March 21, 2013 | 1:50 pm

A Teacher’s Mistake

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

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By Michael Soter

In any job, no matter how passion-infused it may be, work can sometimes begin to feel monotonous.  Though I usually love my job, I am certainly not exempt from fleeting thoughts of pointlessness. But every time these thoughts begin to achieve any clout, something happens that reminds me of why I speak to kids, reinforcing the importance of my work.  Last week, I encountered a student who seemed particularly interested in the concept of t’shuvah.

The student asked, “Is change really possible?”

As this is one of our primary messages, we shared our own stories of redemption and we talked about the Jewish teachings concerning t’shuvah.  The student was overcome with relief, as he told us the rationale behind his curiosity.  One of his teachers had just told him that he could not go on the school-sponsored trip to Israel later this year.

The teacher said, “You’re disruptive in class.  If you’re bad now, you will always be bad.”

While the student may have been hyperbolizing his teacher’s statement, this is the message that he received.  This ideology is exactly what we are trying to combat.  We believe in the redemption of the human soul, we believe that we were all born with an elohai neshama and that if we make the necessary effort and have the requisite courage, we all have the ability to change and achieve redemption.  Our teachers and our parents need to join us in this battle, assisting students in their journey to become the best versions of themselves, so that they can be just a little bit better than they were yesterday.

March 20, 2013 | 2:37 pm

Things I’ve Noticed at BTS

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Ben Spielberg

I’ve been a member of the Beit T’Shuvah community for over two and a half years. We do a relatively good job of showing the online community what Beit T’Shuvah represents, but there is some information that is missing. Do you know what it feels like to actually live at Beit T’Shuvah? It’s grueling, frustrating, beautiful, creative, spontaneous, dark, sometimes romantic. It’s exciting and it has dull moments. Here are 20 tips that I’ve noticed over the years, in case you were wondering:

1. A small percentage of the residents do a large percentage of the household chores.

2. Sometimes auxiliary programs like Prevention or BTS Communications are more helpful to residents than standard group psychotherapy.

3. Rabbi Mark hates it when people do stupid things.

4. Don’t ever take chairs from Harriet’s office.

5. Spilling your own coffee and cleaning it up is a profound representation of growth.

6. Cleaning up somebody else’s coffee means that you are probably a people-pleaser, and should work on that.

7. Spilling coffee and walking away could mean one of two things: either you are still detoxing, or you are too caught up in your ego/depression.

8. Pretending to spill coffee so that you can publicly clean it up means that you have a serious mental condition.

9. Wearing sweat pants during working hours are highly correlated with unemployment.

10. The chiropractor visits are some of the most exciting moments during the week.

11. There is a black hole during Shabbos set-up and clean-up where people disappear and cannot be found until its subsequent culmination.

12. Sometimes people don’t “get it” until they graduate from Beit T’Shuvah, relapse, and move back in.

13. Cigarette smoking has decreased on Shirley’s patio because of the prominence of electronic cigarettes.

14. The amount of coffee Beit T’Shuvah uses per month could power a steam engine.

15. Don’t ever put your hat on backwards.

16. Absolute honesty is key.

17. It’s good to acknowledge the darkest parts of yourself. We use them to make you a better, stronger person.

18. Try to show up for as many things as you can. If you show up to too much, though, there’s probably something wrong with you.

19. Don’t be discouraged by the people who have lived here for 6+ months. We were all supposed to be here for only 30 days.

20. Happiness and misery are both contagious. You have the choice to infect your fellow peers.

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March 19, 2013 | 12:55 pm

Hava Nagila (The Movie) Screening

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Welch

I absolutely love culture. I have always had appreciation for how things used to be and I often reminisce on how good I had it, or how good the generations before me had it. The ideas of Free love, peace, agriculture, founding fathers, and power of the people. I look back and see a collective community effort. This is not to be misconstrued with living in the past, as I believe we can reflect on the “good ole days” to incorporate them into today. The synthesis of different cultures, backgrounds, and deep personalities somehow always seems to be present as I look back on the history of humanity. Even in times of war we have evidence of unification. The visual that it paints for me is that out of every event in history, a concept arises where we see the resilient spirit of people.

