December 14, 2011
Lisa describes herself as looking like Shirley Temple, “But I’m spicy — not vanilla.” She’s originally from New York, then moved to San Francisco for 12 years. “I loved it, but I needed a change — my life had become too monotonous. I ate at the same brunch place every Sunday; I did my errands in the same order. If you wanted to shoot me, you’d know where to find me.” She moved to Los Angeles and took a job assisting the COO of Beachbody, the company behind popular fitness videos such as “P90X” and “Insanity.” “It’s a fitness company, so it’s all about working out. We have Olympics — we divide the office up into departmental teams, and we have team songs. It’s so not a corporate environment.”
Lisa loves ’80s music and rarely misses a Bon Jovi or Poison concert. Whereas some girls collect shoes, Lisa collects blue jeans she buys on eBay.
I ask her why she’s had trouble meeting a guy in L.A. “It’s hard to find someone who is interested in being Jewish, has a job, and wants to get married and have a baby. I feel like those guys are all in New York, which I left behind.” “Why don’t you move back?” I ask. “Because I’m here. I feel like I missed my window. All those people are married and living in Westchester now.
“I have found that most of the men that I meet in L.A. are born in the Valley, raised in the Valley, and still live in the f—-ing Valley. I want to know what’s so great about Woodland Hills that they live there for 45 years? It’s hard for me to connect with those men who’ve never left their backyard and they’re aspiring to be a producer, director or actor. I’m not going to go to work while they stay at home.”
We talk about being set up. “People think if we’re both breathing, we’re going to want to hump each other. It’s not happening. It’s getting harder and harder, because a 45-year-old guy wants a 32-year-old girl.
“The nebbish Jewish guys — forget it. I can’t do anything with that. I’ll kill them. I’ll be the man in the relationship, and I don’t want that. I need a strong, dominant type of person.” I recommend an Israeli guy. “They’re too dominant.” She also doesn’t like the Sephardic look. “I like the horse-face Jewish look. If you look around Manhattan, everyone’s a horse-face Jew. I like it. I love a Jewish nose.”
“I feel like I need to meet someone who’s not on JDate, who’s undiscovered, who’s working all day, and is ready to get married and have a kid. I’m ready to start tonight. He can move in to my place in Brentwood.” She pauses. “I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a sugar mama. It wasn’t bought in cash.
“I really want a baby. I grew up as an only child, I freed myself from the nest very early, and I think I’ve learned so much and I can’t wait to pass that on to somebody else. The family life with me would never be boring, because I’m a doer — I’m a liver of life. I don’t sit home. I’d like to have more than one child. Two at once would be great. Being an only child was really hard. When my parents pass away, I’ll be an orphan, and I’ll be here by myself.
“I like working. If someone said you’d never have to work again, I’m not sure I’d fight it, but I’m happy to work. I enjoy my job. I don’t think it’s the situation I’m looking for — for someone to take over financially. I want a partnership.”
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Seth Menachem is an actor and writer living in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. You can see more of his work on his Web site, sethmenachem.com, and meet even more single peeps at mysinglepeeps.com.