OK, so let me float this one by you. Most people can't contend with provisional thinking, so if you're one of those people, please don't read further.
But New York's official institutions of Judaism would say that I'm not, and, most likely, neither are you. No, it's not because my mom's not Jewish (the usual racist excuse), but because, like so many other intelligent, engaged people on this bagel-fueled island -- I don't happen to belong to a synagogue. As a result, they label me "lapsed" or, in the optimistic language of the market researchers charged with saving Judaism, "a latent Jew."
Actually, these days they're calling me an atheist, an Israel-hater and an anti-Semite. Not because I'm saying anything bad about God, Israel or Judaism, but merely because I'm asking that we be allowed to discuss these ideas, together.