January 31, 2013 | 3:56 pm

Fifty Shades of Television

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

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By Michael Soter

There is an ancient myth that states that the act of reading is an enlightening experience.  Supposedly, the printed page expands the mind— whether it’s Socrates, the Bible, Ginsberg, or Stephanie Meyer.  If I were to try to pinpoint the moment in history when anything written on a page was deemed educational, I would guess that it had to be around 1439.  Before then, the written word was reserved for academics, priests, and the nobility. It was a sign of education.  So, when Guttenburg developed a Western mechanism that allowed for the mass-production of printed material, the word spread—common people had instant access to what was once reserved for the elite.

This allowed for the popularization of ancient texts and in part, gave rise to the Renaissance—but what once opened the door to Homer has since opened the door to Us Weekly.  Meanwhile some parents are still living in 1439 and demand that their children read, believing that this will make them intelligent and cultured.

With the advent of television came a new medium that could be brought into the home.  A man named Minow, chairman of the FCC, said in 1961 that television had become a “Vast Wasteland.” Television was defined as a numbing medium.

574 years after Guttenburg and 52 years after Minow, we have an irrational dichotomy that goes something like this: “Books=Good and Television=Bad.”

Instead of looking at the medium, it might be more important to look at the content.  I don’t quite see how 50 Shades of Grey is more educational than 60 Minutes.  I don’t understand how Twilight can be seen as better for your kids than the latest episode of Homeland.  After all, Minow also happened to say, in the very same speech, "When television is good, nothing — not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers — nothing is better.”

January 29, 2013 | 11:45 am

1-Part Cocaine, 1-Part Heroin, Part Ways Cut with Redemption

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Welch

Enter the accelerator--benzoylmethylecgonine-- a continuation of invigoration. Expeditious-thought with sounds of reverberation and body left debilitated. It’s demonstrating an inability for any shot of stability. Psychosis! It’s perspiration due to locomotion begging to be stationary. It’s defined by incoherence but to it, it seems congruent. 

Efforts then lead toward a desire to land; to conduct a chemical homeostasis.

Enter the tranquilizer-- diacetylmorphine-- an immediate bounty. It’s soft in spirit with ties to inclination, inclination to habit. It’s known as the seducer the go-getter for the unaccomplished. It’s the Bobby Frost of fixation, demonstrating the ability to shoot stability. It makes absolutely no sense but the sensation is so so sensible. 

Egh… I’ve over-shot, or did I under-shoot. I didn’t mean it. Gosh, I’m not ready to go. When did I become it as it needs to be me and I don’t want to leave, but I’m going to go
-^---^-^----------^----------------------------------------

Not just yet. It ain’t my turn. I need to make sense of this, let me clean this up. This crooked mind doesn’t excuse my crooked actions, action is a gift and I’m the inventor of the crooked. I’ve been taught that I can put anything I want in front of action, so today it will be my foot, followed by the other one. My redemption begins here; it resembles fight, resistance to devastation. It’s my physiological condition’s Emancipation Proclamation. I’ve put my life on the line for the last time, so now I’m putting my life on the line.

Abaddon!  I won’t turn a blind eye. I’ve about-faced . I’m face to face. And I’ll tear you limb from limb if you cross the line. I’m committed to this quest, the Don Quioxte of recovery making a redeemer quixotic. I made my stand, and I swear to G-d, stepping on your throat will be effortless. Why would I pick you up? Where were you when I fell?

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January 28, 2013 | 3:22 pm

Kim Kardashian and the Truth

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Yeshaia Blakeney

The Beit T’Shuvah hallways have been an interesting place as of late.  What happens when you take a handful of addicts and give them each their own blog once a week?  Addicted to Redemption that’s what.  If you've been following the Beit T’Shuvah blog, you might be noticing an interesting trend.  Many of the blog titles have been provocative and circling around areas where humans are (for lack of a better word) weak.  Titles including the words sex, food, marijuana etc.—sounds harmless enough.  It's a ploy! They are catering to the lowest, most immature part of you!  Don't fall for it!  It's like reality TV or cotton candy; seems like a good idea until you’re finished then you have a tummy ache and pink sugar all over your fingers (or pink fingers in your brain with reality tv, (that's a metaphor)).  There has been a war inside the offices of Beit T’Shuvah, a war for the most hits on our respective blogs.  It started with a ginger friend of mine who shall remain nameless, a crafty salesmen and dubious Irishman who could sell ice to an Eskimo or intelligence to me.  Then I got caught up in the competition on accident. Because of my natural charm and charisma, I of course attracted a descent following and unbeknownst to me became a competitor. Then it spread to the younger generation in the prevention office and it even infected our Cantor and Rabbi.  The Irishman, the youngsters, (and I hate to say it) but even the cantor and Rabbi will stop at nothing to get your attention and I for one can't participate and intend to keep a steady course on the high road. 

