Today I saw the most beautiful gay couple at the mall. They were both so attractive and happy looking, holding hands and not paying attention to anyone but each other. It made me sigh and look forward to having it for myself one day. (A relationship, not a gay boyfriend.) It reminded me of an experience I had a few weeks ago.
I was looking particularly good on a random Tuesday. Hair looks pretty, I’m wearing a cute outfit, too high but fabulous heels and I feel good. I have time to kill before my son is dropped off from a beach day with friends so I decide to stop into Whole Foods to get a few things. I get my little basket and I’m rocking the iPod while reading labels in the vitamin aisle. As I’m learning about melatonin and the sleeping benefits it delivers, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I’m a little startled as I was preoccupied with the serenading of Michael Buble and as I turn around I see him. He is yummy. Floppy hair and big smile with Osmond perfect teeth. I take my earphones out, smile from ear to ear and say hello. He tells me that he sees I am looking at the melatonin and he wants to share that he takes it and it’s fabulous.
As we start to talk about how horrible it is to not sleep, it occurs to me that he is hitting on me. This fabulous man is being all flirty. I stand up a little straighter, start twirling my hair and hang on to every word he is saying as if it were gospel. He leans in and brushes my arm and tells me we should grab a drink sometime. A great beginning. This could be a good one people. After five minutes of chatting I learn that he is an architect, originally from Chicago. 46 and about 5’9” who clearly spends time at the gym. I tell him I’d love to grab a drink and reach into my ridiculously big handbag searching for my business cards. I’m telling him about a great place in the neighborhood where we can drab a drink one night after work. I locate the cards and look up to deliver my info. He is smiling at me, telling my how great it was that we met when an equally handsome man, in an argyle vest and fabulous jeans comes over, gives him a perfect hello kiss and says “Sorry I’m late Babe.”
I did not even see it coming. Not even a clue that this was even remotely a possibility. He turns to him and says “Babe you have got to meet Ilana she is fabulous.” I shake his hand and don’t allow my palpable disappointment to show. We all hug and make plans to have drinks the following week. I heard from him 2 days later and we did have that drink and have become friends. It’s not the first time I flirted with a gay man oblivious to the fact that he is gay and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m not good at detecting if someone is gay. I could be hit on by a fabulous lesbian and would never figure it out. I would just assume she was a friendly girl and we should grab lunch and go shopping. It’s sad really. By sad I mean mortifying. All I can do is laugh at myself and focus on keeping the faith.