March 22, 2011
I met Ameenah when I was in sixth or seventh grade at “Jew camp.” She stuck out like a sore thumb ... because she’s so funny. Oh, and she’s black. And there weren’t many black Jews at Jew camp.
No matter where we were in our lives, Ameenah and I always managed to stay in touch. And we often ended up living in the same cities. We’ve both been in Los Angeles for years now, struggling as artists ... that is, if you can call having more money than you know what to do with a struggle. I just bought a Maserati and then cut off the top and let the homeless people in my neighborhood use it for a bathroom. That’s just how I roll. Don’t ask me why there are so many homeless people in my neighborhood — I don’t need you people finding holes in my logic. This is about Ameenah, not me ... so focus.
Ameenah worked for years performing in the original cast of “Stomp” on Broadway. When we were 15, I showed her how to do a drum lick called a paradiddle. Since then, she’s turned into a sick drummer, and the only thing I still know how to do is a paradiddle. I walk around tapping my hands on my chest, and she’s playing percussion with Rihanna on the American Music Awards. TomAYto, tomAHto.
She can be intense. She’s opinionated and is not afraid to speak her mind. She’s really serious about what she does and tends to use terms like “my craft” when referring to acting. I just call it by the term my wife always uses — “The stupidest decision I’ve ever made.”
Although very much a tomboy and the kind of girl who can “roll with the boys,” she’s all woman. She’s got big, beautiful eyes, and she’s in unbelievable shape, with every muscle clearly defined. She dances and choreographs and has won more awards than I can mention.
She likes her men confident, and she doesn’t discriminate against race, creed, color or religion. But she does discriminate against stupid. So, don’t forget to bring your brains.