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Jewish Journal

Sibling Sex…and More

by  Merissa Nathan Gerson

April 19, 2010 | 7:08 am

Take it from "The Dreamers" on how to bend social norms.

The following questions were placed anonymously in an Ask Your 27-Year-Old Yenta question box.

Is it ever right to sexually gratify one’s own sister?

Wow. Well, probably. Let’s say you are a guy and you two were the last people on earth and you HAD to procreate to save the human race, it would be better to enjoy the act. Or, let’s say you are a sister yourself, and she was dying on her death-bed and you were the only one around. Her final wish was “I need an orgasm,” maybe you would be a jerk if you didn’t manually deliver.

But generally, yes, incest is taboo. This means try not to tongue kiss, feel up, or make love to your siblings. For examples of people who might disagree, read Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews, watch Brenda’s incest dream on Six Feet Under, or rent the racy sibling sex movie The Dreamers.

For more see this article on a brother and sister who want to be accepted for their dirty deeds, and this response from Jezebel.com. In the end, though, you are the only one who knows what your own personal taboos are.

Has giving head made you nauseous?

I would venture to say that many people find giving head sickening. Ie, gag reflex. Many people don’t like things shoved down their throats or putting their mouths in wet areas in close proximity to human waste. Others hate the taste, the smell, the heat of genitals.

If you feel like puking because you got down on your knees for your lover it may be the act, or it may be you need to talk about oral sex, respect, trust, and whatever else floats your boat. Maybe you need assistance, Hershey’s syrup, marshmallow whip, honey: pick your flavor. Communication is always crucial. Don’t silence your tastes and distastes out of fear. This is a sign of poor lovemaking.

Reactions to sexual acts run the gammet. Don’t judge yourself, and never force yourself to do something if it causes you pain, nausea, or distress. Unless, of course, you enjoy those sensations.

Does being a roommate with a female provide the privilege of sex regardless of affection?

Um. No. No. And no. The “privilege of sex” is never automatically granted. Sometimes when people are roommates and attracted to each other, they get it on. Sometimes, when a roommate crawls into his roommate’s bed, who clearly doesn’t like him and doesn’t want him there, it is called “rape.” Careful, my friend. Sex is a consenting act between two willing parties. Love or affection may or may not be involved, but be sure consent ALWAYS is. How did we say it in college? “Yes means yes, no means no, however we dress, wherever we go!” Oh, and “No means no, it doesn’t mean maybe, don’t touch me my name ain’t baby!”

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Ask Yenta an anonymous question!  Send an e-mail via www.send-email.org to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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With more than 10 years of talk therapy under her belt, Merissa has waded through life’s dilemmas with a constant reflective therapeutic bird on her shoulder. Add a few...

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