In all seriousness I'm all for a healthy competition, but the competition should be about meaning, writing, creativity and ideas, not just about hits and attention.  It seems to me what's happening at the Shuv is a reflection of the marketing orientation in our society.  No quality, all quantity.  Kim Kardashian is one of the most well-known human beings on earth and she has done literally nothing (besides look amazing). But just because I put a provocative picture of her to promote my blog, I’ll win this week’s hit race, pathetic!  It is amazing how quick we were all willing to sell our soul for a few quick hits, and it wasn't even crack.  Well I am going to make a change. I say we all come together and create meaningful content!  Not this pathetic garbage you all have been spewing for a couple of hits once a week.  As the most talented writer of us all I would like to validate you by saying you are all equally clever, so enough competition. You all have lost your way, like the Jews in this week’s Parsha wandering in the desert, questioning Moses, wearing him down.  I'm not saying I'm like Moses in this metaphor, I'm just saying.  You might not all make this transition and not all of you are as wise and have as much sobriety as I do, but I think if we all commit we can stop competing and let our true selves shine for the world to see. It's time to redeem ourselves and get back on track! Addicted to redemption Forever!

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January 17, 2013 | 12:31 pm

Sex, Drugs, and other Blogs

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Soter

I was recently looking through the analytics on the “Addicted to Redemption” blog and noticed some interesting statistics.  One would think that the most popular blogs on the Jewish Journal would be about Torah, Israel, and the state of modern morality—but this is not the case.

The most popular entries have been about sex and marijuana—pop culture topics that I had thought would get the most traction on other Internet forums, but not necessarily on the website of a newsletter designed for the Jewish community.

I want to know why.   Why do these topics stir our attention and grab our focus while discussions of Torah lay by the wayside?  Maybe we are not so different from everyone else.  Maybe enlightened readers fiend for instant gratification just as much as gossip column junkies.  I wonder— what are the most popular articles in The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, and The New Yorker?  Do they follow this same trend?

I am not exempt.  I am certainly more likely to read a blog that has a picture of a marijuana leaf than one with an image of Moses hoisting two stone tablets, but I thought that I might be the exception rather than the norm.

Why are you reading this blog?  Is it because you thought it would be about sex and drugs?  Be honest…I’m not a harsh critic.

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January 15, 2013 | 12:32 pm

The Reality of OCD

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Welch

 

The level of ignorance that exists around Obsessive Compulsive Disorder astonishes me. If you are wondering whether or not you possess this anxiety disorder that consists of a repetition of feelings, behaviors, thoughts, and ideas that compel immediate compulsion…. The answer is NO you DO NOT have OCD.

Those that possess OCD don’t share it with anyone; in fact, they are ashamed to discuss their disorder in fear of terrifying loved ones and scaring them away. If you are intent on having a tidy desk at work or struggle with the public restroom (such as I do) this does not give you carte blanche to utter, “My OCD is kicking in.” OCD does not kick in! And more importantly, you can’t have a bit, a dollop, or a sprinkling of OCD. If you obsessively wash your hands and are intolerant of a germy door handle; sorry, you do not qualify for membership. If your home is clean and appears to be well-organized, you still do not have OCD. Further, as much as the media would like you to believe OCD is a positive attribute, it is not. To morph an anxiety disorder into a catchy, hip, slick, and cool character trait is egregious.  It is akin to a disgusting college frat boy declaring himself a victim of alcoholism as an excuse for his lasciviously inappropriate behavior.

 

Instead of making it popular and jumping on the bandwagon, I feel the urge to share the reality of OCD— here is an example: a woman with two children who has daily obsessions about her imminent death due to germ exposure, bacteria, viruses or other contaminants. Because of these concerns she is unable to hug her children. I wonder if her child (someone so desperately in need of human touch and connection) finds it humorous that her mother’s OCD hasn’t stopped “kicking in.”

Having OCD is not a positive character trait.  So, don’t seek it out.  Don’t aim for it.  Instead, just be productive, keep your area clean, and make it common to keep you and your surroundings in order. That way the next time you move your papers from one side of the desk to the other to make it look like you’re busy it will make sense that your OCD never existed and you are just lazy!      

Having OCD is not a positive character trait.  So, don’t seek it out.  Don’t aim for it.  Instead, just be productive, keep your area clean, and make it common to keep you and your surroundings in order. That way the next time you move your papers from one side of the desk to the other to make it look like you’re busy it will make sense that your OCD never existed and you are just lazy!      

Having OCD is not a positive character trait.  So, don’t seek it out.  Don’t aim for it.  Instead, just be productive, keep your area clean, and make it common to keep you and your surroundings in order. That way the next time you move your papers from one side of the desk to the other to make it look like you’re busy it will make sense that your OCD never existed and you are just lazy!       Ooops sorry, my OCD was kicking in.

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January 9, 2013 | 4:01 pm

Fixing Misperceptions with Communities

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Ben Spielberg

I am very attracted to the idea of a community. It is not something that I had when I was growing up, and when I was thrown into Beit T'Shuvah as a dope-sick, existentially disturbed 20-year-old, communal living didn't exactly seem like the answer to any of my problems. In fact, after reading enough Sartre and Thoreau, I preferred being alone to being around large groups of people.

