March 11, 2010 | 6:30 pm
Posted by Merissa Nathan Gerson
In regards to Summed Up By His Size, one “Ben M” writes:
Re: “A well-trained woman can come without even being touched”
Isn’t this oversimplifying things? Some women have trouble O’ing because of psychological and biological issues. I heard 30% can’t orgasm at all, let alone without being touched.
Thanks for your comment. I don’t think this is oversimplification, just blind faith in the female body and its ability to reconnect with itself, no matter the hormonal or psychological explanation for orgasm blockage. Despite what modern medicine tells us, women have a profound ability to heal.
Contrary to popular belief, regardless of the many factors cited for a woman’s inability to orgasm, I believe that with the right help every woman can come. This might mean needing psychiatric attention around emotional issues related to sexual abuse, religious shame, or any number of other issues related to the mind and body. It might involve getting in touch with a body that was underattended for years, or learning about her own parts. This could involve giving oneself permission to feel pleasure, or finding a trusting partner.
Citing the possibility that some women can come without touch is to raise the bar on a woman’s expectations for pleasure. Medical rationale for a life without orgasm often sells women short, way before they begin teaching their body and training the muscles involved in orgasming. For some it takes time, patience, and practice.
I give every woman a 100% guarantee that she IS capable of achieving orgasm. It is a lot like learning yoga. No, not everyone can do a headstand on the first try, or even sit cross-legged for that matter. But through training the mind, strengthening certain muscles and learning about the body these positions are eventually possible.
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