This is why Alcoholics Anonymous is so handy and impactful. It’s a constant reminder of our common welfare coming first, and that recovery depends on group unity. The recovery can be anything, and as AA quickly understood, it was a cornerstone for allowing the broken to heal. They identified what has worked throughout time and found that without you, I don’t exist; you need me just as much as I need you. That is why this is the first and most important tradition of this program. The concept of group has demonstrated results over hundreds of years.

Music is another great example of how culture has established itself through periods of being extraordinary. When we hear songs we go back, we have reference, and life has meaning. No matter the degree of difficulty life is presenting or the trials a community is facing; a song can be played and an instantaneous shift can be made in thousands of people. There’s no better example of this than Hava Nagila. Jews have been tossed around the earth for almost 2 centuries, a culture that could summon the negative in everyday living at any given time. But put on Hava Nagila and years of persecution are thrown aside. The positive repercussions of this folk song have infected more than just the Jews; this song can be heard in many customs or events with congratulatory undertones.

This Thursday, at 7:20pm, Beit T’Shuvah will be hosting a private screening of Hava Nagila (The Movie). This film will tell more than just the story of a prominent folk song; it will also have insights into why this song has become such an enduring part of the Jewish Tradition. The movie will also have a Q&A with Film Maker Roberta Grossman and Producer, Marta Kauffman (creator of Friends). For tickets please visit www.beittshuvah.org.

Hope to see you there.

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March 18, 2013 | 1:59 pm

Why is this Trip Different than All Other Trips?

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Adam Siegel

At Beit T’Shuvah, we thrive on transformative experiences; stories of transformation and redemption nourish our souls.  Often times, the stories people share with me serve as sustenance for showing up (for life) each morning.  We collectively celebrate achievements (i.e. cheering on the Run to Save a Soul marathoners yesterday!) and loss (see Remembering Ira Skolky).  We encourage each other to embrace transformative processes and then try to be available when things don’t exactly transform the way they were “supposed” to.  As most of our community can attest, transformation isn’t about enlightenment, but rather, it’s about engaging the experiences available to us with our full selves.

This coming August, a group of BTS community members will have the unique opportunity to engage themselves and others while visiting one of the worlds’s most complicated and multi-dimensional places: Israel.  In conjunction with the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles, BTS is sponsoring a 10-day transformative experience otherwise known as Birthright Israel.  While one of the trip’s main goals is to help young American Jews answer the question “Why is Israel important?”, I’m more interested in how it helps them answer the question, “Why be Jewish?”.  By meeting and traveling with Israelis their own age, they will be exposed to a much wider perspective on the joys and struggles of being a Jew.  From what I’ve seen, there will be a couple of people who’ll experience the trip as just a subsidized tour of a foreign place and culture.  Fortunately, for most, there’ll be a sense that the foreign world they’ve immersed themselves in contains traces of a long-awaited homecoming.  Despite the super-sized itinerary (try going from Holocaust memorial overload in the morning to Dead Sea swimming in the afternoon), the trip does a really good job of creating space for exploring oneself in the context of Jewish peoplehood. 

By and large, this group of young adults (ages 18-26) will share many similarities with the 1,000’s of other Birthrighters visiting Israel this summer.  One key factor distinguishing their bus from the others will be the stories that brought each of them to our community.  At BTS, we tend to describe addiction through a spiritual lens; viewing addictive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as a reflection of psycho-spiritual brokenness and dis-ease.  Consequently, a big part of recovery is the (on-going) choice to embrace and wrestle with all parts of oneself while in relationship with others and the Divine.  Whereas, Birthright Israel might be a re-orienting experience for many of the other group’s participants, this trip will likely be a continuation of the transformative process these young adults began engaging in months or years ago.  For eligibility for our trip includes an implicit acknowledgement that they surrendered themselves to the unknowingness of being a spiritual seeker.  Where better to do this in than Israel?  

