out.  Look within our faith for love because at the end of the day, it’s all about keeping the faith.

7 Comments — Leave your comment

Share this post: del.icio.us Favicondel.icio.us Digg FaviconDigg Facebook FaviconFacebook Google FaviconGoogle Reddit FaviconReddit StumbleUpon FaviconStumbleUpon Technorati FaviconTechnorati YahooMyWeb FaviconYahooMyWeb

  • THIS BLOG HAS MOVED

    By Ilana Angel

    9.12.09 at 10:51 am | Ask An Angel has a new name!. . .

  • Letting go of holding on

    By Ilana Angel

    9.10.09 at 11:39 am | At what point does one let go of the past in. . .

  • Important stuff

    By Ilana Angel

    9.9.09 at 10:19 am | My Blog is going to have a new name tomorrow!. . .

COMMENTS

We welcome your feedback. Comments may not exceed 700 characters.

Privacy Policy

Your information will not be shared or sold without your consent. Get all the details.

Terms of Service

JewishJournal.com has rules for its commenting community.Get all the details.

You are one fantastic woman!  Keep the insight advise coming.  Loving you!!

Comment by CS on 7/27/09 at 12:06 pm

I think it’s hilarious that men think gentile women have those qualities and Jewish women don’t.  Sort of like all the wild things women of all stripes seem to think of men of color.  I think kissing, dancing in the kitchen & caring about cars & communicating are down to personality, not religion or ethnicity. 

My Jewish Mother-in-law, whose Yahrzeit (sorry if I’m misspelling; I’ve seen it so many different ways; I had to choose one), was blessedly honest with me before I married her son.  She said she had hoped her son would marry a Jewish woman, but he was marrying me and she loved me and was happy for him that he had found a woman who would love him.  And she always treated me with love, God rest her soul.  I do know it’s difficult, and now that I have a child I get it a bit better about the mixing.  It does rather confuse things.  But here we are.

Thanks for a great blog.  Looking forward to reading more.

Comment by Colleen Malone-Engel on 7/28/09 at 2:51 am

Thanks Colleen.  I will be blessed for my son to find love and I will love whoever he chooses to love.  I appreciate you getting the tongue and cheek humor in which the article was intended and thank you for taking the time to write.  Ilana

Comment by Ilana Angel on 7/28/09 at 3:41 pm

It’s a deal breaker for me and God willing will be a deal breaker for my son.  By deal breaker for my son, I mean I will be crushed if he puts my Grandmother’s ring on a finger that is attached to a girl who is not Jewish.get out of the friend zone

Comment by get out of the friend zone on 7/29/09 at 12:30 am

I think it’s pretty normal. Because Jewish people and Muslim people have actually been like brothers and sister throughtout the history. (except for the things going on in Palestine these days) Christians and Muslims or Christians and Jews might have had serious conflicts in the past but never Muslims and Jews had a huge conflict (again except for Palestine).

Comment by Kitchen Faucets on 8/10/09 at 1:37 pm

what happened with me was I wanted my nose pierced and my mother, like yours, did not approve of it one bit and did not even consider the way I felt about the whole deal. So, i did it myself and majorly made her mad. But I didn’t take it out because I went through the pain to do it and bought nose studs and everything so I wasnt gonna take it out…seitensprung

Comment by seitensprung on 8/25/09 at 8:55 am

Valuable information and excellent design you got here! I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and time into the stuff you post!! Thumbs up

Comment by Twitter Layout on 12/14/09 at 8:56 am

Post a Comment

Name:  
Email:  

Type the word you see below:

Comment:


About this Blog

Blog Home
About the Blogger(s)
Contact

RSS


Blog Archive






Newspaper

Serving a community of 600,000, The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles is the largest Jewish weekly outside New York City. Our award-winning paper reaches over 150,000 educated, involved and affluent readers each week. Subscribe here.

© Copyright 2012 Tribe Media Corp.
All rights reserved. JewishJournal.com is hosted by Nexcess.net. Homepage design by Koret Communications.
Widgets by Mijits. Site construction by Hop Studios.

counter fake hit page