What I realized, however, is that communities are often a cognitive necessity. It is well known that our senses are generally unreliable: taste and olfactory become diminished after years of Marlboro Reds; our brains make up what we see in our periphery; a worldwide loss of hearing occurred after the introduction of the iPod. As a result, we are people whose words carry very little merit. Even memory is so malleable that the courtroom may not accept it as valid. I see this daily in my office: after reciting a sequence of digits, my clients will be asked to repeat the same sequence. Once they reach their capacity, they—unconsciously--guess the missing numbers. Just as there is a blind spot in our vision, there is a blind spot in our memory.

This trait is common among different aspects of human beings. C4N Y0U R34D TH1S? We are excellent at filling things in; in fact, I could probably write “C4N R34D Y0U TH1S,” and most people wouldn't notice the difference between the two alphanumeric phrases. While this is evolutionarily—and realistically—necessary, there are still problems. What if we misperceive something? What if a drug and alcohol counselor gives a set of directions, and they become discombobulated and nonsensical by the time they are understood? What if twelve-step programs are just too many steps for most individuals to comprehend in one sitting?

Communities fill the hole in the gap of our senses. As individuals, we understand very little of what goes on in the outside world. As community members, though, we fill in the gaps for each other. If a twelve-step program seems too daunting, overflowing your mental and emotional capacity, you get a sponsor. If you don't understand a passage in the Torah, or one of Rabbi Mark's sermons, you ask a member of the community. After all, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

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January 6, 2013 | 1:23 pm

Accepting Your Faults

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Josh Silver

Growing up, I was one of those kids who always compared myself to others. No matter how hard I tried I never seemed to be quick enough, smart enough, tall enough, artistic enough. Really you can just fill in any adjective and I would have found someone that was better than me. When I look back on the way I felt about myself I think that using drugs started as a way to quiet that voice of discontent in my head. I fell back on drugs as a crutch and as long as I was high I could rationalize my faults and blame my lack of “enough” on the fact that I was an addict.

Sobriety has given me a much better solution to this problem. I’ve learned that once you accept your faults, you are then able to see your own strengths. Of equal importance is the fact that once I accept my own faults, I can then accept the faults of others. I can learn to look at a whole person and not extrapolate their whole personality from a single action that they’ve made. So now, with these new tools, I can accept both others and myself.

It might seem pretty obvious that accepting your own faults can have a positive impact on your life; the truth is this is easier said than done. While there may never be a definitive “How To” on acceptance, there are a few little tricks to use.

First of all, start with the little things. Let yourself have some time everyday to be you. Be lazy, be scared, be weird, nerdy, stupid, obsessed, depressed—just be you. Next, try and make a list of things that you like about yourself. Funny enough, this is harder than it sounds but I refuse to believe that you (the reader) aren’t talented at anything. Lastly, combine these two aspects of yourself and try looking at the whole picture. Try surrounding yourself with people that will both call you on your bullshit and let you know when you’ve done something right.

Most importantly, realize that nobody is perfect and it’s pointless trying to be.

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December 24, 2012 | 10:50 am

From Prison to Purpose

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Danny G.

For forty years I have been an addict, alcoholic and criminal and on September 1st, 2012 I was released from prison after almost 12 years of incarceration. I learned of Beit T’Shuvah about a year prior to my release and started writing to Carrie Newman in Beit T’Shuvah’s Alternative Sentencing Department. Being tired of my old way of life, Carrie gave me hope that Beit T’Shuvah could help me start over and learn how to live well. When I finally arrived at Beit T’Shuvah it was 1 am and that’s when the magic started. I was greeted with open arms by a warm and compassionate staff and residents that made me feel like I was someone. I felt like I was part of a family. I was given a treatment team to help me transition from the past and guide me into a future I could have only dreamed about—being a productive, sober man. Soon after I tried to locate my daughter Heather who I had not seen in over 6 years and after 30 days of searching I had no results. On one of monthly visits to my parole agent he said to me, “your daughter called she’s looking for you and wants to see you.” I just about broke down in his office after he gave me her number. And strangely enough two weeks prior I told my therapist I had a vision of seeing Heather at our Friday Night services. Putting the plan into action I arranged a ride and when I called Heather she mentioned Bruce wanted to call me. Bruce is my brother who I hadn’t seen in 12 years. That Friday night they both came and we got to see each other, spend time enjoying the service, dinner and being reunited. Beit T’Shuvah has given me back a life—clean and sober and with spirituality I didn’t know I still had. I was raised Orthodox and thought that feeling was lost forever and with it the desire to do the right thing. The miracle of having my daughter back in my life and the way it all came together in this place is truly magic— Beit T’Shuvah changes lives. I am living proof this transformation has happened in just three months and it’s just beginning. I am learning to love myself and live well. I owe Beit T’Shuvah my life, and the magic has just started.

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