Applications are still being accepted for our trip.  For more info, email me at asiegel@beittshuvah.org or go to www.absolutelyisrael.com to apply.

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March 15, 2013 | 11:09 am

Am I On the List?

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Rabbi Mark Borovitz

Reading the front cover article of the Jewish Journal sparked a lively conversation between my wife, Harriet Rossetto, and myself. It also sparked an internal dialogue within me. What is our fascination with lists and how do we let them determine our own self-worth? Even though the "Rabbi's List" has no real meaning, no weight, nothing really to it except the abuse of power, influence and media attention; I still find myself checking it and getting angry that I and many of my most deserving colleagues aren't on it! I think it is about 51/49 between me and my colleagues with me not being on it the 51%:). There are lists of the best places to go to and the best hotels to stay at, etc. Every category of life has lists, except maybe lists of how to care for others, lists of how I have harmed others, lists of the ways we can improve our world. Those lists don't seem to get as much attention.

I want to be on a list! I know I am on lists of people who feel both gratitude and resentment towards me. I know I influence people to live well. I also know I check all of the lists that come out to see if my organization, my name, my friend’s names, the places I have seen and visited, my ideas and ideals, etc. are on the multitude of lists that come out. What is wrong here?

We are a world obsessed with outside validation. We are a people who need outside validation to feel okay about ourselves. We are people who judge our insides by the outsides of others. We are, unfortunately, not validating our own intrinsic worth. We are, sadly, not honoring the wisdom God has given us.

Passover is 10 days away. How do we get out of these slaveries? By knowing we are not stuck in the narrow places of lists. Knowing that the four people mentioned in the cover article of the Jewish Journal are not the "great arbiters" of influence, even though they are engaging in influence peddling. We get out of slavery by Redeeming ourselves and each other through honest self-assessment, asking for help from others and allowing our inner Moses and God-Wisdom (our soul knowledge) to lead us instead of our false pride, our emotional attachment to outside validation and our cunning thoughts on how to "get ahead.” I am Addicted to Redemption because I need to be engaged in Redemption each day in order to not "turn back to Egypt.”

Please join us these next two weeks for our many events including 3 Seders, a learning about Technology's enslaving nature this Monday evening and a special showing of Hava Nagila, the movie and a discussion with Roberta Grossman and Marta Kaufman afterwards on Thursday, March 21, 2013. Thanks and Shabbat Shalom.

For a full list of our upcoming events as well as ways to find tickets visit www.beittshuvah.org
 

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March 14, 2013 | 10:28 am

Little Boxes on the Hillside

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Soter

Earlier this week, while running a Prevention group at a Hebrew School in the valley, we ran into a difficult dilemma when we split the group into boys and girls. The teacher fashions herself a progressive and decided that a split by gender was antiquated. What about sexual preference? What about gender identity?

The teacher decided that the students could go into whichever group they felt the most comfortable. In a hypersensitive and politically correct world, this seems a reasonable solution. The teacher didn’t want anybody to be marginalized. However, the teacher’s focus was not on the rest of the class. What happens if the desires of the few affect the comfort of the many? After all, these are 10th graders and I am not sure if a boy would feel as comfortable sharing his intimate problems if he was sitting across from somebody he does not think shares the same issues.

I don’t know if there is a simple solution. I have absolutely no problem discussing “men’s” issues with a group that includes transgender and homosexual students. But what about the students who do? Should they suck it up and enter modernity? Or is there another reasonable solution that I have not yet thought of? Your help would be much appreciated.

