Dating is not brain surgery, but for some men it is more difficult. I think I've discovered why. The current thinking on intelligence is that people have several types of intelligence, which may not be equally developed.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman coined the phrase "emotional intelligence" or EI. He defined EI as "knowing one's emotions, managing emotions, motivating oneself, recognizing emotions in others and handling relationships." Goleman and others have found that EI has little correlation with IQ. They are on to something.
When I went to the JDate Web site to sign up, I discovered that they had my profile from four years ago. For my preferences, I had checked single (never married), separated, divorced and widowed. But I'm older (48) and wiser now and "unchecked" single and separated. Such men do not carry a "license to date." Although our mothers wanted us to "marry Jewish," they had the wisdom to warn us that any Jewish man over 40 who has never been married is not "marriage material."
Phillip was 49 and never married, but told me, "There were women who wanted to marry me, who I didn't want to marry, and there were women I wanted to marry, who didn't want to marry me."