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March 13, 2013 | 1:21 pm

Peddling Drugs and Selling Sobriety

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Ben Spielberg

As I halfheartedly worked on a paper on Sunday night, an infomercial on Comedy Central piqued my interest. It was some type of advertisement for recovery. However, like most treatment centers flaunting late-night commercials, there was a catch. Turn To Help labels itself as a place to go when opioid dependents feel alone and/or want help.

The problem is not the website. The problem is that Reckitt Benckiser Pharmaceuticals owns the website. Reckitt Benckiser Pharmaceuticals owns something else, too: Suboxone. Yes, the same Suboxone that is used as an opioid maintenance alternative to the “liquid handcuffs” of Methadone. And, yes, the same Suboxone that led to a 13% net increase in revenue for Reckitt Benckiser in 2009.

In this case, we are facing two distinct dilemmas. On the one hand, Reckitt Benckiser is doing something positive, because they are making harm reduction mainstream, thus leading to a reduced crime and disease rate. On the other hand, Reckitt Benckiser is advertising maintenance as recovery in order to sell a product that prolongs withdrawal in order to make a profit.

Upon visiting the Turn to Help website, I can do three things: learn about opioid dependence, take a quick survey if I am unsure of my addiction, or find a licensed doctor near my zip code. It is only after checking out the bottom of the “Treatment” category, after tabs of licensed doctors and methadone clinics, that I found information regarding 12-step programs and inpatient treatment options. However, there was no information about where to find them. Surely, the website developers for Reckitt Benckiser could figure out an algorithm to find a few meetings or treatment centers in different cities.

Turn to Help isn’t necessarily a bad idea--in fact, it’s a great strategy to take up the most market share possible, just short of selling heroin and owning rehabs. Phillip Morris owns “Quit Assist,” but even they don’t have the audacity to peddle their nicotine patches and gums to desperate smokers. Suboxone isn’t necessarily bad, but it needs to be marketed transparently—at least until the tablets can absorb an AA meeting and three months of primary treatment at Beit T’Shuvah. If that’s the case, then find me a doctor ASAP.
 

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March 12, 2013 | 1:50 pm

Goodbye Soda…..Hello Bloomberg

Posted by Beit T'shuvah

By Michael Welch

This week, I began writing my blog earlier than usual. If I don’t say so myself, it was a wonderfully executed critique, demonizing Michael Bloomberg’s misguided radical soda reform.  As I finished typing the last word of my searing expose, my news ticker mooted my entire blog; a judge agrees with me, nixing Mike’s grandiose, obesity “eradicating” law. The regulation’s intention was to put 16-ounce limits on sugary drinks. The judge called the proposed legislation “arbitrary and capricious.” Judges tend to use this circuitous lingo instead of getting to the point and calling them moronic.     

Yesterday we issued a metaphorically premature goodbye to a “super” mogul who, since his inception as Mayor of New York City, has hogged the national municipal spotlight for his fascist reforms.  Today, we are vindicated. Your restaurants, movie theatres, sport venues, and street carts are safe and will continue to allow you to indulge in gluttony—the road to obesity is yours and mine for the taking.

I’m curious as to why Bloomberg’s focus seems to be a restrictive model of governing. Have you ever tried to take a candy bar from one who’s in desperate need of it? Do any of you remember what took place when your booze was taken away? I thought we had moved past taking things from people to teach them a lesson. Mr. Bloomberg; my mother doesn’t even agree with your grassroots behavioral modification method. As canonized by our Sunday countdown commentators, “Come on man!”

It’s not that I don’t agree that we could all use a quick tune-up, but clearly this decision is lacking in creativity. Sometimes our politicians tend to get lazy, grasping for meaningful change during the twilight of their terms. This appears to be a classic case of short-timers disease.

Let’s give a big round of applause to our judicial branch, checking what had become unbalanced! It feels good to be right. Most people would gloat or blog about a victory such as this. Me? Well, I’m just gonna chalk this up as another win and instead of physical exercise, I’ll exercise some humility.

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